throwing stones while living in glass houses [3/3]
Occasionally, Park Chanyeol forgets the perks of being a Saint member. Since it has become his new life, he hadn’t thought about anything outside Saint, and a job like a guard for a company leaves him with strange emotions. As he shifts his weight from foot to foot, he tries to fight down the groan in the back of his throat from this boredom. How can ordinary people survive with a nine to five job like this? It’s torture.
He has to remind himself that he’s here for another reason, but it’s proving to be pointless when there hasn’t been anything remotely interesting other than the wasp that decided to stir up the atmosphere in the building too early in the morning. Despite the extra money that he’s getting, he feels like it isn’t worth it, knowing that he is earning more than enough as a Saint member. The only thing keeping him here is his intuition.
Lu Han is a nice boss to his workers. When he sees that some of them are too tired, he gives them time to rest, continuously praising them for their hard work. He buys lunch for the receptionists, always concerned about their health. If Chanyeol wasn’t a Saint member, perhaps he wouldn’t have any doubts about Lu Han, but he is and he does.
“Hey, Chanyeol,” one of the receptionists call him over. “The CEO would like to talk to you.”
Chanyeol blinks in surprise. That’s new. “Now?”
“Yes.”
He furrows his brows, quickly contemplating whether he should call Chaejin now and say his goodbyes, but decides that he might just be overreacting. He takes the elevator and presses the button for the 12th floor. He braces himself for every possible scenario, and when the elevator halts, he takes a deep breath before stepping out. Chanyeol walks towards Lu Han’s office with a calm and clear mind, knowing that worrying would not help him or Chaejin in this case.
“Ah, Chanyeol,” Lu Han says, just as Chanyeol gives a bow as a greeting. “Come, sit.”
He hates being told what to do, but he does it anyway, like a good little lapdog. He looks up at the too bright smile on Lu Han’s face, and Chanyeol knows that it holds more secrets than he could ever anticipate. After all, there are many different reasons for a smile, whether it be a person or a lie. Chanyeol knows that better than anyone else.
“I’ll get straight to the point,” the CEO says, and Chanyeol sits up straighter. “I’m thinking of offering you a full time job here in Apollo Pharmaceuticals - but even better than that - as my own personal bodyguard and a researcher.”
Now that Lu Han has started playing, Chanyeol is careful not to miss a beat. “I don’t research medical things.”
“But you want to, don’t you?” Lu Han tilts his head to one side, making him look younger than his actual age. “I’ve read up on you, asked about you - you’re one of the most intelligent members of Saint, but you choose to stay because of your uncle and your sister. There isn’t any rule against leaving, other than keeping Saint a secret or they would hunt you down. You’re so full of potential but you decide to agree with Saint’s agendas instead?”
“Because that’s what I’m interested in,” Chanyeol says slowly, keeping his gaze steady despite learning that Lu Han has been asking about him.
“Really?” Lu Han asks in a somewhat sarcastic and amused voice. Chanyeol continues to stare him, “I heard you were interested in science, and that you applied to all three of the top universities but you changed your mind at the last minute because of your dedication to Saint. Such wasted potential, but don’t fret, I will take you under my wing.”
“I’ll think about it,” Chanyeol says without blinking. Lu Han seems pleased with himself, and he’s dismissed. Lu Han makes sure to praise and thank Chanyeol for his efforts before the younger leaves the room.
Chanyeol looks at the clock on the wall, reading 5 P.M. He takes that as his cue to leave, and his footsteps can’t be fast enough. He gets the feeling that Lu Han doesn’t sincerely want him as a worker for him to pursue his outdated medical dream. Chanyeol ponders on this as he walks away from the building, realising that it may be his skills as a Saint member that Lu Han is after. Maybe Lu Han’s promotion is meant to discourage Chanyeol from having doubts about him. Despite the tempting offer, Chanyeol had already been set on rejecting it before entering Lu Han’s office.
When Chanyeol gets home, he finds Chaejin and Jongin sprawled out on the floor of his bedroom, their gazes focused on a puzzle. He furrows his brows in confusion as Chaejin and Jongin continue their argument.
