(no subject)
I can't sleep...again. I swear I've tried so many things to try to get myself to sleep...nothing really works. :(
I think that I've actually seen the sun come up for the past 4 days in a row. This is bad since I have to be somewhere at 8 AM...and morning traffic is a bitch. I must leave my house by 7:15 AM to be there on time. School is freaking 20-25 minutes away...with no traffic...just because the stupid place isn't near the freeway. What a pain in my ass.
I think that my body hates me too...just to top everything off. Agh.
I attribute all of this to my stupid emo mood lately...
But to make me feel better...I've been knitting. Sure I've messed up and it's not a project I'm super excited about, but it's something that has helped me feel a bit more calm.
Sadness Finals week is dwindling down...which means we are so much closer to graduations and people leaving... this makes me sad and happy. I'm happy for everyone graduating, but it feels like my network of people that I've made...it's almost crumbling. I love the people I work with and see daily...they make school pretty damn pleasant and interesting. They've become my family... haha. So many things going on...and tomorrow is our End of the year party. I'm excited! haha. But it's so bittersweet. I got close to them within the last semester... Sigh We're all moving on...that's all that keeps coming to my mind. But I guess it's for a good reason...or a good thing.
I've been missing the playoffs...but hey, the Lakers are definitely, hands down, going to dominate the western conference, as usual. haha. The east is the only competition we have. I'm sorry Utah...I love you, but alas, you were no match.
GO LAKERS
And so the shit talking begins with my nephew (my third cousin). haha.
I got asked so many questions today...about how I feel, how things are going, who helps me, etc etc. I swear it felt like a checklist of my life. haha. I guess sometimes those questions need to be asked in order to truly see what you have and who actively participates in your life. The path of life and the path to believing you're actually finding yourself...crazy, but worth it when the people you love love you in return. Sure it may not always seem like love, but people do love you...in their own peculiar ways. haha.
On another note, I always wonder...for people who continuously go out...do you ever just get tired of being out? Of trying to be fake? Of actually being fake? Ever feel like it's all a blur? Ever stop to think you hate the way you're living and it's just passing time because you're too scared to find yourself? Things I wonder when people tell me they're going out night after night... and on top of that... drinking. Drinking until they're so buzzed they get a hang over the next day or they're too plastered to drive home. Drinking just leads to feeling worse about yourself or the situation you're in...which is why I never understood why people drank when they were upset. I honestly, would just take a walk or go to the park or something... but it's just interesting I assume.
Although, this all could be because I am not the most social person in the world, but it's usually because I'm shy and my intuition about people is mostly right.
Anyway...time to read Bleach and hopefully sleep...
I think that I've actually seen the sun come up for the past 4 days in a row. This is bad since I have to be somewhere at 8 AM...and morning traffic is a bitch. I must leave my house by 7:15 AM to be there on time. School is freaking 20-25 minutes away...with no traffic...just because the stupid place isn't near the freeway. What a pain in my ass.
I think that my body hates me too...just to top everything off. Agh.
I attribute all of this to my stupid emo mood lately...
But to make me feel better...I've been knitting. Sure I've messed up and it's not a project I'm super excited about, but it's something that has helped me feel a bit more calm.
Sadness Finals week is dwindling down...which means we are so much closer to graduations and people leaving... this makes me sad and happy. I'm happy for everyone graduating, but it feels like my network of people that I've made...it's almost crumbling. I love the people I work with and see daily...they make school pretty damn pleasant and interesting. They've become my family... haha. So many things going on...and tomorrow is our End of the year party. I'm excited! haha. But it's so bittersweet. I got close to them within the last semester... Sigh We're all moving on...that's all that keeps coming to my mind. But I guess it's for a good reason...or a good thing.
I've been missing the playoffs...but hey, the Lakers are definitely, hands down, going to dominate the western conference, as usual. haha. The east is the only competition we have. I'm sorry Utah...I love you, but alas, you were no match.
GO LAKERS
And so the shit talking begins with my nephew (my third cousin). haha.
I got asked so many questions today...about how I feel, how things are going, who helps me, etc etc. I swear it felt like a checklist of my life. haha. I guess sometimes those questions need to be asked in order to truly see what you have and who actively participates in your life. The path of life and the path to believing you're actually finding yourself...crazy, but worth it when the people you love love you in return. Sure it may not always seem like love, but people do love you...in their own peculiar ways. haha.
On another note, I always wonder...for people who continuously go out...do you ever just get tired of being out? Of trying to be fake? Of actually being fake? Ever feel like it's all a blur? Ever stop to think you hate the way you're living and it's just passing time because you're too scared to find yourself? Things I wonder when people tell me they're going out night after night... and on top of that... drinking. Drinking until they're so buzzed they get a hang over the next day or they're too plastered to drive home. Drinking just leads to feeling worse about yourself or the situation you're in...which is why I never understood why people drank when they were upset. I honestly, would just take a walk or go to the park or something... but it's just interesting I assume.
Although, this all could be because I am not the most social person in the world, but it's usually because I'm shy and my intuition about people is mostly right.
Anyway...time to read Bleach and hopefully sleep...