40 years and counting
Triple H's 40th Birthday
PG-13 for suggestive language
Basically guys being guys and giving each other bullshit using offensive remarks
Disclaimer: Not owning anything, no profit, wwe owned
-----
“I bet you that he can’t eat that entire thing in one bite,” John said to Dave while looking at the giant cupcake that Vince had given Hunter for his birthday instead of a traditional cake.
“No bet, if he eats that entire thing however in two- I’ll blow him and you,” Dave retorted.
“I like slow and steady,” John replied sticking out his hand for Dave to shake.
“Good, I like fast and to be deep throated,” Dave answered.
John snickered, “So I guess that’s my payment if I lose.”
“That or you have to let Randy fuck you with a strap on.”
John cringed, “I’ll blow you, Hunter, and Vince first.”
“Thought as much.”
“Dude are you both betting on him eating that monster?” Randy asked, “’Cause seriously, I could eat that entire thing whole- no problem.”
“We know,” they replied in unison.
“We have eaten with you before,” Dave reminded him.
“Yea, it’s kind of like watching lion devouring a zebra- only the zebra’s rotting flesh being surrounded by flies looking for some extra pickings is far more attractive than you after you’ve been served steak,” John told him sipping his beer.
“Asshole.”
“You rang?” a voice called out walking towards t hem dressed to the nine’s in a fancy outfit, nice jeans, and a killer cowboy hat.
“Not this time, Shawn. You can get blown next birthday,” Dave informed him with a smirk.
“Glad, we’re a bunch a homos around here,” He answered laughing, Shawn then grabbed a chair and watched Hunter finally free himself from the clutches of Vince’s arm.
He then marched over to them and took the spare seat still holding the giant cupcake.
“We already ate ours, what the fuck you waiting for man?” John asked him.
Hunter snorted looking over his shoulder to make sure there was ample space between himself and the chairman, “Vince being far enough away so that he doesn’t invoke my gag reflex.”
Randy snorted despite the fact that often he didn’t like the guy all that much.
“Just so you know, they have money riding on your devouring skills,” Shawn informed him before taking a sip of water.
“Oh really? Should I make a show of this or some shit?” Hunter inquired trying not to crack up.
“I’d lick it,” Randy added, “And then maybe if you’re trying to get laid, go home with a good finger licking too.”
Dave glared, way for Randy to intentionally try and sabotage his chances at winning. And as if Randy knew that Dave knew, he smirked in his direction and gave John a wink.
Hunter shrugged and then stuffed half of it in his mouth, he quickly bit it off and finished the second a moment later.
“God damn it!” John shouted slamming his fist on the folding table causing it to jerk and rumble.
Hunter laughed amused, “So who just won?”
“Dave,” they all replied.
Randy sighed, “I knew you shouldn’t have bet against him.”
“You weren’t even here for the bet, you jackass,” Dave replied.
Randy rolled his eyes and started licking the frosting left on his own fingers, “Yea but even I know you eat with Dave when Shawn isn’t around. I knew the stakes already.”
John pulled out a twenty and slapped it in front of Dave.
“What, no more blow job, sweetheart?”
“Bite me,” John retorted.
“I’ll take that offer if he doesn’t,” Randy joked leaning back.
“Bet Sam would love that,” Dave answered.
“Eh, she’d get over it.”
“My old lady most certainly would not get over it and we just got married. Sam would neuter you,” John added.
“Least it’ll keep him from procreating again,” Shawn snickered causing Randy to glare at him.
With that said, Dave held up his wine glass, “So uh here’s to Hunter, happy 40th birthday, may you get a lot of sex- and away from these freaks of nature and their very fucked up sense of humor.”
“Amen,” Hunter replied clanking his water glass against Dave’s.
“And you call me an asshole?” Randy remarked gulping his drink down in one sitting.
“Yes.”
“You do realize how wrong this conversation is…?” John asked the others after a minute, “I mean not only are we supposed to hate each other but joking in such a foul manner…”
“Don’t worry if any members of your fanclub are here, we’ll just explain that when they’re older and they get passed puberty, they too will be the same way- shameless, disgusting, a closet gay man, and be insane,” Hunter said cleaning off his candles.
“You’re no longer the king asshole, Randy,” John said looking at Hunter with a fake glare.
“So for your birthday gift…” Shawn started.
Hunter smirked and placed his hand on Shawn’s, “Where and what time?”
The others started dry coughing.
Shawn laughed and removed his hand, “Noon… my place?”
“I’ll be there.”
With that they both moved to stand up.
“So I’m getting the hell outta here before Stephanie decides to embarrass me, anyone actually have something to add that isn’t absolutely wrong no matter which way you analyze it?” Hunter asked the others.
“You already got your gift from me,” Dave answered.
“Happy Birthday, go get her pregnant again?” Randy said not really interested in saying much else to him.
“I got you somethin’- I’ll drop it off in the morning when I’m more sober,” John told him.
“Great- I’m out- Shawn?”
Shawn followed behind him.
“Guys will be guys,” Shawn said shaking his head, “You think any of them have done another before?”
“Maybe Dave.”
“Is that why we like him more because he doesn’t make too much of a joke out of it?”
