(no subject)

[rockinrainbows]

i had a good day til i got home. i dont even know the me that my mother brings out in me. I swear to god i can conjure up so much hate in me, for her, sometimes that its not healthy. I always say the same things that it makes me sick of hearing myself let alone what it must do to anyone else who listens to me. One day im scared that everythings going to blow up. Im fucking hate this so much but there's nothing i can do to change it. i feel lonely in my situation because the only person i can talk to who understands is my dad. I think i might look into if they do any carer's meetings for young adults in my area, because i really think that would help me. I feel i cant talk to anyone about this because i get the feeling everyone's sick of me saying it, im sick of me saying it, so i cant blame any of my friends. I dont know im just sick of getting mental abuse from my mum, she's always calling me a bully, when all im trying to do is help her but she can make me so fustrated because she's irrational and everything has to revolve around her.

All i know is id rather be in mexico right now wearing a sombero drinking a strong drink, with a ciggy watching the world go by. I dont know why mexico. Just random.

ah i dont know.

oh just shut up bex. stop fucking complaining and get on with it.