you're a teaser, you turn 'em on...
My thoughts on Glee's Prom Queen.
I completely adored this episode.
Being a teenager fucking sucks. There's no other way to say it. It just sucks. Wrapped up in monumental insecurity and fear of judgment from peers, it is without a doubt the very worst stage of any person's life. I often reflect on how cruel it is to put anyone through that experience, especially at such a young age. Before you've even formed a solid identity, you're forced to sit in class with other people who are forced to be there with matching frayed identities, and you have to navigate who you are while trying to succeed and graduate so you can have a good life.
Glee showed that in all honesty on Tuesday night. Every one of these characters is going through precisely the same thing; Who am I? Why am I like this? Why does it feel like everyone and everything is conspiring against me?
Whether we're talking about Quinn and her militant desire to be prom queen ("I need to be queen because it'll mean I'm important. When all this is over, I'll be insignificant. Why am I being denied the one thing that really matters to me; the one thing that gives me worth?"), or Artie's heartbreak and mission to make it up to Brittany ("I need to be Brittany's boyfriend because I love her, and it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Why am I not enough for her?"), or Kurt simply wanting to go to prom with his boyfriend without drama ("This is who I am, and I've accepted that. I need to be myself unequivocally. Why can't people see that?"), or Rachel and her pining after Finn ("I need to be a star, but I need him too. Why can't I move past this? Why am I never enough?"), or Mercedes just wanting to be appreciated like every other teenager, for one night ("I'm a diva, and I don't need a man. But being alone hurts sometimes, and why can't I have one night where I get to feel like a human being?").
Teenagedom is a battlefield where every move is crucial. Prom is like being in the trenches. You've dealt with the mundane routine of school, and this is your reward for surviving. But it's never going to live up to that enormous expectation. You might be surprised and actually have fun (like Mercedes), or you might have an enormous letdown because you needed your night to go exactly as planned (like Quinn), or you might have your whole world tilt on its axis (like Kurt).
My prom was hyped up all year. I had planned to go with a friend who had transferred to my school at the beginning of the year. We made fast friends and agreed to go as dates long before dresses were being purchased by my classmate. But then, just a few months before the big event, he asked another friend of mine (right in front of me) instead. I felt betrayed, but I also felt like I had to mask that feeling and be supportive. I had to bury my hurt and find a way to make the best of the situation.
Prom is also expensive. The ticket itself costs money, and then there's the dress and the shoes and the hair, and the organization and cost of an after-prom. All of that was a big ball of anxiety for me because I knew how much money it would take to make it work, and I had to cut corners and find ways to, again, make the best of the situation.
Prom night came along, and the actual prom itself was boring and lame but the afterward with my friends was amazing. My best memory is of myself and a few other girls just piled on top of each other in one hotel bed (the second bed empty) and watching this stranger pace around his balcony in the apartment complex across the way outside our window. We named him Quantrel, and we made up stories about why he was pacing his balcony at four in the morning. Then we had breakfast in a mall food court at 7 am and talked about high school, wondering about our impending futures.
I had a really, really good time. Not all my friends did, though. There was drama and disappointment and pain all around. But for me the pinnacle of my prom experience had been about celebrating the end of high school with supportive friends who had been there with me through every miserable phase of those five years. It was beautiful.
But for Kurt, months of building up his self-esteem and working on his happiness away from the hate and homophobia Kurt had experienced at McKinley was tarnished by one horrible moment. And though he made the best of the situation, his pain was obvious and heartbreaking.
The day after my graduation I turned seventeen. I became a dancing queen. That was the moment I became an adult; the moment I moved on from the misery of high school and into the beauty of life thereafter. I look at the song Dancing Queen as a rite of passage. I literally got chills as I watched the final scene in 'Prom Queen', because if this song isn't a symbol for all the good that's still to come for these characters, for Kurt, then I don't know what is.
Friday night, and the lights are low
Lookin' out for a place to go
Where they play the right music
Getting in the swing
You've come to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young, and the music's high
Where they play the rock music
Everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...
You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah!
You can dance, you can jive
Having the time of your life
Oooh, see that girl, watch that scene
Dig in the dancing queen
You're a teaser, you turn 'em on
Leave 'em burning, and then you're gone
Lookin' out for another
Anyone will do
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...
You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah!
You can dance, you can jive
Having the time of your life
Oooh, see that girl, watch that scene
Dig in the dancing queen!
Here's the thing. High school ends. And though you can never quite erase the experiences you had or the feelings you endured, you can move on and continue to make the best out of every situation you're given. I'm not worried about Kurt. I'm worried about Quinn and Rachel and Santana and Karofsky, but Kurt? He's going to be okay. Not tomorrow. Not right away. But it will--he will--get better. All the hurt and pain he's had to deal with will spur him on to greater heights.
Kurt will move on and have an amazing amazing life. And all those fuckheads who nominated him for prom queen will not be remotely prepared for life in the way that they have prepared him.
Eat your heart out, McKinley. Watch that scene, because Kurt Hummel's gonna dance his way through life, to the top. And he is gonna leave you burning.