“Hey, hyung,” Jongin says, then turns to talk back to Chaejin.
“Welcome home, how was work?” Chaejin says at the same moment, then they proceed to argue about a missing puzzle piece.
“You were the last one to have it,” Jongin insists but Chaejin shakes her head.
“No, I gave it to you before I went to the toilet.”
“It’s clearly not in my hand!”
“Then how can you blame me?” Chaejin asks, raising her voice. “Now we’re left with an incomplete puzzle, and we’ll never be able to play this again.”
Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “It was shit,” he says belatedly as an answer. Chaejin and Jongin immediately drop their conversation to look at him. It’s a rare case for Chanyeol to curse, and that’s when the puzzle is immediately forgotten.
“What happened?” Chaejin asks, but Chanyeol only shrugs his coat off before jumping onto his bed. Chaejin gives Jongin a worried look.
“Get up, hyung,” Jongin says, putting a hand on the older’s leg. “Let’s go play.”
Chanyeol groans. “Jongin, I don’t feel like playing. I’d like it if you two go somewhere else, I need to sleep.”
Jongin turns to Chaejin, and the two exchange knowing looks before they each grab a leg of Chanyeol’s and drag him out of the bed.
“Guys - ow!”
Jongin throws his hyung’s coat at him. “Get up, hyung. Don’t make me repeat myself. If you’re not out there in three minutes, you’ll owe us dinner for the rest of the month.”
They learn that Chanyeol’s doorway is not wide enough to fit three people at once.
--
As Jongin’s best friend, Chanyeol knows more than anyone else that most of the time, Jongin is full of bad ideas. This is a fact that he has forgotten the very moment they step into his car, and Jongin’s in the driver’s seat. It isn’t until the vehicle is moving that Chanyeol realises the grave mistake that they’ve made.
When he looks to his side and sees the fear in Chaejin’s eyes, he can tell that she feels the same.
“Jongin, uh… With all due respect, I think you should put either Chae or I behind the wheel.”
“No,” Jongin says without looking at him. “You don’t even know where we’re going, how would that work? Just sit back, relax, and try not to vomit.”
Chanyeol looks fearfully at Chaejin. “What do you mean try not to-”
Jongin steps on the gas and Chanyeol grips his seat until his fists are white. Instead of reprimanding his best friend for being reckless, Chanyeol focuses on staying alive and trying to understand the location Jongin has in mind. Chaejin looks more relaxed compared to Chanyeol, as if to say that she’s used to his driving, which brings a million questions to mind, but he brushes it off.
The Park twins grip at their seats when Jongin makes a particularly sharp U-Turn, wary of all the cars in the road that are potentially in danger because of Jongin’s reckless driving. Chaejin merely laughs it off, but Chanyeol’s teeth can’t help but clench his teeth in worry.
“Jongin - keep your eyes on the road-”
Jongin takes a sharp turn into a road that looks familiar to Chanyeol. It’s been a long time since he’s been here, despite being a local, high school memories of running around with Jongin and Sehun hit him now as Dongdaemun Market comes into view.
“I’ve never been here,” Chaejin admits shyly, and Jongin’s head turns around so quickly that Chanyeol wonders how he hadn’t snapped his neck. “What? Remember, I went to an all girls’ high school? I didn’t get to spend that much time with you except for the weekends or during the Saint training.”
“Oh… Right,” Jongin mumbles as he parks the car in a street nearby. Those years of high school away from Chaejin is not something that Chanyeol could forget. There had been multiple mixed emotions in those years which drove him mad from being unable to help his younger sister, and those were the years in which secrets arose which threatened their relationship. Up to this day, they easily passed it off as teenage hormones.
“Let’s go,” Jongin calls out, and the three walk out into the cold Seoul air. Chaejin runs ahead, excited at the sight of shops and food. It’s been awhile since Chanyeol has been able to spend his time leisurely with Chaejin and Jongin, so he’s grateful for this opportunity. As if sensing his thoughts, Jongin reaches out and holds Chanyeol’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Stop thinking so much, hyung. You’re scaring me.”
