ZETA: EPISODE 01
[ -- | 01 | 02 ]
MOBILE SUIT ZETA GUNDAM [DISC ONE]
HERE IT IS AHHHHHH DISC ONE YES YES YES LFKHLKDSG.
SHAMELESS EXCUSE TO POST DELICIOUS 2004 KAMILLE
LET US BEGIN OUR JOURNEY TO HELL.
I won't lie to you, flist. There is no point.
I physically burst out loud with: "KAMILLE! AHHHHH*STRANGLEDFANBOYSQUEAL*"
I'm such a humongous faggot. I verbally reacted in the way someone would sound if a knife was stabbed into their throat and they were gurgling their last breath. Really.
LOOK AT HOW NICE THE QUALITY IS MMMN DVD ZETA.
I'd like to note, however, my DVD player does this "not widescreen" bullshit so all of my screenshots are stretched even though I'm viewing it at the correct ratio. I don't know why it does that, it just does.
Here we go!
EPISODE 01: THE BLACK GUNDAM Yo!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF IT DEFAULTED TO ENGLISH OF COURSE IT WOULD SHIT I CAN'T WATCH THIS OR I'LL PASS OUT LAUGHING. Actually you know what. I'm going to watch all 50 episodes in English. Applaud me.
Here we meet a man addressed as Lt. Quattro. If he looks familiar to you, you are wrong.
AND HERE IS OUR HERO AND MAIN CHARACTER, KAMILLE BIDAN. HE IS AN ADORABLE SCHOOLBOY THAT LOVES SKIPPING CLASS AND HAS A GIRL'S NAME, BUT DON'T TELL HIM THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH.
While skipping out on a judo lesson, Kamille passes a lecherous teacher imposing on a young woman's personal space a flirty youth and a bashful classmate looking to hook up. Zeta is all about the little details, my friends. Most people overlook them, and I'm going to randomly pick and choose a few of them to show you over the course of this series.
For instance, those bulletin papers are completely blank.
Coincidence?
BUT, there is a bigger reason you, my dear flist, chose for me to watch and review this series. I know there was. Kamille senses it coming, too.
That's right.
Cue the sound of a whip cracking and a startled "AHH" and we have--
THE GUNDAM SLAP.
So I introduce to you...
THE SMACK COUNTER
Let's start our counter at one! How many good ol' slaps, punches, and Gundam-brand greetings do YOU think Zeta holds?
Adorable ping pong players!
Cue some relaxing lounge music,
a little lens flare,
and we introduce our heroine who will be treated as useless the entire series until the very end, Fa Yuiry.
...
*bites lip*
Fa, you're so fucking cute.
So Kamille and Fa take off for the Space Port. This is important, because Gundam heroes have a history of completely sucking at driving. Although by this point, we can only compare his driving to Amuro's, who drove in the same reckless law-breaking manner as Kamille.
Kamille's driving isn't the only similarity to Amuro of Mobile Suit Gundam.
Thumbnail biting and a nagging not!girlfriend are similar, too. ♥
Kamille looks happily into outer space. He's so fucking cute. Man.
Best series ev--
I NEED TO REVIEW THIS EPISODE NOT FAP OVER KAMILLE.
OR AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT FA IS SAYING RIGHT NOW. SORRY, FA, I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE GAY.
SO OUR PLOT THUSFAR:
KAMILLE SKIPS CLASS, HATES HIS NAME, AND CANNOT DRIVE IS AN IMPATIENT LITTLE BASTARD. Heading for the space port, Kamille catches sight of strange lights in the distance. We then see Lt. Quattro, who comments on a tingling.
Heh.
Kamille and Fa enter a "Zero G Zone" where "Gravity Boots Are Recommended" because
as you see, impatient little bastards are prone to crashing into ceilings.
Boy: MAMA, WHAT'S THA--
Mother: Don't look at it.
I'm not sure what freak of nature this is, but it's chasing after an adorable space beaver.
So Kamille reveals the reason behind his impatience: Commander Bright.
Commander Bright.
Commander Bright.
Fa sounds surprised and asks, "oh! Do you know him?"
To which Kamille all too eagerly responds with a smug, fanboyish tone, "He gave me his autograph once."
Fa: Why are you such a stupid fanboy?
Kamille: SHUT UP I'M GOING TO BRAG ABOUT BRIGHT NOW.
Kamille comes across some Titans, and Fa won't shut up, so the most stellar Titan of them all, Jerid Messa, overhears her voice.
"I THOUGHT I HEARD A GIRL'S NAME 8)"
BUT THAT KID LOOKS LIKE A BOY
LOOKS LIKE A BOY
A BOY
BOY
BOY
BOY--
RAGE TIME.
2
This is a Zero G Zone, so Kamille and Jerid go flying in opposite directions.
A brilliant finish to your assault, Kamille!
