(no subject)
So. I was driving home and listening to The Dresden Dolls, and I realized something. As much as I tried to tell myself that I was better than every other guy, as much as I tried to believe that I was... I dunno... above?... all those idiots from Lakeside, I realized that I wasn't, really. I, like all those silly little boys, went through my sex phase. The phase where all I wanted from a girl was sex, and if they didn't want to give it to me? I dropped them, pretty much immediately. Annoying thing? I hurt some really awesome girls in pursuit of that.
Jessica: I spent a year going after her, off-and-on. I would hug her close in P.E., hang out with her, all of that. I even endured a personality that really annoyed me, because I knew that I had a good chance of getting to have sex with her. Well, graduation rolled around, and we went back to my place beforehand. I did my best to seduce her (I think we were watching either Moulin Rouge or High Fidelity), and partially succeeded. I told her I wanted her, and asked her if she wanted me. She said yes, but not right then, but that she enjoyed kissing me, and that I was a good kisser. So, I played along for the rest of the time we spent that day, kissing her, holding her, etc., but ditched her pretty much the second I got back to the school.
Becky: I liked her. I didn't think I had a chance with her, but I got lucky. She was way cute, and had a wonderful personality, and I knew, deep down, I'd never get into her pants. I tried anyway, and got... to a point. But she wouldn't let me go too far, and so when Wendy came along, a girl my age, and told me she didn't like and was jealous of Becky, well, I figured "Which girl would be more likely to give me sex?" I covered that up with things like "Well, I can see Wendy more than I can see Becky" and "I've loved Wendy for three years - she's my dream girl!" But, really, it was the opportunity for sex, and I wanted to have sex with Wendy.
Wendy: I was with the girl of my dreams, and if I just held on long enough, I was sure she'd finally go all the way with me. So I held on... for about two weeks. She had to go for a family reunion thing, and I made myself believe she didn't want to be with me, and, deep down, made myself believe I'd never get her into my bed. So Lisette came along, and I broke it off with Wendy shortly after she came back from her family reunion. At the time, you know what was the worst part? She was dressed so sexily, I just wanted to change my mind. Real worst part? I made her cry, and hurt her, and I still regret it to this day.
Lisette: Finally, with Lisette, I got it. I was her first time, and either I (less likely), or the fact that she'd been so repressed (most likely) turned her into a bit of a sex kitten. She wasn't inventive or sultry, but, she wanted it, all the time. Unfortunately, our 6 month relationship was basically built all on sex, so, naturally, it fell apart. Annoying thing? At this point, I have no remorse, and I'm unsure if I would've done things differently. See? I can be pig-headed, quite often.
So... yeah. I went through that phase, and I kinda hate myself for it. I don't agonize over it, or think I should be eternally punished for it, but I wish I hadn't hurt those girls. They deserved better treatment, and I took them for granted. So, to all of you, I'm sorry. I know most of you have forgiven me, but, still, I am sorry.
In other news, I'm hyper and in a fantastic mood and I don't know why. ^___^
Jessica: I spent a year going after her, off-and-on. I would hug her close in P.E., hang out with her, all of that. I even endured a personality that really annoyed me, because I knew that I had a good chance of getting to have sex with her. Well, graduation rolled around, and we went back to my place beforehand. I did my best to seduce her (I think we were watching either Moulin Rouge or High Fidelity), and partially succeeded. I told her I wanted her, and asked her if she wanted me. She said yes, but not right then, but that she enjoyed kissing me, and that I was a good kisser. So, I played along for the rest of the time we spent that day, kissing her, holding her, etc., but ditched her pretty much the second I got back to the school.
Becky: I liked her. I didn't think I had a chance with her, but I got lucky. She was way cute, and had a wonderful personality, and I knew, deep down, I'd never get into her pants. I tried anyway, and got... to a point. But she wouldn't let me go too far, and so when Wendy came along, a girl my age, and told me she didn't like and was jealous of Becky, well, I figured "Which girl would be more likely to give me sex?" I covered that up with things like "Well, I can see Wendy more than I can see Becky" and "I've loved Wendy for three years - she's my dream girl!" But, really, it was the opportunity for sex, and I wanted to have sex with Wendy.
Wendy: I was with the girl of my dreams, and if I just held on long enough, I was sure she'd finally go all the way with me. So I held on... for about two weeks. She had to go for a family reunion thing, and I made myself believe she didn't want to be with me, and, deep down, made myself believe I'd never get her into my bed. So Lisette came along, and I broke it off with Wendy shortly after she came back from her family reunion. At the time, you know what was the worst part? She was dressed so sexily, I just wanted to change my mind. Real worst part? I made her cry, and hurt her, and I still regret it to this day.
Lisette: Finally, with Lisette, I got it. I was her first time, and either I (less likely), or the fact that she'd been so repressed (most likely) turned her into a bit of a sex kitten. She wasn't inventive or sultry, but, she wanted it, all the time. Unfortunately, our 6 month relationship was basically built all on sex, so, naturally, it fell apart. Annoying thing? At this point, I have no remorse, and I'm unsure if I would've done things differently. See? I can be pig-headed, quite often.
So... yeah. I went through that phase, and I kinda hate myself for it. I don't agonize over it, or think I should be eternally punished for it, but I wish I hadn't hurt those girls. They deserved better treatment, and I took them for granted. So, to all of you, I'm sorry. I know most of you have forgiven me, but, still, I am sorry.
In other news, I'm hyper and in a fantastic mood and I don't know why. ^___^