she's a humdinger, folk singer
I put on my vest and returned to Valley National Bank this Saturday. In between helping customers and reading chapters of the Centaur, I decided to compile descriptions of my coworkers:
Joe
A multimillionaire at the age of thirty-five, Joe has amassed his wealth from years of playing poker. His job at the bank is to cover health care and keep him occupied. He explains that the boredom he faced two years ago when he decided to stay home and play the riveting game of cards for a year was enough to convince him he needed a second job. He plans to retire next January and move with his wife to Costa Rica. He is also the owner of a pitch perfect Mickey Mouse voice that he uses to recite complete acts from Shakespeare's Hamlet and King Lear.
Waldilene
Our Brazilian export that met her husband over the internet, Waldamine has over one hundred pairs of shoes. Before taking the job at Valley she worked at Macy’s where she was known as the queen of Macy’s charge card referrals. She agrees with me that unlike watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on television, watching the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks on television is a rather pointless form of entertainment. Still adjusting to Eastern Standard Time, Waldamine has her husband take sleeping pills so they can fall asleep together at nine o’clock.
Meeghan
The poster child of the Irish sweetheart, Meeghan sells Mary Kay cosmetics on the side and enjoys the shimmering effect of body glitter. She is still suffering from the recent death of her two birds that died under the talons of her third chirping friend. As bank manager she is the head of the branch which eventually caused a rift between her and Andrew (see below). Andrew eventually quit and filed a sexual harassment charge against her. Meeghan is also a self proclaimed germ freak who keeps a large variety of cleaning fluids and germ killing sprays at arms reach.
Andrew
A Mathew Broderick look-a-like, Andrew shares with me a love of chick peas and audio cassette tapes. A devoted fan of Gwen Stefani and the Backstreet Boys, he has a preference for the 1990's. This summer he suffered a nervous breakdown after thinking he lost five thousand dollars only to find he hadn’t made a cash transfer slip. He is currently seeking employment at the Bank of America. You will be missed Andrew. You will be missed.
If anything I can say that Valley National Bank has prepared me for the diversity of college life. I wish I could make stuff like this up. Please feel free to share the profiles of your favorite co-workers.
On a side note I had a customer today with the first name Saline. Man that's bloody brilliant.
Joe
A multimillionaire at the age of thirty-five, Joe has amassed his wealth from years of playing poker. His job at the bank is to cover health care and keep him occupied. He explains that the boredom he faced two years ago when he decided to stay home and play the riveting game of cards for a year was enough to convince him he needed a second job. He plans to retire next January and move with his wife to Costa Rica. He is also the owner of a pitch perfect Mickey Mouse voice that he uses to recite complete acts from Shakespeare's Hamlet and King Lear.
Waldilene
Our Brazilian export that met her husband over the internet, Waldamine has over one hundred pairs of shoes. Before taking the job at Valley she worked at Macy’s where she was known as the queen of Macy’s charge card referrals. She agrees with me that unlike watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on television, watching the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks on television is a rather pointless form of entertainment. Still adjusting to Eastern Standard Time, Waldamine has her husband take sleeping pills so they can fall asleep together at nine o’clock.
Meeghan
The poster child of the Irish sweetheart, Meeghan sells Mary Kay cosmetics on the side and enjoys the shimmering effect of body glitter. She is still suffering from the recent death of her two birds that died under the talons of her third chirping friend. As bank manager she is the head of the branch which eventually caused a rift between her and Andrew (see below). Andrew eventually quit and filed a sexual harassment charge against her. Meeghan is also a self proclaimed germ freak who keeps a large variety of cleaning fluids and germ killing sprays at arms reach.
Andrew
A Mathew Broderick look-a-like, Andrew shares with me a love of chick peas and audio cassette tapes. A devoted fan of Gwen Stefani and the Backstreet Boys, he has a preference for the 1990's. This summer he suffered a nervous breakdown after thinking he lost five thousand dollars only to find he hadn’t made a cash transfer slip. He is currently seeking employment at the Bank of America. You will be missed Andrew. You will be missed.
If anything I can say that Valley National Bank has prepared me for the diversity of college life. I wish I could make stuff like this up. Please feel free to share the profiles of your favorite co-workers.
On a side note I had a customer today with the first name Saline. Man that's bloody brilliant.