Let it rain, let it pour
We had this assigment at school: translate a Hungarian folk tale to English and make it politically correct. Here's mine, I hope you'll like it. I've recently realised that I love creative writing assignments, in fact, I'm working on another piece now.
Sorry for any grammar or other errors.
The aesthetically challenged prince and the visually pleasing princess
Once upon a time, over the hills and several democratic monarchies, there was a not at all tyrannic king. This king was the proud father of a facially gifted daughter, who resembled a star shining bright in the sky. The king of the neighbouring democratic monarchy had a son - his external characteristics were often compared to dark nights, but in the best possible way. This prince heard about the princess and decided to make an inspection of her.
He went to the king’s castle and told him why he paid a visit. The king called her daughter, but as soon as she saw the prince, she exclaimed:
“With all due respect, I would not even have my footwear sanitised by a male individual as aesthetically inferior to me as yourself.”
The views of the princess left the prince blue and he left the castle, but certain chemical reactions in his brain prevented him from excluding her from his thoughts.
“The number of lives I have is limited to the minimum, so I will do everything that is needed to convince this female individual to be my coequal life partner.” He told himself.
So the prince returned to his country and had several useful objects made: a golden hen with twelve chickens, a golden tool specifically made for spinning with golden hemp and a golden mirror, which made the most audibly pleasing music whenever a person looked into it. He then disguised himself and went to work as a multi-faceted assistant in the castle of the father of the princess he wished to become romantically involved with. He placed the various objects made of gold in his room, under his bed.
The next day, he put the golden hen and golden chicken in the middle of the room, where the personal assistant of the princess saw them. She immediately looked for her employer, who had a preference for glitteringly advantaged objects. The princess followed her house helper to the room of the disguised prince and clapped her hands when she noticed the golden hen and chickens.
“Oh, these are highly pleasing for the eye!” The princess said to the assistant. “Please, name a price, it is highly probable we can make a deal.”
“I do not ask for any money, I would only like a kiss from you. Do not consider this as sexual harrasment, but only as a matter of business.” He said.
The princess hesitated for a second, but because she didn’t regard women who made a living in the oldest profession in the world morally challenged, she finally kissed the multi-faceted assistant. Then she collected the golden hen and chickens and returned to her own room.
The following day the disguised prince put the golden tool used for spinning and the golden hemp in the middle of the room, which were seen by the personal assistant of the princess who rushed to her employer once again. When the princess entered the room and laid her eyes on what was in there, she became overly excited.
“What a feast for the eye! Name any price, I’m willing to give anything in return.”
“I don’t need money, all I ask is two kisses.” He replied.
The princess thought about it for a moment, but her views and opinion didn’t change since the previous day, so she kissed him and ran back to her own room.
On the third day the assistant hang the golden mirror on the wall and waited for the princess’ personal assistant to come. She dropped by indeed and when she heard the mirror making the most audibly pleasing music, she hurried to get the princess. They entered the room, but there was silence.
“Look into the mirror, princess.” The multi-faceted assistant said.
She did and the minute the music started she felt a sudden urge to become the owner of that golden mirror. She asked the assistant again what does it cost.
“Three kisses.” He answered.
This time the princess didn’t hesitate, she hugged and kissed him immediately, despite him being aesthetically challenged. Suddenly, the king stepped into the room and when he saw his daughter being facially conjoined with the assistant, he became highly enraged.
“Leave this castle now, if you wish to remain metabolically abled!” He roared.
The princess and the male person left the castle, and although the princess was very sad the disguised prince was happy. They travelled through the countries, until they reached the capital of the democratic monarchy of the prince, where they checked into an accomodation provider facility. He told the princess:
“I need to take actions to preserve my personal hygiene. As a deed of generousity, would you please sanitise my footwear? I’ll have to go into town.”
The princess became conversationally selective and did what she had been asked to do. Meanwhile, the prince returned to his castle to change into some high quality enhanced clothes and by a velvet coach he returned for the princess.
When he appeared in their room, the princess could hardly believe her eyes.
“Do you remember when you said you wouldn’t even have your footwear sanitised by me?” He asked the princess still temporarily in a mental slowness. “Well - and I’m pointing this out only as constructive criticism - I wasn’t that self fixated in that situation, I let you do the same to my footwear.”
“Forget whatever I said, I wish to become your coequal life partner and unpaid sex slave!” She laughed and hugged the prince tightly.
In the court of the king, the wedding was held and the aesthetically challenged prince and the visually pleasing princess lived happily ever after.