I completely adored this episode.
Being a teenager fucking sucks. There's no other way to say it. It just sucks. Wrapped up in monumental insecurity and fear of judgment from peers, it is without a doubt the very worst stage of any person's life. I often reflect on how cruel it is to put anyone through that experience, especially at such a young age. Before you've even formed a solid identity, you're forced to sit in class with other people who are forced to be there with matching frayed identities, and you have to navigate who you are while trying to succeed and graduate so you can have a good life.
Glee showed that in all honesty on Tuesday night. Every one of these characters is going through precisely the same thing; Who am I? Why am I like this? Why does it feel like everyone and everything is conspiring against me?
Whether we're talking about Quinn and her militant desire to be prom queen ("I need to be queen because it'll mean I'm important. When all this is over, I'll be insignificant. Why am I being denied the one thing that really matters to me; the one thing that gives me worth?"), or Artie's heartbreak and mission to make it up to Brittany ("I need to be Brittany's boyfriend because I love her, and it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Why am I not enough for her?"), or Kurt simply wanting to go to prom with his boyfriend without drama ("This is who I am, and I've accepted that. I need to be myself unequivocally. Why can't people see that?"), or Rachel and her pining after Finn ("I need to be a star, but I need him too. Why can't I move past this? Why am I never enough?"), or Mercedes just wanting to be appreciated like every other teenager, for one night ("I'm a diva, and I don't need a man. But being alone hurts sometimes, and why can't I have one night where I get to feel like a human being?").
Teenagedom is a battlefield where every move is crucial. Prom is like being in the trenches. You've dealt with the mundane routine of school, and this is your reward for surviving. But it's never going to live up to that enormous expectation. You might be surprised and actually have fun (like Mercedes), or you might have an enormous letdown because you needed your night to go exactly as planned (like Quinn), or you might have your whole world tilt on its axis (like Kurt).
My prom was hyped up all year. I had planned to go with a friend who had transferred to my school at the beginning of the year. We made fast friends and agreed to go as dates long before dresses were being purchased by my classmate. But then, just a few months before the big event, he asked another friend of mine (right in front of me) instead. I felt betrayed, but I also felt like I had to mask that feeling and be supportive. I had to bury my hurt and find a way to make the best of the situation.
Prom is also expensive. The ticket itself costs money, and then there's the dress and the shoes and the hair, and the organization and cost of an after-prom. All of that was a big ball of anxiety for me because I knew how much money it would take to make it work, and I had to cut corners and find ways to, again, make the best of the situation.
Prom night came along, and the actual prom itself was boring and lame but the afterward with my friends was amazing. My best memory is of myself and a few other girls just piled on top of each other in one hotel bed (the second bed empty) and watching this stranger pace around his balcony in the apartment complex across the way outside our window. We named him Quantrel, and we made up stories about why he was pacing his balcony at four in the morning. Then we had breakfast in a mall food court at 7 am and talked about high school, wondering about our impending futures.
I had a really, really good time. Not all my friends did, though. There was drama and disappointment and pain all around. But for me the pinnacle of my prom experience had been about celebrating the end of high school with supportive friends who had been there with me through every miserable phase of those five years. It was beautiful.
But for Kurt, months of building up his self-esteem and working on his happiness away from the hate and homophobia Kurt had experienced at McKinley was tarnished by one horrible moment. And though he made the best of the situation, his pain was obvious and heartbreaking.
The day after my graduation I turned seventeen. I became a dancing queen. That was the moment I became an adult; the moment I moved on from the misery of high school and into the beauty of life thereafter. I look at the song Dancing Queen as a rite of passage. I literally got chills as I watched the final scene in 'Prom Queen', because if this song isn't a symbol for all the good that's still to come for these characters, for Kurt, then I don't know what is.
Friday night, and the lights are low
Lookin' out for a place to go
Where they play the right music
Getting in the swing
You've come to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young, and the music's high
Where they play the rock music
Everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...
You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah!
You can dance, you can jive
Having the time of your life
Oooh, see that girl, watch that scene
Dig in the dancing queen
You're a teaser, you turn 'em on
Leave 'em burning, and then you're gone
Lookin' out for another
Anyone will do
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...
You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen
Feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah!
You can dance, you can jive
Having the time of your life
Oooh, see that girl, watch that scene
Dig in the dancing queen!
Here's the thing. High school ends. And though you can never quite erase the experiences you had or the feelings you endured, you can move on and continue to make the best out of every situation you're given. I'm not worried about Kurt. I'm worried about Quinn and Rachel and Santana and Karofsky, but Kurt? He's going to be okay. Not tomorrow. Not right away. But it will--he will--get better. All the hurt and pain he's had to deal with will spur him on to greater heights.
Kurt will move on and have an amazing amazing life. And all those fuckheads who nominated him for prom queen will not be remotely prepared for life in the way that they have prepared him.
Eat your heart out, McKinley. Watch that scene, because Kurt Hummel's gonna dance his way through life, to the top. And he is gonna leave you burning.