Hunter shrugged, “So that gift- please tell me it involves you in a thong…”
PG-13 for suggestive language
Basically guys being guys and giving each other bullshit using offensive remarks
Disclaimer: Not owning anything, no profit, wwe owned
-----
“I bet you that he can’t eat that entire thing in one bite,” John said to Dave while looking at the giant cupcake that Vince had given Hunter for his birthday instead of a traditional cake.
“No bet, if he eats that entire thing however in two- I’ll blow him and you,” Dave retorted.
“I like slow and steady,” John replied sticking out his hand for Dave to shake.
“Good, I like fast and to be deep throated,” Dave answered.
John snickered, “So I guess that’s my payment if I lose.”
“That or you have to let Randy fuck you with a strap on.”
John cringed, “I’ll blow you, Hunter, and Vince first.”
“Thought as much.”
“Dude are you both betting on him eating that monster?” Randy asked, “’Cause seriously, I could eat that entire thing whole- no problem.”
“We know,” they replied in unison.
“We have eaten with you before,” Dave reminded him.
“Yea, it’s kind of like watching lion devouring a zebra- only the zebra’s rotting flesh being surrounded by flies looking for some extra pickings is far more attractive than you after you’ve been served steak,” John told him sipping his beer.
“Asshole.”
“You rang?” a voice called out walking towards t hem dressed to the nine’s in a fancy outfit, nice jeans, and a killer cowboy hat.
“Not this time, Shawn. You can get blown next birthday,” Dave informed him with a smirk.
“Glad, we’re a bunch a homos around here,” He answered laughing, Shawn then grabbed a chair and watched Hunter finally free himself from the clutches of Vince’s arm.
He then marched over to them and took the spare seat still holding the giant cupcake.
“We already ate ours, what the fuck you waiting for man?” John asked him.
Hunter snorted looking over his shoulder to make sure there was ample space between himself and the chairman, “Vince being far enough away so that he doesn’t invoke my gag reflex.”
Randy snorted despite the fact that often he didn’t like the guy all that much.
“Just so you know, they have money riding on your devouring skills,” Shawn informed him before taking a sip of water.
“Oh really? Should I make a show of this or some shit?” Hunter inquired trying not to crack up.
“I’d lick it,” Randy added, “And then maybe if you’re trying to get laid, go home with a good finger licking too.”
Dave glared, way for Randy to intentionally try and sabotage his chances at winning. And as if Randy knew that Dave knew, he smirked in his direction and gave John a wink.
Hunter shrugged and then stuffed half of it in his mouth, he quickly bit it off and finished the second a moment later.
“God damn it!” John shouted slamming his fist on the folding table causing it to jerk and rumble.
Hunter laughed amused, “So who just won?”
“Dave,” they all replied.
Randy sighed, “I knew you shouldn’t have bet against him.”
“You weren’t even here for the bet, you jackass,” Dave replied.
Randy rolled his eyes and started licking the frosting left on his own fingers, “Yea but even I know you eat with Dave when Shawn isn’t around. I knew the stakes already.”
John pulled out a twenty and slapped it in front of Dave.
“What, no more blow job, sweetheart?”
“Bite me,” John retorted.
“I’ll take that offer if he doesn’t,” Randy joked leaning back.
“Bet Sam would love that,” Dave answered.
“Eh, she’d get over it.”
“My old lady most certainly would not get over it and we just got married. Sam would neuter you,” John added.
“Least it’ll keep him from procreating again,” Shawn snickered causing Randy to glare at him.
With that said, Dave held up his wine glass, “So uh here’s to Hunter, happy 40th birthday, may you get a lot of sex- and away from these freaks of nature and their very fucked up sense of humor.”
“Amen,” Hunter replied clanking his water glass against Dave’s.
“And you call me an asshole?” Randy remarked gulping his drink down in one sitting.
“Yes.”
“You do realize how wrong this conversation is…?” John asked the others after a minute, “I mean not only are we supposed to hate each other but joking in such a foul manner…”
“Don’t worry if any members of your fanclub are here, we’ll just explain that when they’re older and they get passed puberty, they too will be the same way- shameless, disgusting, a closet gay man, and be insane,” Hunter said cleaning off his candles.
“You’re no longer the king asshole, Randy,” John said looking at Hunter with a fake glare.
“So for your birthday gift…” Shawn started.
Hunter smirked and placed his hand on Shawn’s, “Where and what time?”
The others started dry coughing.
Shawn laughed and removed his hand, “Noon… my place?”
“I’ll be there.”
With that they both moved to stand up.
“So I’m getting the hell outta here before Stephanie decides to embarrass me, anyone actually have something to add that isn’t absolutely wrong no matter which way you analyze it?” Hunter asked the others.
“You already got your gift from me,” Dave answered.
“Happy Birthday, go get her pregnant again?” Randy said not really interested in saying much else to him.
“I got you somethin’- I’ll drop it off in the morning when I’m more sober,” John told him.
“Great- I’m out- Shawn?”
Shawn followed behind him.
“Guys will be guys,” Shawn said shaking his head, “You think any of them have done another before?”
“Maybe Dave.”
“Is that why we like him more because he doesn’t make too much of a joke out of it?”
Hunter shrugged, “So that gift- please tell me it involves you in a thong…”