(no subject)
i just looked at brians myspace. everything about me in every category is gone now. it hurts me a lot to see that. more then i can describe. it gives me more of a mind to think that once i move back down in about 2 months he wont take me back like he said he prolly would. i loved him more then anything. i gave him everything i had to give. its like...he was the one not give'n his all....to anything but playin halo. it makes me want to rip myself apart tear out the insides and throw them in his face and be like "maybe now you can see how much you meant to me n how much u fuckin hurt me"...fer real.
but i am promise'n not to become any more emo then i have been over this. thats causing me more problems.
i just want to scream until my lungs bleed. && cry until my eyeballs fall out in spule'n tears. dammit.
i can not wait until i move out of this town.
that will be a start to a better me.
even if he wont take me back it will still be so much better then being here.
i have not talked to him since i saw that. not like he ever actually replies to me im jus sayin i aint IMd him. i did leave him a comment in response tho.
just like im erased from his life all together. just dont get what changed so much.
ill sacrifice myself for him to be happy. like if its without me n has nuthin to do w/ me then if hes happy im glad. because i love him enough to do that.
but i am promise'n not to become any more emo then i have been over this. thats causing me more problems.
i just want to scream until my lungs bleed. && cry until my eyeballs fall out in spule'n tears. dammit.
i can not wait until i move out of this town.
that will be a start to a better me.
even if he wont take me back it will still be so much better then being here.
i have not talked to him since i saw that. not like he ever actually replies to me im jus sayin i aint IMd him. i did leave him a comment in response tho.
just like im erased from his life all together. just dont get what changed so much.
ill sacrifice myself for him to be happy. like if its without me n has nuthin to do w/ me then if hes happy im glad. because i love him enough to do that.