Screencap taken because I am so making that Titans coat on the right for myself.
Nope! Sorry! No upping the hit counter for you!
Whoops, scratch that.
3
Delicious fight scene. Excluding body shots, since this was indeed a brawl, we now have
4
punches to the face.
Delicious rape ti-- If boots to the face count, our counter has reached 5, but I'm going to keep this to slaps, punches, and Gundam Hellos only.
Cue the spy action music and we've got ourselves a mecha break-in.
"What the heck is that thing?"
LT. QUATTRO MUSTN'T BE STOPPED.
SPOOGE'D.
Lt. Quattro in his magical pink disco suit.
RESC
______UE
At least the message came across somehow.
Ohhhh door.
Lt. Quattro's sightseeing is interrupted by A GUNDAM.
Gundam Mk. II sees you.
There's really a lot of nice action sequences this episode. It may be 80's animation, but it was done really well, better than a lot of 2000's animation.
Quattro escapes with only a minor injury and he leaves the colony. But why would Quattro be our main character? Kamille is!
Kamille is being held by a Military Police officer and the interrogation isn't going too well. But I guess the officer has Kamille's yearbook, and is looking at his adorable school photos.
Gived. ♥!
The officer reveals to us the entire premise of the series even though Kamille is just a kid who knows nothing and such information isn't top secret at all so he's going to reveal absolutely everything about the AEUG and why they hate the Titans.
Well that's weird.
NOTEBOOK THROW
PAUUUUUUUUNCH
5
I don't know where beating children with a pipe places
but I feel I'd mention it since I'm not putting it on the smack counter.
Some Deus Ex Machina grants Kamille escape while taking out the bad guys AND offering him a shiny Gundam for the taking.
Bodies are everywhere, Kamille's ignoring his mother, and Kamille's about to jack a car.
Hey that guy looks familiar.
Kamille drives off with his mother threatening to ground him.
I'm not sure where Kamille is driving to, really, but
it's got some sweet lens flare.
Our moe protagonist tumbles out of the car like an action hero as the stolen vehicle careens off a bridge. Way to go, Kamille!
I remember assembling this part on my own model of the Argama. :3 So I thought this was cool.
BUT WAIT! ARE THESE NOT THE GOOD GUYS? WHY ARE THEY ATTACKING THE COLONY?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!111111111
CANADA.
NO, RATHER, THE OCEAN GROUP.
I HONESTLY HAD NO IDEA. I THINK THIS EXPLAINS A LOT OF THINGS.
MOBILE SUIT ZETA GUNDAM [DISC ONE]
HERE IT IS AHHHHHH DISC ONE YES YES YES LFKHLKDSG.
SHAMELESS EXCUSE TO POST DELICIOUS 2004 KAMILLE
LET US BEGIN OUR JOURNEY TO HELL.
I won't lie to you, flist. There is no point.
I physically burst out loud with: "KAMILLE! AHHHHH*STRANGLEDFANBOYSQUEAL*"
I'm such a humongous faggot. I verbally reacted in the way someone would sound if a knife was stabbed into their throat and they were gurgling their last breath. Really.
LOOK AT HOW NICE THE QUALITY IS MMMN DVD ZETA.
I'd like to note, however, my DVD player does this "not widescreen" bullshit so all of my screenshots are stretched even though I'm viewing it at the correct ratio. I don't know why it does that, it just does.
Here we go!
EPISODE 01: THE BLACK GUNDAM Yo!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF IT DEFAULTED TO ENGLISH OF COURSE IT WOULD SHIT I CAN'T WATCH THIS OR I'LL PASS OUT LAUGHING. Actually you know what. I'm going to watch all 50 episodes in English. Applaud me.
Here we meet a man addressed as Lt. Quattro. If he looks familiar to you, you are wrong.
AND HERE IS OUR HERO AND MAIN CHARACTER, KAMILLE BIDAN. HE IS AN ADORABLE SCHOOLBOY THAT LOVES SKIPPING CLASS AND HAS A GIRL'S NAME, BUT DON'T TELL HIM THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH.
While skipping out on a judo lesson, Kamille passes a lecherous teacher imposing on a young woman's personal space a flirty youth and a bashful classmate looking to hook up. Zeta is all about the little details, my friends. Most people overlook them, and I'm going to randomly pick and choose a few of them to show you over the course of this series.
For instance, those bulletin papers are completely blank.
Coincidence?
BUT, there is a bigger reason you, my dear flist, chose for me to watch and review this series. I know there was. Kamille senses it coming, too.
That's right.
Cue the sound of a whip cracking and a startled "AHH" and we have--
THE GUNDAM SLAP.
So I introduce to you...
THE SMACK COUNTER
Let's start our counter at one! How many good ol' slaps, punches, and Gundam-brand greetings do YOU think Zeta holds?
Adorable ping pong players!
