I'm Loosing Grip Of Hope, An' My Dreams...

[rockingreaser55]

It's sad. I can't remember exactly when if was today, but I think it started in the 5th period today. For those who don't know what my 5th period is, it's Algebra 2, an' in there I sit by this one "surfer" guy I should say? Well anyways, yeah, I sit by this guy to likes to hecka draw, an' he draws hecka good! I sit there an' watch him draw sometimes, instead of taking notes, but today I got the idea of why aren't my fashion drawings as good as his? Well, I can actually answer that question, an' really my drawings could be AS good, as his if I wanted, but my drawings are for only representation. Basically jus' to get the point across. His are jus' to draw. Completely two different things. Then that got me on my fashion. Then the whole period I tried to come up wit' things to design, an' I couldn't think of anything! This usually never happens to me! I was very disappointed.. Then later in 7th period Mr. Gahn came in to talk about to colleges in all that, so that got me thinkin' of whether or not I'll be able to get the money for college, or even have good enough grades, or if I'll be accepted period!! I started loosing doubt in myself big time! I jus' thinkin' 'bout what am I goin' to do in life?!

I lost hope in achieving my dreams. Do you know how bad that feels to have lost hope, in yourself? It's down right horrible. I don't know anymore. Really... Damn.. I hella wanna draw, but then I really wanna work out right now. I think I'm gonna work out, then draw, but then I feel hella lazy 'cause it's late, it's cold, an' Kayleigh's not here.

Damn... I'unno what to do once again.

Bah.. Today sucked..