2dozenowies: 14. minor annoyances (hiccups) (barely-there cox/jd, G)
Title: Hiccups.
Rating: G.
Pairings: Cox/JD (if you squint).
Notes: For 2dozenowies. Probably set sometime during the first season? Also this might be one of the shortest things I have ever written.
Word Count: 365? Weak.
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Hic.
Hic.
Hic.
Hic.
Perry Cox takes a deep breath and begins to count, but he doesn't get to three before it happens again. Hic. He sits up and snarls, his hand gripping the back of the couch like a vise, and he's expecting Nervous Guy or maybe Barbie, because could there be anyone more annoying, but when he sees, he remembers. Newbie. Emma-Laurie-Allison-Alicia. "For God's sakes, Becky, would you drink some water?"
"Oh, hey, Dr. (hic) Cox. I didn't see you," comes the reply. Awfully cheery for someone likely to be meeting their very painful death in just moments. Neither of them speaks for a moment, the silence only broken by the incessant, squeaking, irritatingly regular hiccuping.
"Either you go," Perry Cox says, "or your diaphragm does. My God, Eliza, it's like Chinese water torture, listening to this."
"Sorry. I've been (hic) holding my breath, trying to get rid of them since lunch. They just won't ..." A pause, and a frown. "Stop." Hic. "Dammit!"
"As fun as it might be, watching you experience your own private hell, I'm afraid I just can't do it anymore. I have been here for many, many hours, and I don't care to count them, Christina, understand? - the point is, I'm so very tired, and if I don't get at least five minutes here, if I have to hear that noise - that sad, wheezing noise - one more time ... well, I am going to kill someone. You have driven me to the brink of murder, Newbie, so do what you have to: breathe into a paper bag, hold your breath until your face turns blue - hell, drown yourself if you must, but please, don't make me kill. I'm not sure any jury would acquit a madman blathering about Newbies and hiccups." He pauses. "Then again, we could just enter you as defense exhibit A, couldn't we? It might not get a not guilty verdict, but it sure would make for one hell of a Law and Order episode." He lies back down and hears the scrape of a chair against tile, a shuffle of papers, and footsteps walking out the door as Newbie leaves, hiccupping all the way.
*snerk*
(2dozenowies table here)
Rating: G.
Pairings: Cox/JD (if you squint).
Notes: For 2dozenowies. Probably set sometime during the first season? Also this might be one of the shortest things I have ever written.
Word Count: 365? Weak.
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Hic.
Hic.
Hic.
Hic.
Perry Cox takes a deep breath and begins to count, but he doesn't get to three before it happens again. Hic. He sits up and snarls, his hand gripping the back of the couch like a vise, and he's expecting Nervous Guy or maybe Barbie, because could there be anyone more annoying, but when he sees, he remembers. Newbie. Emma-Laurie-Allison-Alicia. "For God's sakes, Becky, would you drink some water?"
"Oh, hey, Dr. (hic) Cox. I didn't see you," comes the reply. Awfully cheery for someone likely to be meeting their very painful death in just moments. Neither of them speaks for a moment, the silence only broken by the incessant, squeaking, irritatingly regular hiccuping.
"Either you go," Perry Cox says, "or your diaphragm does. My God, Eliza, it's like Chinese water torture, listening to this."
"Sorry. I've been (hic) holding my breath, trying to get rid of them since lunch. They just won't ..." A pause, and a frown. "Stop." Hic. "Dammit!"
"As fun as it might be, watching you experience your own private hell, I'm afraid I just can't do it anymore. I have been here for many, many hours, and I don't care to count them, Christina, understand? - the point is, I'm so very tired, and if I don't get at least five minutes here, if I have to hear that noise - that sad, wheezing noise - one more time ... well, I am going to kill someone. You have driven me to the brink of murder, Newbie, so do what you have to: breathe into a paper bag, hold your breath until your face turns blue - hell, drown yourself if you must, but please, don't make me kill. I'm not sure any jury would acquit a madman blathering about Newbies and hiccups." He pauses. "Then again, we could just enter you as defense exhibit A, couldn't we? It might not get a not guilty verdict, but it sure would make for one hell of a Law and Order episode." He lies back down and hears the scrape of a chair against tile, a shuffle of papers, and footsteps walking out the door as Newbie leaves, hiccupping all the way.
*snerk*
(2dozenowies table here)