(no subject)
I'm going crazy. NO seriously I'm going fucking crazy. It's 12:30 in the morning and my brain is spinning. The whole fucking room is spinning. I'm fucking 15 and I've already lost so much. This isn't fucking fair. It isn't fair to my family. Or my friends. I wish I could take everything back. I wish I never put that fucking blade to my wrist for the first time. I wish I never mixed salt and water. I wish I was never in that play house when I was five. God I wish I wasn't. I wish I wasn't depressed. I wish I was a good kid. I wish my parents trusted me. I promised myself things. And i let myself down. I wish there was one person who knew exactly how i feel just so someone would understand. I want a new fucking body. I want a new fucking mind. I want want want..that's what my dad said to me at least. I want to be above all of these buildings. I feel like every where I walk, there's a raincloud above me. Why do people talk to me?