I wish I could tear my brain out.
I know no one really cares about me, and really cares about what I put in these, but I have to put it somewhere. I am going crazy, literally. Ever since she dropped it on me, I have been in a major depression and my anxiety has gone out the fucking window. Now, I am having these nightmares every single night. I can't remember what the whole dream is about, but I have the same one every night. I see Celeste, with some other guy, but he has no face, it is just black. Then I can see myself and I have all these flashes of different ways of killing myself. I don't know what is happening to me. When I am driving, I have been wondering what it would be like to just let go of the steering wheel and drift over into oncoming traffic. I am going crazy. I literally feel like the only way for me to stop having these dreams and feeling so depressed would be to kill myself. But I don't want to die. I need to see a psychiatrist. I hate my life.