May 22, 2006 15:49
there were no cameras brought for pictures to hold all the small details. we left them all behind. there was a place for and there was a time for and now we arrive and leave again, there is no point in a keepsake when you run from collections. i know one day there will be a book or a song line to remind me how much it meant to be hungy, exhausted, and alone. destination is a point, destination is a purpose, desperation is a reason to live...and this makes a heart beat. this could be any day of any year. this could be any stage in any city. all that matters is we are moving on. the roadside graveyards pass and we escape repeating. the construction of a nation building up and the destruction of a nation tearing down to build again. trailing taillights like the ghosts of the past en route to arrival. we are never going home.
how can you not find everything you need in all of this? potatoes, rice, and bread, we`ll burn it as we take it in. sing your heart out, sing it like you mean it, you`re gonna sing everything you`re thinking, and you`re gonna sing it until they`re listening. cause if it really brings us all together, i`d say that settles all arguments of difference, surviving just by questioning, can you imagine if we all started demanding? i can play along to every record, front and back every song, and every word means as much to me as every word means to you. they can make an industry selling people the things they want to hear, if this is worth anything, we will sell it for humility, it will take us farther than the posture you`re fronting.
I don`t want to talk about it, I don`t think you`d understand, how things can get so fucked up with such good intentions. If roofs turn to sky, held by the gravity of nothing, an ironic and literal making of a bed. You can walk away, but there is a reason to stay. They make bad jokes, it`s okay not to laugh. For every push foward, feels like you get the same fucking push back. When you had nowhere to go, you found someplace, now with nothing to say you start lying what the fuck was i thinking (you ask) I`m not sorry... I`d do it all again. Now with all the lines so burred between hate, love, and revenge these are just dead feelings.
in the closest alley, in the first doorway, pushed up against her and closed his eyes. he said, "this is probably the worst decision that i`ve ever made." she laughed and smiled. she said, "i`m sure you do this all the time...right?" as the morning came and the city woke into the building people all went to work, as their rides out of town came they parted ways she said, "do you know when you`re coming back again?" dig it deeper, deeper, and farther still, bury it up and over and into the ground, all these lies will grow in ways that we never thought possible. if you quiet down, it`s so soft of a sound, you can hear it all coming back after you. now you want to take it back, you think you might have fucked up. waking dreams of concrete, deafening panic, cracked skull, there is yelling all around... get up, get up please start breathing and the moment will come when you finally realize the results of decisions and choices in your life, you hear it all coming back after you.