“I’m scaring you?” Chanyeol says, flabbergasted. A smile immediately forms on his lips as he accuses Jongin, “what about your driving abilities?”
Jongin shakes his head, somewhat disappointedly, but he’s smiling nonetheless. They trail after Chaejin until they tell her to enter one of the shops nearby, Chanyeol and Jongin’s personal favorites. It’s a quaint small that has accessories and hats, and Chanyeol can almost remember the time when he and Jongin picked out snapbacks for each other. He still has it to this very day.
Chaejin picks out a snapback that has “Brat” embroidered on it. Chanyeol comments that it’s fitting and Chaejin looks like she could throw a knife at him, just for good measure. Chanyeol is thinking about getting new phone cases for each other, when he feels a hat being put on his head. He turns around to find the culprit, Jongin, slightly on tiptoes. Chanyeol can’t help but smile.
“What about these, Jongin-ah?” Chanyeol puts a beanie on Jongin, and the younger blinks up at him. “It’s getting colder and you’re twenty-one but you’re always underdressed. I heard this winter is going to be the worst, so this is something that’s stylish and useful, no?” He tries to fight down the blush that threatens to take over his face, especially at the sight of a smile slowly forming on Jongin’s lips.
“That’s a great idea, hyung! I love it,” Jongin touches the beanie and smoothes his hair down. “I’ll take this.”
“You boys done?” Chaejin asks, holding a plastic bag of her purchases. Chanyeol and Jongin raise their eyebrows. When did that happen? Once they have finished paying, Chaejin grabs both of their wrists. All at once, Chanyeol is on high alert, suddenly wary of everyone in the shop, but what happens next is something that he would never have had imagined: Chaejin puts a bracelet on each of their wrists, and the men look down at it.
“What,” Jongin blinks at it, and looks up at Chaejin. “I mean this is nice and looks good but-”
“I just realised we’ve never had friendship items,” Chaejin mumbles, turning away. “We had to do it at least once, okay?” She quickly walks off, and Chanyeol looks down at the bracelet and musters a smile. It’s a nice change, considering how he can’t remember the last time they gave each other presents. Chanyeol likes it. He’s not one to make promises, seeing as his life is constantly ever-changing, but he’s sure that he can make the promise to be friends with these people for as long as possible.
--
Although Jongin is full of bad ideas, he is also a hopeless romantic who loves anything even if it’s cliche. That’s why Chanyeol isn’t surprised when he takes the wheel and Jongin tells him about their next destination. He steps on the gas, no questions asked. The sun has long set, and the cool air graces their car as Jongin and Chaejin roll down their windows, yelling pointless things into the night and laughing afterwards. Chanyeol decides to add to their fun by playing rock music that makes their car vibrate as they take on the open road. As Saint members, they have always been the type to make sure that they are invisible, but tonight they are reckless and alive.
“We really should do this more often,” Chanyeol says as he sings along to the song, complete with the instrumental breaks. He wonders if he could join a band one day. More often than not, he forgets that he’s a twenty-three year old man who still has his life ahead of him. He admits that he’s too serious, too calculating and protective, but these are traits that are to be expected from Saint members. It’s a constant battle to be all these things as well as being himself.
Jongin makes an affirming sound, whereas Chaejin decides to sing along to the song to the residents of Seoul.
“Hyung, I hope you don’t forget that I’m your friend, too… not just a Saint colleague,” Jongin says in a light tone, but both of the twins know that there’s a greater depth in his words.
Chanyeol hums as a reply, but Jongin can see the tightening of Chanyeol’s grip on the steering wheel, as well as his tightened jaw. The oldest stays quiet for the rest of their drive, and the only thing that can be heard is Chaejin’s rendition of “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.” All of Chanyeol’s thoughts fade to black as his eyes focus on the road, hoping that someone would give him an answer as to why and how Jongin could ever doubt that he’s Chanyeol’s friend - best friend - and maybe something more. He wonders if being in Saint has made him unable to show affection to anyone.
