Only music shall soothe the beast
God I envy musicians. Lying on the couch in pure darkness listening to Taking Back Sunday, 30 Seconds to Mars, & The Academy Is... on headphones & realized how much I love music & it's about one of the only things that's been there to make me feel better throughout the years. Anyways, lying there listening to music I realize how much I wish I had the power to just sing out to the world everything that was in my heart. Just imagine how it'd feel to do that on stage at a concert in front of tons of people. That's just amazing to me. Really wish I could be in a band & change people's lives the way music does in it's own special way. Think the reason I've been getting as bad as I have is that I haven't gotten to listen to my music once since I crashed on geki's couch. Also haven't gotten to sing in the shower which is like my ultimate stress reducer. I love to sing but I suck at it(thanks mom for another insecurity) so I have to sing in the shower. God I need a new mp3 player.
So anyways, a recap of going-ons. I moved outta Malibu & onto Geki's couch. Life here is anything but dull. Half the time it's frustrating as hell, other times it's just as fun. We decided to start going to Oushi again cuz we need social interaction in our lives but we need to be around nerds lol. Had good fun this last meeting. Got to randomly dance with Nicole from Oushi. Nothing like doing a semi-slow dance to Blur lol. Laughed to myself as I watched all the club newbies drool over Mei in her black/blue dress she picked up from the flea market. Ah how I remember being one of those droolers. But I didn't like Mei for her looks, but the way she made me feel. Just made me feel like I could do just about anything. She has that weird muse-like aura about her that just makes life fun sometimes. Looking back I miss being around Oushi. Gave me a little bit of purpose & made me feel like I was actually somebody. I was Rock. Don't know how everyone else would describe me but I was Rock, whatever he was. I definitely want to go back & try to get those connections back that I once had. Can't remember the last time I felt as good as I did last night. Probably just me enjoying getting attention from womens too much lol. But last night was a great night full of oushi, thai food, & just adventures all over the place.
I should go to sleep. sorry for the ranting. the music just got me in such a reflective mood that i just started wandering into my mind. i guess you can say i'm happy at this moment in life despite the bad situation i'm always in. still lonely & wish i had someone to share everything with but i guess it'll have to wait til i've got shit straightened out. but boy i tell you what, when i do find someone it'll be a heaven the likes of which you couldn't even imagine. but to quote someone at work," you have to go through hell before you get to heaven" i'm just gonna have to wait & get through what i gotta get through til i can be happy like that. kinda hate the guys here cuz all they want to do is get me laid. I don't want anonymous sex that has no meaning behind it. Honestly sex is the last thing i'm looking for in a woman. The most I want to do is cuddle & kiss cuz I'm lame like that. It's not about sex, it's about love. Damn, drifted back into ranting @_@ music is waaaaaaaaay too cleansing for me lol. anyways i hope great things happen to all you readers out there & remember that things could always be worse. Enjoy what you got while you still have it.
So anyways, a recap of going-ons. I moved outta Malibu & onto Geki's couch. Life here is anything but dull. Half the time it's frustrating as hell, other times it's just as fun. We decided to start going to Oushi again cuz we need social interaction in our lives but we need to be around nerds lol. Had good fun this last meeting. Got to randomly dance with Nicole from Oushi. Nothing like doing a semi-slow dance to Blur lol. Laughed to myself as I watched all the club newbies drool over Mei in her black/blue dress she picked up from the flea market. Ah how I remember being one of those droolers. But I didn't like Mei for her looks, but the way she made me feel. Just made me feel like I could do just about anything. She has that weird muse-like aura about her that just makes life fun sometimes. Looking back I miss being around Oushi. Gave me a little bit of purpose & made me feel like I was actually somebody. I was Rock. Don't know how everyone else would describe me but I was Rock, whatever he was. I definitely want to go back & try to get those connections back that I once had. Can't remember the last time I felt as good as I did last night. Probably just me enjoying getting attention from womens too much lol. But last night was a great night full of oushi, thai food, & just adventures all over the place.
I should go to sleep. sorry for the ranting. the music just got me in such a reflective mood that i just started wandering into my mind. i guess you can say i'm happy at this moment in life despite the bad situation i'm always in. still lonely & wish i had someone to share everything with but i guess it'll have to wait til i've got shit straightened out. but boy i tell you what, when i do find someone it'll be a heaven the likes of which you couldn't even imagine. but to quote someone at work," you have to go through hell before you get to heaven" i'm just gonna have to wait & get through what i gotta get through til i can be happy like that. kinda hate the guys here cuz all they want to do is get me laid. I don't want anonymous sex that has no meaning behind it. Honestly sex is the last thing i'm looking for in a woman. The most I want to do is cuddle & kiss cuz I'm lame like that. It's not about sex, it's about love. Damn, drifted back into ranting @_@ music is waaaaaaaaay too cleansing for me lol. anyways i hope great things happen to all you readers out there & remember that things could always be worse. Enjoy what you got while you still have it.