(no subject)
another week, the same old days. Again my mother has started. I was trying to transfer her from the chair to the wheelchair and she sat down too quickly and hurt her arm, of course that becomes automatically my fault. Im cruel. She then spends the rest of the afternoon trying to get a rise out of me. I decided to ignore it and just sit there reading my book. Until she repeatedly said 'how did you get to be so cruel? answer me, your such a bitch i bet your friends dont know your like this and when they do you wont have any, you can say goodbye to chris, to mat to everyone you care about'. Thanks mum. All I EVER try to do is help her and im the bitch. She was waiting for me to have a go back at her and i wouldnt, because I know what she'd do. She'd wait for dad to come back and report all of it back to him. Which she twisted everything around so it made it sound like I hurt her. Which i DID NOT. It was her own fault she hurt her arm, she's supposed to wait until I tell her to sit down, to make sure the chair is behind her, not just fall into it and hurt her arm.
She even kept telling me to sit on the floor because she didnt want me sitting on 'her' sofa. Then she went mad when I poured myself a small malibu and coke, she says i drink too much, what the fuck does she care?
Ive had enough of living like this, and it feels like im trapped here. If I get a job then I make my dad unhappy, and I love my dad more than anything in this world. I think the world of him, no matter how much mum goes on about how he was never around when i was little and going on that she looked after me without any complaint. Well she's not a saint, thats what most mothers do, its not like I *asked* to be here. She shouldn't of had me if she didnt want me. End of.
urgh, when will things ever be right? When I leave here and never ever ever see my mother again is when that will be. Im going to make that happen one day and then I can be happy.
:(
I love this song.
She even kept telling me to sit on the floor because she didnt want me sitting on 'her' sofa. Then she went mad when I poured myself a small malibu and coke, she says i drink too much, what the fuck does she care?
Ive had enough of living like this, and it feels like im trapped here. If I get a job then I make my dad unhappy, and I love my dad more than anything in this world. I think the world of him, no matter how much mum goes on about how he was never around when i was little and going on that she looked after me without any complaint. Well she's not a saint, thats what most mothers do, its not like I *asked* to be here. She shouldn't of had me if she didnt want me. End of.
urgh, when will things ever be right? When I leave here and never ever ever see my mother again is when that will be. Im going to make that happen one day and then I can be happy.
:(
I love this song.