Apr 01, 2005 20:03
on wednesday.. two girls were dancing in a studio and fell through a large glass window wall , 3 floors .down onto the patio. one, laura, was in my choir,she's badly broken but veyr much alive and going to recover and the other girl, kelly, lived in my house. she was airlifted to albany and after a while they told us that she was conscious. but soon after, her parents called to tell us that they didnt think she was going to make it and we all recieved calls this morning to let us know that kelly had passed away at 5 am. and when i say house i mean it. i mean that we were a house that cooked and fed one another, and cry together now. she was a friend, a junior who helped me when i didnt understand registration even though she wasnt MY peer mentor. im sorry i didnt know her better. she was deep into directing a play by carol churchill that i beleive she also designed. she LOVED this place soooo much and i cant imagine why i have wasted a fucking minute here. im really not... understanding that ... this girl that you FELT come into the house is not alive. im not sure the words even make sense anymore. they work in a lot of other cases. like " the gerbil is dead" it wont move again. its not eating anymore. but not with Kelly. not with... mostly anyone.. i dont get it.. i dont get it. i never knew anyone this young who died. my baby cousin joey died at 4 from leukemia. that was awful. but he was the idea of a person. he was everything we wish we could go back to because its such a clean slate... but... kelly, was a place that takes YEARS of work to get to.. she was layers and layers and layers of progress and being... she did so much to be who she was and all the growing to become herself, and still she's died before she's been able to actualize all the crazy things that it was apparent that she would do. and despite my faith in God and our connections i am baffled.
p.s. im so thankful that Laura is going to recover and my prayers are beating out a message to her i hope.