nothing worth saying this morning

[rockergrl180]

i went to bed, woke up, and still feel horrified and humiliated... and i'm revelling in it. i can feel all of that horrible emotion residing somewhere in my head, and it's like i just want it to eat me alive. i want it to suck out my blood and eat up everything and swallow me, change me into something hard and smooth like muscle or ice. i want to reawaken as someone different. crysalisis. start as a caterpillar, turn into a butterfly.

i want to see bone. and even though i'm not crying, something has definitely shifted out of my control.