When Chanyeol parks their car, the other two immediately dash out. Chaejin carries blankets and a box of beer, whereas Jongin is left with the remaining food for the night. Chanyeol offers to take some of the load, but the younger two only shake their heads at him and tell him to take the deck of cards that’s located somewhere in the car. He feels useless carrying a handful of cards.
Jongin and Chaejin set out the food and drink nicely, and Chanyeol starts to walk towards them but Jongin only shakes his head. “No, you can’t, hyung!” He yells.
“What?” Chanyeol yells back.
“If you want to join in on the fun, you have to do something fun,” Jongin insists.
“But you didn’t,” Chanyeol retorts, not understanding why Jongin is so set on this.
Jongin shrugs. “Our hands were full. To come here you must… run Naruto style.”
“Seriously?” Chanyeol bursts out into laughter, his left eye twitching from the ridiculousness of the idea. It’s so out of place and he was certain that Jongin was giving him the cold shoulder or something. Jongin looks like he’s about to start laughing, but he maintains his composure.
“Yes, hyung, seriously. Chae and I won’t accept an adult who is too serious.”
Chanyeol rolls his eyes but follows what Jongin says anyway, only because it’s Jongin. He bends down, holds out his hands behind him, and runs, making sure to make the ‘whooshing’ sound with his mouth. Jongin and Chaejin fall back in laughter, and Chanyeol follows them afterwards. He collapses down on the grass, tears of laughter forming in the corners of his eyes when he sees a family walk away.
“Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d do it,” Jongin is on the verge of tears and Chaejin’s out of breath. “Park Chanyeol,” he muses, “Saint member by day, a ninja of Konohagakure by night.”
Chaejin and Jongin ask for an encore, but Chanyeol refuses to do it again unless it’s with the two of them. Together, they run Naruto style towards the river, and Chanyeol pushes Jongin slightly, getting the younger man’s shoes wet.
“No, hyung, you know I don’t wear socks,” Jongin groans as he laughs and takes off his shoes. They walk back squealing in laughter, breaking through the calmness of the evening.
“I’ll buy you a new pair,” Chanyeol promises with a menacing yet apologetic smile. “Thanks for taking us out, Jongin-ah.” Jongin rolls his eyes but doesn’t complain at the sight of the bright smile that he’s grown accustomed to.
They sit there like that, chattering and playing card games, betting on who treats them to lunch next time, all the while fighting for the food and the beer except for Jongin, vowing to be their sober driver. After his third bottle, Chanyeol is knocked out and considered out of their card game. Knowing that it’s not fun with only two players, Chaejin and Jongin give up and choose to talk instead, making sure that when the morning arrives, they’ll convince Chanyeol into thinking that he lost the game.
“This is really nice,” Chaejin comments, as the night air becomes more still and quieter.
“Did you have fun?” Jongin asks, and the smile on Chaejin’s face easily tells him the answer.
She draws out a long breath. “I love this. I mean I wish Sehun was here to enjoy it with us, but I know he’s got some important stuff going on right now. But this is nice. How did you think of doing this?”
Jongin shrugs. “Intuition.”
“Spontaneity is a part of your intuition?” Chaejin says, amused. “That’s cool. I could tell Yeol really needed it, and I didn’t think I needed this either, but I did. Thank you.”
The chattering causes Chanyeol to stir in his sleep, his eyes slightly opening to see the two figures with their backs before him. It takes him a full minute to realise that it’s Chaejin and Jongin, and maybe it’s Chanyeol’s drunken state, but he thinks that they look comfortable together.
“Nah, it’s nothing. All I did was drive everyone crazy. Literally,” Jongin answers. “So what do you think about life outside Saint?”
Jongin’s words take a while to sink in, and when they do, Chanyeol thinks it’s like being splashed by cold water. He freezes, careful not to make a move and give away that he’s conscious. His hazy vision makes it difficult to understand what’s going on, but Jongin’s words ring through the air like church bells. The realisation that they’re talking about life outside Saint makes him alert, wondering if they have plans of running away together.
