(no subject)
i need to vent. i dont want to write it down because i just wrote a journal. i dont want to talk to my friends about it because its 2am and they are porbably all sleeping.
im so confused.
god dammit. this is what i hate.
i hate how you can get me worked up and give me butterflies all in the same second.
you are everything that i hate in guys and everything that i love. i just dont get it.
i dont get how i dont see what everyone else does. i see you. i see the good side of you. i make up excuses for you all the time. this is what the third time that we have tried doing this? you think that i would learn but i just become more immune to it.
no one understands. no one. or maybe everyone does and i just dont want to believe them.
becuas ei want to be with someone and i want to be with you.
you make me happy.
you piss me off.
whenever you call me baby i cant help but smile.
can you just fuck up or do somethign compeltely amazing so i can figure out which way to go.
because right now we are in a rut. do you not see it baby? we are in a rut.
how can it go form being so good to soo bad and then back again?
i hate these feelings.
i hate seeing you upset and i would do anything to make you happy....
am i a priority?
i hate your drinking and i hate your other friends who are girls.
im sure you hate my loudness and me talking about other guys because i know it pisses you off.
lets stop playing games.
please?
please stop them. learn how to have a girlfriend. i get it. your last relationship was a shitty one but learn from it dont become a shittier person.
but your not a shitty person. are you?
GOD DAMMIT.
im so on and off with you. i go from hating you to loving you in less than a moment.
you love me. youve told me. tell me again. i need to hear it now.
i need it to not be awkward.
no awkwardness.
can i see you tomorrow? please? because i miss you.
dont come over.
im so confused.
god dammit. this is what i hate.
i hate how you can get me worked up and give me butterflies all in the same second.
you are everything that i hate in guys and everything that i love. i just dont get it.
i dont get how i dont see what everyone else does. i see you. i see the good side of you. i make up excuses for you all the time. this is what the third time that we have tried doing this? you think that i would learn but i just become more immune to it.
no one understands. no one. or maybe everyone does and i just dont want to believe them.
becuas ei want to be with someone and i want to be with you.
you make me happy.
you piss me off.
whenever you call me baby i cant help but smile.
can you just fuck up or do somethign compeltely amazing so i can figure out which way to go.
because right now we are in a rut. do you not see it baby? we are in a rut.
how can it go form being so good to soo bad and then back again?
i hate these feelings.
i hate seeing you upset and i would do anything to make you happy....
am i a priority?
i hate your drinking and i hate your other friends who are girls.
im sure you hate my loudness and me talking about other guys because i know it pisses you off.
lets stop playing games.
please?
please stop them. learn how to have a girlfriend. i get it. your last relationship was a shitty one but learn from it dont become a shittier person.
but your not a shitty person. are you?
GOD DAMMIT.
im so on and off with you. i go from hating you to loving you in less than a moment.
you love me. youve told me. tell me again. i need to hear it now.
i need it to not be awkward.
no awkwardness.
can i see you tomorrow? please? because i miss you.
dont come over.