if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change...
So, I guess this is a bit late, what with Chris Brown's tearful BET performance being nearly a week ago. But I want to say something anyway, because that's just how I roll.
When I first heard that Chris Brown beat Rihanna, and when I saw the police photo of Rihanna that was taken in the aftermath (and I wish I hadn't seen it, it still haunts me sometimes), it was like a switch went off in my head. Hearing Chris Brown's music now can get me teary-eyed and can even make me feel nauseous. It's a visceral, physical response; I can't control it.
A few days ago I watched Chris Brown's MJ medley that he performed at the BET awards, and I just found myself staring at my computer screen in confusion. First of all, he chose to sing Smooth Criminal, the lyrics of which seem a tad inappropriate considering this is his first performance since he battered Rihanna and left her on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Maybe don't sing a song with the lyrics You've been hit by, been struck by a smooth criminal? I can't believe someone decided that was a good song choice! And with so many well-known MJ songs available to perform...?
He got really choked up during Man in the Mirror, although I can't say I was particularly moved by it. Maybe that makes me a jerk, but I can't help it. It's a bit too little, too late for me. But the reason I bring this up is that I just read an article interview with Queen Latifah where she said the following:
"I thought Chris Brown's performance was amazing, just amazing. Not only was it a knockout performance, but his heartfelt emotion ... you can't plan that, you can't write that, it's just truth. The guy is a young guy and he made a big mistake and he needs to bounce back from that. And he needs an opportunity for a second chance. We can't condemn that kid. He's a kid and he needs to correct the mistake for the future, not live in the past. He needs to be forgiven. Enough already. We can't keep beating him up. [Rihanna's] going to grow and he's going to grow and we have to allow them both to do that."
The bold emphasis is mine, and I think you'll see why I'm a little facepalm-y about these turns of phrase. I like Queen Latifah; I think she makes a fair point about forgiveness. But maybe those two bolded sentences were not the wisest choice in wording?
Look, I'm not saying Chris Brown should suffer for what he did for the rest of his life. But if indeed this was a mistake, it was a massively huge one that he never really paid for. He didn't get jail time; he walked away with a slap on the wrist, while Rihanna was subjected to intense scrutiny from the media, the evidence of the abuse she suffered plastered all over the internet and news media outlets world-wide. He got off on probation and community service. And I'm not convinced that Chris Brown's punishment has been the scorn he's received from the media and general public, because it seems to me that many people are perfectly willing to forgive him a mere sixteen months and one television performance later.
Again, I am all for forgiveness, when people show signs of remorse. He cried on stage while singing a song that fits his situation. I guess if Queen Latifah says he's sorry, he must be really sorry. Whatever. But there's another element to forgiveness that many people seem to overlook when advocating for it. Yes, we should forgive Chris Brown for what he did, but, and this is really important, we should not forget what he did.
Because domestic violence occurs every single day. In the US, on average, more than three women are murdered by their boyfriend or husband every day. Rihanna could have been one of those women. On average, only 1 in 10 cases is even reported to the authorities. We know that domestic violence is an enormous problem, and that's why I'm not ever going to forget what Chris Brown did. I hope I can forgive him one day; I'm not sure I can just yet, but I hope to one day accept that he is remorseful and take the steps to forgiving him.
But we should not ever forget incidents of domestic violence, especially public ones that involve famous people, because we can't afford to. Too many lives have been taken, are taken, will be taken. Too many people have experienced what Rihanna experienced, but unfortunately many of these did not survive. And all of that, to me, is far more important than how genuine Chris Brown's performance was, or whether we should forgive him as a result of it.
When I first heard that Chris Brown beat Rihanna, and when I saw the police photo of Rihanna that was taken in the aftermath (and I wish I hadn't seen it, it still haunts me sometimes), it was like a switch went off in my head. Hearing Chris Brown's music now can get me teary-eyed and can even make me feel nauseous. It's a visceral, physical response; I can't control it.
A few days ago I watched Chris Brown's MJ medley that he performed at the BET awards, and I just found myself staring at my computer screen in confusion. First of all, he chose to sing Smooth Criminal, the lyrics of which seem a tad inappropriate considering this is his first performance since he battered Rihanna and left her on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Maybe don't sing a song with the lyrics You've been hit by, been struck by a smooth criminal? I can't believe someone decided that was a good song choice! And with so many well-known MJ songs available to perform...?
He got really choked up during Man in the Mirror, although I can't say I was particularly moved by it. Maybe that makes me a jerk, but I can't help it. It's a bit too little, too late for me. But the reason I bring this up is that I just read an article interview with Queen Latifah where she said the following:
"I thought Chris Brown's performance was amazing, just amazing. Not only was it a knockout performance, but his heartfelt emotion ... you can't plan that, you can't write that, it's just truth. The guy is a young guy and he made a big mistake and he needs to bounce back from that. And he needs an opportunity for a second chance. We can't condemn that kid. He's a kid and he needs to correct the mistake for the future, not live in the past. He needs to be forgiven. Enough already. We can't keep beating him up. [Rihanna's] going to grow and he's going to grow and we have to allow them both to do that."
The bold emphasis is mine, and I think you'll see why I'm a little facepalm-y about these turns of phrase. I like Queen Latifah; I think she makes a fair point about forgiveness. But maybe those two bolded sentences were not the wisest choice in wording?
Look, I'm not saying Chris Brown should suffer for what he did for the rest of his life. But if indeed this was a mistake, it was a massively huge one that he never really paid for. He didn't get jail time; he walked away with a slap on the wrist, while Rihanna was subjected to intense scrutiny from the media, the evidence of the abuse she suffered plastered all over the internet and news media outlets world-wide. He got off on probation and community service. And I'm not convinced that Chris Brown's punishment has been the scorn he's received from the media and general public, because it seems to me that many people are perfectly willing to forgive him a mere sixteen months and one television performance later.
Again, I am all for forgiveness, when people show signs of remorse. He cried on stage while singing a song that fits his situation. I guess if Queen Latifah says he's sorry, he must be really sorry. Whatever. But there's another element to forgiveness that many people seem to overlook when advocating for it. Yes, we should forgive Chris Brown for what he did, but, and this is really important, we should not forget what he did.
Because domestic violence occurs every single day. In the US, on average, more than three women are murdered by their boyfriend or husband every day. Rihanna could have been one of those women. On average, only 1 in 10 cases is even reported to the authorities. We know that domestic violence is an enormous problem, and that's why I'm not ever going to forget what Chris Brown did. I hope I can forgive him one day; I'm not sure I can just yet, but I hope to one day accept that he is remorseful and take the steps to forgiving him.
But we should not ever forget incidents of domestic violence, especially public ones that involve famous people, because we can't afford to. Too many lives have been taken, are taken, will be taken. Too many people have experienced what Rihanna experienced, but unfortunately many of these did not survive. And all of that, to me, is far more important than how genuine Chris Brown's performance was, or whether we should forgive him as a result of it.