A csúnya királyfi és a szép királykisasszony © Elek Benedek
English translation and politically correct version © rockcherry
Sorry for any grammar or other errors.
The aesthetically challenged prince and the visually pleasing princess
Once upon a time, over the hills and several democratic monarchies, there was a not at all tyrannic king. This king was the proud father of a facially gifted daughter, who resembled a star shining bright in the sky. The king of the neighbouring democratic monarchy had a son - his external characteristics were often compared to dark nights, but in the best possible way. This prince heard about the princess and decided to make an inspection of her.
He went to the king’s castle and told him why he paid a visit. The king called her daughter, but as soon as she saw the prince, she exclaimed:
“With all due respect, I would not even have my footwear sanitised by a male individual as aesthetically inferior to me as yourself.”
The views of the princess left the prince blue and he left the castle, but certain chemical reactions in his brain prevented him from excluding her from his thoughts.
“The number of lives I have is limited to the minimum, so I will do everything that is needed to convince this female individual to be my coequal life partner.” He told himself.
So the prince returned to his country and had several useful objects made: a golden hen with twelve chickens, a golden tool specifically made for spinning with golden hemp and a golden mirror, which made the most audibly pleasing music whenever a person looked into it. He then disguised himself and went to work as a multi-faceted assistant in the castle of the father of the princess he wished to become romantically involved with. He placed the various objects made of gold in his room, under his bed.
The next day, he put the golden hen and golden chicken in the middle of the room, where the personal assistant of the princess saw them. She immediately looked for her employer, who had a preference for glitteringly advantaged objects. The princess followed her house helper to the room of the disguised prince and clapped her hands when she noticed the golden hen and chickens.
“Oh, these are highly pleasing for the eye!” The princess said to the assistant. “Please, name a price, it is highly probable we can make a deal.”
“I do not ask for any money, I would only like a kiss from you. Do not consider this as sexual harrasment, but only as a matter of business.” He said.
The princess hesitated for a second, but because she didn’t regard women who made a living in the oldest profession in the world morally challenged, she finally kissed the multi-faceted assistant. Then she collected the golden hen and chickens and returned to her own room.
The following day the disguised prince put the golden tool used for spinning and the golden hemp in the middle of the room, which were seen by the personal assistant of the princess who rushed to her employer once again. When the princess entered the room and laid her eyes on what was in there, she became overly excited.
“What a feast for the eye! Name any price, I’m willing to give anything in return.”
“I don’t need money, all I ask is two kisses.” He replied.
The princess thought about it for a moment, but her views and opinion didn’t change since the previous day, so she kissed him and ran back to her own room.
On the third day the assistant hang the golden mirror on the wall and waited for the princess’ personal assistant to come. She dropped by indeed and when she heard the mirror making the most audibly pleasing music, she hurried to get the princess. They entered the room, but there was silence.
“Look into the mirror, princess.” The multi-faceted assistant said.
She did and the minute the music started she felt a sudden urge to become the owner of that golden mirror. She asked the assistant again what does it cost.
“Three kisses.” He answered.
This time the princess didn’t hesitate, she hugged and kissed him immediately, despite him being aesthetically challenged. Suddenly, the king stepped into the room and when he saw his daughter being facially conjoined with the assistant, he became highly enraged.
“Leave this castle now, if you wish to remain metabolically abled!” He roared.
The princess and the male person left the castle, and although the princess was very sad the disguised prince was happy. They travelled through the countries, until they reached the capital of the democratic monarchy of the prince, where they checked into an accomodation provider facility. He told the princess:
“I need to take actions to preserve my personal hygiene. As a deed of generousity, would you please sanitise my footwear? I’ll have to go into town.”
The princess became conversationally selective and did what she had been asked to do. Meanwhile, the prince returned to his castle to change into some high quality enhanced clothes and by a velvet coach he returned for the princess.
When he appeared in their room, the princess could hardly believe her eyes.
“Do you remember when you said you wouldn’t even have your footwear sanitised by me?” He asked the princess still temporarily in a mental slowness. “Well - and I’m pointing this out only as constructive criticism - I wasn’t that self fixated in that situation, I let you do the same to my footwear.”
“Forget whatever I said, I wish to become your coequal life partner and unpaid sex slave!” She laughed and hugged the prince tightly.
In the court of the king, the wedding was held and the aesthetically challenged prince and the visually pleasing princess lived happily ever after.
A csúnya királyfi és a szép királykisasszony © Elek Benedek
English translation and politically correct version © rockcherry