Mar 15, 2006 10:59
So yeah, nothing is happening here.....nothing at all....
Halloran isnt here and neither is aly, the girl i work with, and theres onlt one parent here. i love the cav center, so peaceful with its constant sound of key boards...
How did i end up here? I mean i should be really busy working on stuff, but im not. I did my play thing already. I have my paper done, which i guess is more than I can say for other people.
This is a really cool song, that is also very random, I'm still trying to think of a celebrity that this could go to...suggestions???
The credits roll, the camera pans
And in the mist our hero stands
He starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayer
An awkward pause, then what's my line?
There's nothing left to say this time
And what would you say to a bad guy who's not there?
In terms of Roman numberals,
He's IV league with Roman Polanski
He'd win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance
He started on the Broadway stage
A product of another age,
An offer and a pilot drew him west
The series bombed, commercials came
And though nobody knew his name
They all recognized the potential he possessed
Deodorants and dental floss
And how much does that new car cost
His acting was methodical in You Don't Need A Medical
He's branded like a racing car,
He's like a movie star with movies
The week of Independence Day,
The casting agent called to say
Your smile could save our movie and the world
Buy buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
How well you learn
To not discern
Who's foe and who is friend
We'll own them all in the end
It goes like this, we have no choice; the minarets,
The wailing voice
And vaguely Celtic music fills the air
We choose a foreigner to hate,
The new Iraq gets more irate
We really know nothing about them, and no one cares
Aladdin and the forty thieves
Enhanced by brand new special effects
Saddam and his cow disease spiced up
With some gratuitous sex
A movie's made, a war is won
A low-speed chase, a smoking gun
Distracts us while the actor takes the stand
Buy buy buy buy
Sell sell sell
How well you learn
To not discern
Who's foe and who is friend
We'll own them all in the end
Barenaked Ladies is the best.
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here come's Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It's like "When Animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver
They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts
It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awsulf brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter fued
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer
"Baby, Iv'e been sleepin' with your sister."
"ah? well which one?"
"All of 'em"
"yeah? well, Iv'e been sleeping with your best friend Jay!!"
"yeah? well, well, me too!"
"ah!"
"AND!! Iv'e been sleeping with your dog woofie!!"
"WOOFIE!! you bitch!! well, I'm also sleeping wiht your pet goat!!"
"that goat doesnt belong to you!"
Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one
It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys
Three days wince he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger
No that wasn't barenaked Ladies, that was Wierd Al.