“I like it,” Chaejin admits, “but only if there’s some sort of familiarity to it. I mean, the outside world is interesting and complex and no one tells you what needs to be done - you’re in charge of it all. It’s weird and disorienting, so I don’t think I can easily fit in.”
Jongin gives her a knowing smile. “What kind of familiarity?”
“Oh, you know…”
“Stabbing people? Stealing from people?” Jongin taunts.
Chanyeol can almost imagine Chaejin rolling her eyes. “No, you idiot, I’d only like the outside world if I was with Yeol, Sehun and you.”
“And me?” Jongin asks with a smile, leaning closer towards her, too close to be called a friendly distance. “Don’t you mean especially me?”
The sudden rapid beating in Chanyeol’s heart tells of Chaejin’s reactions. Chanyeol’s eyes widen at the realisation of it all: Chaejin has feelings for Jongin, but he keeps his mouth shut. His palms are sweating and his heart is racing like there’s not enough time; like it will never win. This is a conversation for another time and another place. Chanyeol secretly hopes that it will never come.
“Sure. Especially you,” Chaejin says teasingly, but there’s a somewhat winning smile on Jongin’s face that makes Chanyeol’s stomach turn. Chaejin quickly turns to look at Chanyeol, and he mentally groans for allowing himself to feel at such a critical moment. Content that Chanyeol is asleep, Chaejin turns to Jongin and sighs.
“What’s wrong?” Jongin asks.
Chaejin can only shake her head. “I think it’s about time we head home, but I don’t know how we’re going to get Yeol into the car.”
Jongin laughs at that, but ten minutes later he’s not the one laughing when his back is hurting.
--
Something is wrong. Some people call it intuition, but Chaejin calls it a fact when she spends the last two days feeling nothing but dread. Chanyeol has had the past few days off work, claiming that he’s sick. The rapid beating of her heart in her chest and the sick twisting of her stomach is more than enough to tell her that he’s not feeling physically sick, but emotionally sick. Chaejin knocks on his door multiple times, but he doesn’t answer. He never answers.
Chanyeol lies curled up in his bed, his head spinning with too many thoughts, making his stomach turn in too many directions. Fear and anxiety, they are two of the emotions that Chanyeol had fought all this time, knowing that these would do nothing but worry his younger sister.
It’s not fair. This isn’t fair. Not once did Chanyeol ever ask to have someone know about his feelings twenty-four-seven. He loves his twin sister more than anyone else, thinks that she’s more beautiful than anyone else, but there’s his feelings towards Jongin, and Chanyeol can’t deny that he spends some of his time thinking about holding or kissing him. Jongin is an important person, so is Sehun, but Chanyeol has never gone to the extent of working for a client just to ensure Sehun’s safety. With Jongin, it’s different. Jongin is Jongin.
The final year of high school. That’s when it had begun - the feelings that haunt him even now. At first they had been beautiful, a little scary, and when Chaejin had asked him back then, Chanyeol merely told her that being in high school made him that happy, and that he fell in love with school. He’s aware that Chaejin must have seen through his lies, but she never said a word about it. The crush on Jongin faded away slowly, but two years later it had reappeared without any invitation. It scared Chanyeol off his feet. It’s enough for Chanyeol to be scared of loving a person when one of the rules is that he’s not allowed to develop such emotions to anyone, especially aman, when Chanyeol had always assumed he was straight. He doesn’t need Chaejin to know that he’s scared. It scares him even more. The friendship bracelet on his wrist feels as cold and hard as a pair of handcuffs.
Maybe if Chanyeol had been normal and didn’t have a twin sister who could feel everything he felt, everything would be less intimidating. He can remember the anxious emotions that he has had to ignore, and all the stress he had felt all these years, working as a Saint member. He would only allow himself to break down once he’s certain that Chaejin is asleep. It’s draining him more than he could ever imagine.
There’s a knock on his door. Chanyeol doesn’t make a move to answer it, knowing that it would only be Jongin or Chaejin, and he doesn’t feel like seeing either.
“Yeol,” Chaejin calls out, “your food is here. Get something to eat, yeah?”
