there's a war inside of me...sunshine is days away i know i won't be saved i know all the words
..............
*sighs*
She wrote on the back of her hand, "Whatever automates your faders."
The next day it was still there, but faded.
She passed me a note in class to say goodbye today.
She smiles at me a lot.
Does she smile at everybody like that maybe?
This is not how I smile at everyone I see.
The note said, "Hey I have to go to a final but I hope we can hang out again someday."
"Someday" is kinda the bleh part (like you mean in a couple months???) but the rest was nice.
I wrote back, "OK good luck see you Tuesday." Then I scribbled in the upper right corner clearly marking it as a nervous afterthought, or rather a nervous confession, "I enjoy your company."
Which is the lamest thing I could've written...
But she smiled and nodded back to me.
Then she said goodbye to everyone in the class as she left and turned to leave.
Then at the door she turned to smile back to me.
And maybe she was happy to see that I was watching her walk away.
Now I remember !@* pointing out the words tattooed on her red Converses.
She sees sound waves coming out of people's mouths.
She wishes she could just touch paper and words would come out of her fingertips.
Maybe it's more fun to leave it up in the air.
But maybe time is of the essence.
This is not how I smile at everyone I see.
Did I mention I'm so fucking nervous?
What if she's surprised when I ask if she's seeing anybody?
The possible reasons she would be surprised have potentially fatal risks.
......................
*sighs*
I'm going to die.
And at least I finally turned thirteen.
*sighs*
She wrote on the back of her hand, "Whatever automates your faders."
The next day it was still there, but faded.
She passed me a note in class to say goodbye today.
She smiles at me a lot.
Does she smile at everybody like that maybe?
This is not how I smile at everyone I see.
The note said, "Hey I have to go to a final but I hope we can hang out again someday."
"Someday" is kinda the bleh part (like you mean in a couple months???) but the rest was nice.
I wrote back, "OK good luck see you Tuesday." Then I scribbled in the upper right corner clearly marking it as a nervous afterthought, or rather a nervous confession, "I enjoy your company."
Which is the lamest thing I could've written...
But she smiled and nodded back to me.
Then she said goodbye to everyone in the class as she left and turned to leave.
Then at the door she turned to smile back to me.
And maybe she was happy to see that I was watching her walk away.
Now I remember !@* pointing out the words tattooed on her red Converses.
She sees sound waves coming out of people's mouths.
She wishes she could just touch paper and words would come out of her fingertips.
Maybe it's more fun to leave it up in the air.
But maybe time is of the essence.
This is not how I smile at everyone I see.
Did I mention I'm so fucking nervous?
What if she's surprised when I ask if she's seeing anybody?
The possible reasons she would be surprised have potentially fatal risks.
......................
*sighs*
I'm going to die.
And at least I finally turned thirteen.