You Became A Stranger To Me, The Second You Forgot Me.
So this past weekend has been ... weird, sad, just w/e odd.
I still feel empty, betrayed, mainly just empty.
I'm now more insecure than i have ever been in my life.
I had a nightmare last night, i woke up and felt like punching a wall,
but i cant do that since well my hand already hurts.
you know i think that in my life duh ive felt down and "depressed" and sad, and pain and loss,
but i dont think that ive felt like true sadness, like just sad... i had no other choice but to just let it go, but
the fact is that I was let down... and I'm Sad.
Anyway off to a better subject...
Yesterday I went xmas shopping and i had fun, i left my house $900 rich and came back broke haha.
I was spoiled by someone to the point that it made me feel quite uncomfortable... maybe because im just not used to that.
like it was [to me] pretty extreme spoilness, am i complaining? no i dont think i am, i mean who would complain about being spoiled right? but still i think some of you can understand what i mean. I'm used to becoming satisfied with w/e i can get, but to like get exactly everything i want at that exact moment, ive never had that and it feels weird, it even feels wrong to me.
but no dont worry im happy.
anyway, WHAT IS IT THAT NIKKI LOVES MOST? getting ppl stuff! hee hee =] and im really happy that this yr finally i got to get everyone i love something for xmas, and not just this little something, i got to get them what i think will make them happy.
Oh and i must say... i saw something for Xandra and yes even though i'm supposed to buy my friends gifts after xmas, but i saw it well tony did but still and i had to get it... i thought tis was cool =)
Thatisall... Nikki
P.S. can someone knock the xmas spirit into me... because i'm not feeling it.
::this song makes me feel sad [insecure] i dont know why::
I study up my hollow
Piece of wood to follow
A day that doesn't come
To the lucky
And I realize there's tomorrow
But I would rather wallow
In the rain then moods that seem
So pot-lucky
Well I'm cruising El Paseo
In my off-white coup back '65
Or I'm cruisin down my own street
And my hooptie says to me
You better hang on to your bench seat
I'm gonna take you for a ride
And I'll let you know
When it comes, when it comes
I'll let you know
But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home
So I wait for fate to find me
A ball of string unwind me
Uncomfortable as a centerfold
And I realize your behind me
To help and humankind me
To see my songs can be retold
Well I'll be gone tomorrow
Yes I'm on the road tomorrow
So next time that I see you in school
It won't be for too long
And I'll let you know
When it comes, when it comes
I'll let you know
But don't stay up for me
Don't wait up for me
If I'm not home
And I want a leather jacket
But only if I have the time
Well, I'll comb my hair like Elvis
And grab an old Gretch 59
And you'd hardly recognize me if you
Saw me from behind