He lets his apologetic heart be the answer to that.
“Seriously? Come out.”
He shakes his head even though he knows that she can’t see him.
“Don’t make me break down your door, Chanyeol.”
The knocking stops. Chanyeol relaxes, thinking that he has finally achieved True Peace. His thoughts prove him wrong when he looks up to see the door forcefully opened, and Chaejin is standing on the other side of it with a very angry look on her face.
“Holy shit,” Chanyeol says, looking at the open door, gaping at his sister. “Seriously?”
Chaejin picks up the tray of food that she’s left on the floor, and puts it down on his bed before she starts yelling at him. “What the fuck? What the fuck, don’t seriously me, Park Chanyeol. What the hell? What’s up with you?”
“I love these heart to heart conversations.”
Chaejin holds him up by the collar, her eyes appearing to be more intimidating in the dark. “Honestly? I’ve been worried sick about you.” She lets him go and Chanyeol takes a deep breath. “Please tell me what’s going on. I don’t know what suddenly came over you.”
“Everything,” Chanyeol deadpans, and Chaejin stares at him blankly. “I’m tired of everything, Chae.”
Chaejin thinks she’s about to cry from hysteria. “So am I! I’m tired of all of this but you don’t see me locking myself up and ignoring everyone else around me.”
“Well done,” Chanyeol snaps at her, and Chaejin steps back in shock. “Well done for being able to cope with everything, and being fine with having no privacy. After all, you can do everything right and you don’t have anything to worry about once you leave Saint, right?”
“What? No… What gave you that idea?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Chanyeol says, suddenly exhausted from having snapped at his sister. She looks at him sadly, and he hates this. He’s the one who hates seeing her sad the most, and yet he’s doing this to her, because she likes Jongin and call him selfish but why can’t he have Jongin? Why can’t he have anything - not even his own emotions?
Chaejin takes a deep breath and kneels before the bed. “The last time you felt this anxious was when we had that task to steal files from a scientist’s lab. Do you remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“It struck me as odd,” Chaejin admits, looking into his eyes, “why you felt that way in the middle of a mission. I know you worry for me before and after we have missions to carry out, but never during a mission. Then I realised why.”
“Why?” Chanyeol asks dumbly, even though he knows that Chaejin also knows.
“Kim Junmyeon, huh,” Chaejin says with a hum. “Jongin’s uncle. You knew it was him when I opened the last drawer and you saw some of the photos. How did you know it was him?”
“How did you think of looking him up?” Chanyeol asks, curious.
Chaejin shrugs. “I had to figure out what scared you so much.”
“I met him before,” Chanyeol admits, and Chaejin’s eyes widen at that. “I’ll be honest. In the past, I’ve looked for Jongin’s connections in the outside world. I’ve looked into his DNA tests to see his relations in hopes to find someone.”
This is the first time Chaejin is hearing about this, and she’s not sure of what to feel. “Why?” she asks weakly.
“Isn’t it obvious? I didn’t want him to be a Saint member,” Chanyeol answers, all the energy draining out of him. “I wanted him to have a family. I loved having him around, but I didn’t want him to become one of us who have lost that innocence and love for the world.”
Chaejin sits up. “He hasn’t, though. You were wrong about that.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol nods, “I was. But I wanted to see if I could find anyone who would take him in one day, and I found him. Kim Junmyeon. Only… only I could introduce myself as Chanyeol, but I couldn’t give him Jongin… I couldn’t say that I knew Jongin. I was selfish.”
“That’s why seeing him unnerved you,” Chaejin whispers, and Chanyeol nods. Chaejin sits there on the floor, deep in thought, watching as Chanyeol eats his dinner. She takes a deep breath, surprised at the fact that she hadn’t considered Jongin’s other relatives or a life for him outside Saint from a younger age. She had always known that he was an orphan and that was enough. No one else from his family wanted him.
But maybe they did, but Chaejin had never bothered to find out. She looks up at Chanyeol, smiling at the scraps of food on the corner of his mouth, fighting every urge to clean it up for him. The realisation hits her quickly then, and her eyes follow Chanyeol from head to toe.
