(no subject)
i'm irritated.
and i have reasons to be.
but nothing worth being irritated over.
boohoo. school. whatev, man. no biggie.
i just really need a new something.
a hobby...a job, maybe...responsibilities...travels. new friends (KEEPING THE OLD OF COURSE)
i dont know. im very irritated with the repetitive nature of my life at the moement. it just seems so routine.
and i feel soooo selfish and foolish feeling this way. because i chose such a state myself. im not being too active and thats what i get.
i need syria like a person needs water. i feel so drained without it.
i need SUAD. thinking about her makes me cry. i miss her so much.
i knew it would be hard this year without her. i feel like im missing something. my god. i need her right now.
ive gotten into a different state of mind lately. somehow, my religious studies and contemplations coincided with mr williams lectures on such ideas. (religion, meaninglessness of life etc)
i cant get over the fact that we take nothing with us when we die.
so sometimes i look at things and im like. why do i even care. what real value does this have...instead of worrying about looks, grades, money, phones, techonology and all this stuff, i feel like i should be preparing myself for what comes after...i still dont know how to put those thoughts into words that would not suggest me giving up on anything...
i'm not depressed. at all.
im actually very relaxed...though that "relaxation" is beginning to turn into boredom.
i feel like i am contradicting myself.
but damnn. when u keep things locked up in you for so long. u just have to spill.
uhm...
over and out?
and i have reasons to be.
but nothing worth being irritated over.
boohoo. school. whatev, man. no biggie.
i just really need a new something.
a hobby...a job, maybe...responsibilities...travels. new friends (KEEPING THE OLD OF COURSE)
i dont know. im very irritated with the repetitive nature of my life at the moement. it just seems so routine.
and i feel soooo selfish and foolish feeling this way. because i chose such a state myself. im not being too active and thats what i get.
i need syria like a person needs water. i feel so drained without it.
i need SUAD. thinking about her makes me cry. i miss her so much.
i knew it would be hard this year without her. i feel like im missing something. my god. i need her right now.
ive gotten into a different state of mind lately. somehow, my religious studies and contemplations coincided with mr williams lectures on such ideas. (religion, meaninglessness of life etc)
i cant get over the fact that we take nothing with us when we die.
so sometimes i look at things and im like. why do i even care. what real value does this have...instead of worrying about looks, grades, money, phones, techonology and all this stuff, i feel like i should be preparing myself for what comes after...i still dont know how to put those thoughts into words that would not suggest me giving up on anything...
i'm not depressed. at all.
im actually very relaxed...though that "relaxation" is beginning to turn into boredom.
i feel like i am contradicting myself.
but damnn. when u keep things locked up in you for so long. u just have to spill.
uhm...
over and out?