Cue some relaxing lounge music,
a little lens flare,
and we introduce our heroine who will be treated as useless the entire series until the very end, Fa Yuiry.
...
*bites lip*
Fa, you're so fucking cute.
So Kamille and Fa take off for the Space Port. This is important, because Gundam heroes have a history of completely sucking at driving. Although by this point, we can only compare his driving to Amuro's, who drove in the same reckless law-breaking manner as Kamille.
Kamille's driving isn't the only similarity to Amuro of Mobile Suit Gundam.
Thumbnail biting and a nagging not!girlfriend are similar, too. ♥
Kamille looks happily into outer space. He's so fucking cute. Man.
Best series ev--
I NEED TO REVIEW THIS EPISODE NOT FAP OVER KAMILLE.
OR AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT FA IS SAYING RIGHT NOW. SORRY, FA, I COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE GAY.
SO OUR PLOT THUSFAR:
KAMILLE SKIPS CLASS, HATES HIS NAME, AND CANNOT DRIVE IS AN IMPATIENT LITTLE BASTARD. Heading for the space port, Kamille catches sight of strange lights in the distance. We then see Lt. Quattro, who comments on a tingling.
Heh.
Kamille and Fa enter a "Zero G Zone" where "Gravity Boots Are Recommended" because
as you see, impatient little bastards are prone to crashing into ceilings.
Boy: MAMA, WHAT'S THA--
Mother: Don't look at it.
I'm not sure what freak of nature this is, but it's chasing after an adorable space beaver.
So Kamille reveals the reason behind his impatience: Commander Bright.
Commander Bright.
Commander Bright.
Fa sounds surprised and asks, "oh! Do you know him?"
To which Kamille all too eagerly responds with a smug, fanboyish tone, "He gave me his autograph once."
Fa: Why are you such a stupid fanboy?
Kamille: SHUT UP I'M GOING TO BRAG ABOUT BRIGHT NOW.
Kamille comes across some Titans, and Fa won't shut up, so the most stellar Titan of them all, Jerid Messa, overhears her voice.
"I THOUGHT I HEARD A GIRL'S NAME 8)"
BUT THAT KID LOOKS LIKE A BOY
LOOKS LIKE A BOY
A BOY
BOY
BOY
BOY--
RAGE TIME.
2
This is a Zero G Zone, so Kamille and Jerid go flying in opposite directions.
A brilliant finish to your assault, Kamille!
Screencap taken because I am so making that Titans coat on the right for myself.
Nope! Sorry! No upping the hit counter for you!
Whoops, scratch that.
3
Delicious fight scene. Excluding body shots, since this was indeed a brawl, we now have
4
punches to the face.
Delicious rape ti-- If boots to the face count, our counter has reached 5, but I'm going to keep this to slaps, punches, and Gundam Hellos only.
Cue the spy action music and we've got ourselves a mecha break-in.
"What the heck is that thing?"
LT. QUATTRO MUSTN'T BE STOPPED.
SPOOGE'D.
Lt. Quattro in his magical pink disco suit.
RESC
______UE
At least the message came across somehow.
Ohhhh door.
Lt. Quattro's sightseeing is interrupted by A GUNDAM.
Gundam Mk. II sees you.
There's really a lot of nice action sequences this episode. It may be 80's animation, but it was done really well, better than a lot of 2000's animation.
Quattro escapes with only a minor injury and he leaves the colony. But why would Quattro be our main character? Kamille is!
Kamille is being held by a Military Police officer and the interrogation isn't going too well. But I guess the officer has Kamille's yearbook, and is looking at his adorable school photos.
Gived. ♥!
The officer reveals to us the entire premise of the series even though Kamille is just a kid who knows nothing and such information isn't top secret at all so he's going to reveal absolutely everything about the AEUG and why they hate the Titans.
Well that's weird.
NOTEBOOK THROW
PAUUUUUUUUNCH
5
I don't know where beating children with a pipe places
but I feel I'd mention it since I'm not putting it on the smack counter.
Some Deus Ex Machina grants Kamille escape while taking out the bad guys AND offering him a shiny Gundam for the taking.
Bodies are everywhere, Kamille's ignoring his mother, and Kamille's about to jack a car.
Hey that guy looks familiar.
Kamille drives off with his mother threatening to ground him.
I'm not sure where Kamille is driving to, really, but
it's got some sweet lens flare.
Our moe protagonist tumbles out of the car like an action hero as the stolen vehicle careens off a bridge. Way to go, Kamille!
I remember assembling this part on my own model of the Argama. :3 So I thought this was cool.
BUT WAIT! ARE THESE NOT THE GOOD GUYS? WHY ARE THEY ATTACKING THE COLONY?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!111111111
CANADA.
NO, RATHER, THE OCEAN GROUP.
I HONESTLY HAD NO IDEA. I THINK THIS EXPLAINS A LOT OF THINGS.