For someone to go to that extent… did Chanyeol only see Jongin as a friend?
“I don’t know,” Chanyeol admits, and Chaejin freezes upon realising that she had said that aloud. “I wish I knew, Chae.”
The sick twisting feeling on the pit of Chaejin’s stomach returns.
--
The conversation that was meant to fix things only made everything more complicated. Learning about Chanyeol’s feelings for Jongin changes everything, hence why Chaejin spends too many nights lying down in her bed, neglecting sleep as she lets her thoughts consume her. Endless questions come to mind: what is the real reason that Chanyeol is working for Lu Han? If Chanyeol likes Jongin and he knows that Chaejin feels the same, then why would he allow them to have so much alone time together? Does Jongin even like either of them? But the question that haunts Chaejin the most is one that she’s considered time and time again, and it’s like her worst fears are confirmed:
Which one of the twins actually likes Jongin?
Maybe both of them could like him. It’s a possibility. But Chaejin can’t help but doubt the validity of her feelings - what if it’s Chanyeol who has romantic feelings for Jongin, and because of their empathy, Chaejin also can’t help but fall for Jongin? Then does that mean that Chaejin never really liked Jongin at all?
It’s been three days since the conversation happened. Chanyeol and Chaejin walk past each other without sparing the other a glance, and Chaejin knows that it’s nothing personal. Chanyeol needs more space with all of the confusion and anxiety that he’s feeling that Chaejin doesn’t bother telling him that she’s thought she had feelings for Jongin. Chanyeol doesn’t need that confusion.
Thankfully, Sehun comes back in the late afternoon, so Chaejin spends the morning in Jongin’s room instead. As they have done in the past few weeks, they continue their investigation on Kim Junmyeon. All this time, Chaejin manages to keep Junmyeon’s family line hidden away from Jongin, knowing that now is not yet the time to reveal such a thing.
“Hey, Chae,” Jongin says, looking up from his laptop. “You know how Junmyeon started his own pharmaceutical company, Carna?”
Chaejin hums to show that she’s listening.
“He started a few months after working for Apollo Pharmaceuticals,” Jongin says, and Chaejin rushes to look at the screen, ignoring the concept of personal space. Her eyes widen at the realisation that Jongin’s right, and what kind of coincidence is this?
“This is not a coincidence,” Jongin says, as if reading her mind. Chaejin swallows the lump forming in her throat, trying to calm herself. “He used to work as one of the chemists and he helped with making medicine. He was one of their best. Chanyeol keeps talking about Lu Han and how nice he is to his employees, but what changed? What made Junmyeon the target of a Saint mission?”
“Lu Han,” says a voice, and they turn at the sound of Sehun’s voice. The welcome backs die in the back of their throats and Sehun looks like he hates being back here. “The answer to everything is Lu Han.” He turns to look at Chaejin, his expression neutral. “You got told to go and steal files from Kim Junmyeon the day after you met Lu Han, yet you were never told who hired you to steal that, right?”
Chaejin’s eyes widen in realisation, as the pieces begin to slowly fall into place.
“That’s not all,” joins another voice, and Sehun jumps at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice. The oldest nods at Sehun, acknowledging his return, before attending to the matter at hand. “Yesterday, I managed to get a copy of his files. If I may?”
Jongin nods and offers his laptop. Chanyeol inserts his flash drive and the four of them gather around Jongin’s laptop. Lu Han’s files pop up within the next minute, and Chanyeol clicks the one that has gotten attention. Jongin connects the laptop to his television, and the file comes up after a few moments.
“Dear xxxx,
I have written to confirm my decision regarding the matter. Although K J has been a very valuable member to our cause, we must continue on this journey without him. Give him his pay for this month, but nothing more. Try to ensure that the other large companies won’t employ him. We cannot have the formula fall in another’s hands. Having him out in the open is more than enough. Tell him that we have enjoyed and appreciated his company in Apollo Pharmaceuticals, but his talent is beneficial for another company. Do not give him any answers other than that. Make it a brief meeting.
