slap in the face...so true..
so my best friend liz decided to comment on another girl's lj entry or something along those lines (correct me if im wrong liz) and pretty much threw it in this young lady's face how society is...and how we should not have to use things such as platic surgery to make ourselves pretty on the outside..and even more, pretty on the inside... so here is the comment, tell me your perspective.. and ill send it to her...
To Moonyfairy:
I'm completely split on what to say about your decision.
As an independent human being who respects your wishes and rights as another independent human being, I feel it is your decision entirely what to do with your own body and how to feel about it.
As a female, I understand the pressures of needing to be beautiful, or at least pretty, to be noticed, desired, taken seriously and really even paid attention to unless you're the most interesting person alive. Most guys can be taken for who they are regardless of looks unless the person evaluating them is excessively shallow, but a person (girl or guy, shallow or not) tends to judge a girl much more on her looks. A guy is expected to be acceptable, and worshipped when he is agreeable. A girl is expected to be kind, courteous, witty, cute, smart, fun, patient and nice to look at and she is shunned when she is not.
As an idealist, I feel outraged about your reasons behind the plastic surgery. As above-stated, I do see how a girl could be prompted into feeling this is the only thing to make her truly happy, but when you say things such as, "don't you want me to be beautiful??? by getting plastic surgery i'll be beautiful... don't you want the best for me???" , "but i thought you loved me... why don't you want to see me succeed in life???" , "don't you want me to be happy and noticed by other people because my outside appearance finally matches who i am on the inside??? don't you love me????" , and finally, "this is going to make me better... then i'll be a better person for you to love!!!" my heart absolutely breaks. I hate that we live in a world where anyone should have to feel this way. I hate that society feeds these insecurities. It makes me want to tell anyone who looks at you disdainfully if you have neglected to do your hair perfectly, decided not to apply make-up because you were running late, or wanted to wear a baggy T-shirt to feel comfortable to go and find someone who fucking cares because your thoughts, emotions, reactions, and anything at all that you might have to say, your heart, your brain, and your soul, is so much more important than what you look like on the outside, whether you’re movie star gorgeous or scum at the bottom of a pond ugly.
I do understand that the world, along with it’s people, does not function as it should, it functions as it does, and there is nothing I can do to change the entirety of it with a flick of my wrist, but I can try and entreat you to abandon your plan and damn the silly notion of making the outside match the inside. I say you will be all the more intriguing, all the more a paradoxical treat, if you, appearing to be an ordinary girl such as I, hold within you more beauty than could ever be attained on one girl’s pretty face, in one girl’s hour glass figure, in all the styling products and make-up and shoes and designer clothes in the world, right inside of you, packaged stealthily as a plainly pretty, but oh so beautiful girl.
If girls like you and me and every other girl who has yet to attain perfection, which is a hell of a lot of us, endeavored to prove the notion of ‘outward beauty = inward beauty’ wrong by being wonderful people without being super models, then the stereotypes would fall away along with the pressures of unattainable perfection and we would be free to be us. The real us. just us. Without having to worry about getting past the prejudices of the “perfect girl.”
But once again, I am forced to take into account the fact that things are not as they should be. Things can only be as they are. And currently, the way things are does not agree with my idealistic revolt for women’s rights. You will not find an army waiting to go headlong into battle with you, changing the minds of millions. The road ahead would be long, hard, full of hardships and a lonely one. The women of today are not ready to leave behind their feminine mystique and until they are, my vision is an optimistic one at best. So perhaps you will continue to follow your dream of looking perfect on the outside, and I can’t say I blame you; but I would be lying if I said this didn’t make me very sad. Not the fact that you want to feel pretty and accepted, everyone does, or that you feel it would help you to succeed in life, that is a sad truth in this world, but that you feel you are a lesser person than you would be if you were prettier.
I will accept you no matter what your decision, just be positive you are making it for you, and not anyone else.
To Moonyfairy:
I'm completely split on what to say about your decision.
As an independent human being who respects your wishes and rights as another independent human being, I feel it is your decision entirely what to do with your own body and how to feel about it.
As a female, I understand the pressures of needing to be beautiful, or at least pretty, to be noticed, desired, taken seriously and really even paid attention to unless you're the most interesting person alive. Most guys can be taken for who they are regardless of looks unless the person evaluating them is excessively shallow, but a person (girl or guy, shallow or not) tends to judge a girl much more on her looks. A guy is expected to be acceptable, and worshipped when he is agreeable. A girl is expected to be kind, courteous, witty, cute, smart, fun, patient and nice to look at and she is shunned when she is not.
As an idealist, I feel outraged about your reasons behind the plastic surgery. As above-stated, I do see how a girl could be prompted into feeling this is the only thing to make her truly happy, but when you say things such as, "don't you want me to be beautiful??? by getting plastic surgery i'll be beautiful... don't you want the best for me???" , "but i thought you loved me... why don't you want to see me succeed in life???" , "don't you want me to be happy and noticed by other people because my outside appearance finally matches who i am on the inside??? don't you love me????" , and finally, "this is going to make me better... then i'll be a better person for you to love!!!" my heart absolutely breaks. I hate that we live in a world where anyone should have to feel this way. I hate that society feeds these insecurities. It makes me want to tell anyone who looks at you disdainfully if you have neglected to do your hair perfectly, decided not to apply make-up because you were running late, or wanted to wear a baggy T-shirt to feel comfortable to go and find someone who fucking cares because your thoughts, emotions, reactions, and anything at all that you might have to say, your heart, your brain, and your soul, is so much more important than what you look like on the outside, whether you’re movie star gorgeous or scum at the bottom of a pond ugly.
I do understand that the world, along with it’s people, does not function as it should, it functions as it does, and there is nothing I can do to change the entirety of it with a flick of my wrist, but I can try and entreat you to abandon your plan and damn the silly notion of making the outside match the inside. I say you will be all the more intriguing, all the more a paradoxical treat, if you, appearing to be an ordinary girl such as I, hold within you more beauty than could ever be attained on one girl’s pretty face, in one girl’s hour glass figure, in all the styling products and make-up and shoes and designer clothes in the world, right inside of you, packaged stealthily as a plainly pretty, but oh so beautiful girl.
If girls like you and me and every other girl who has yet to attain perfection, which is a hell of a lot of us, endeavored to prove the notion of ‘outward beauty = inward beauty’ wrong by being wonderful people without being super models, then the stereotypes would fall away along with the pressures of unattainable perfection and we would be free to be us. The real us. just us. Without having to worry about getting past the prejudices of the “perfect girl.”
But once again, I am forced to take into account the fact that things are not as they should be. Things can only be as they are. And currently, the way things are does not agree with my idealistic revolt for women’s rights. You will not find an army waiting to go headlong into battle with you, changing the minds of millions. The road ahead would be long, hard, full of hardships and a lonely one. The women of today are not ready to leave behind their feminine mystique and until they are, my vision is an optimistic one at best. So perhaps you will continue to follow your dream of looking perfect on the outside, and I can’t say I blame you; but I would be lying if I said this didn’t make me very sad. Not the fact that you want to feel pretty and accepted, everyone does, or that you feel it would help you to succeed in life, that is a sad truth in this world, but that you feel you are a lesser person than you would be if you were prettier.
I will accept you no matter what your decision, just be positive you are making it for you, and not anyone else.