Lu Han.”
The signature at the bottom of the message is unmistakable, and Chaejin feels sick to the pit of her stomach. That’s Jongin’s uncle, and the fact that Lu Han could fire him for… what?
“Here’s another one,” Chanyeol says in a monotonous voice, “if it wasn’t the weekend today, I would have found it difficult to go to work after seeing this.”
“Dear xxxx,
I have thought of a solution for our problem once and for all. There is an organisation S who specialise in everything that I need. I met them yesterday and today they are carrying the first of my missions: to go into C pharmacy and steal K J’s files. At least then, he will have no proof that he formulated everything, and the only files for the product will be in our possession.
I know of the doubts that cloud of your mind. What if K J only makes more files or formula for the product? Perhaps a week before the launch, I will get the S organisation to eliminate the problem once and for all, and Apollo will continue on its bright journey with the rest of the world with his creation, only he has to pay the price for it. I will let you know how it goes.
Lu Han.”
“Shit,” Chaejin swears under her breath, and Jongin nods numbly. “Does he mean…?”
“Murder?” Sehun asks. He has always been the one to speak the words that no one dares to say. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” He pauses, checking that he has all their attention. He does, especially after saying words like those. “After all, as my trip to China has told me - he’s the same man who was responsible for your parents’ deaths and my dad’s, I mean, what else would you expect?”
A stunned silence envelops the room.
--
The beginning of the end comes in the form of a text message. It’s an ominous-sounding bzzz that excuses Kim Jongin out from the rooftop, in the middle of Sehun talking about his adventures in China with a very solemn look on his face. Sehun hadn’t been able to smile lately, and Chaejin can’t blame him. It’s an almost impossible feat with everything that’s going on, but Chanyeol and Jongin manage to keep the smiles on their faces, probably for their sake more than their own.
Chaejin excuses herself a few moments later, claiming that she needs to go to the toilet but Chanyeol catches her eye. She freezes but he stares at her, his wide brown eyes unmoving, until she bites her lip and shrugs before she leaves. She practically sprints once she’s inside the building, the feeling of worry and fear growing in the pit of her stomach, threatening to eat her alive.
She stops when she reaches the outside of the meeting room, leaning her head against the door, desperate to catch pieces of their conversation. She wonders what kind of mission it is that requires the help of Saint’s golden boy. When the meeting ends and the door opens, Jongin acts like he has been expecting Chaejin to be there, and he grabs her hand, leading her away from the room without sparing her a glance. He leads her to his bedroom, where he locks the doors and shut the blinds before he makes her sit down on the bed. Everything about it feels grave, and Chaejin knows that Chanyeol will look for her now, unable to keep his worries about her at bay.
“It was just as we expected,” Jongin says, looking into Chaejin’s eyes. They hold them there, staring, unmoving, hoping it would bring something like comfort into his soul. They don’t - not as much as they should.
“Yeah?”
Jongin lets out a deep breath, maintaining his patience until Sehun and Chanyeol walk into his room. Jongin quickly lets them in, like they’re expected visitors.
“Lu Han has asked for me to kill Kim Junmyeon,” Jongin says slowly, and there are no audible gasps of terror like there would be in movies. There are only empty stares and hollow hearts, silences that hold more meaning than anything else.
“You can’t,” Sehun, Chaejin and Chanyeol say in unison after a long pause. Jongin stares at them, slightly surprised by their timing, even more by their words.
“You can’t comply to something that that murderer wants,” Sehun reasons.
Chanyeol takes a deep breath and exchanges a look with Chaejin. He nods, giving her the permission.
“You can’t murder your own uncle, Jongin,” Chaejin says. Sehun takes a sharp intake of breath, and Chaejin swears that Jongin could have snapped his neck at the sudden turn of his head to stare at her.
“What did you say?” Jongin asks slowly, carefully, and Chaejin turns rigid. It’s Chanyeol’s cue to speak.
“Junmyeon is your uncle, Jongin-ah.” Chanyeol takes a deep breath as Jongin turns his attention to the older twin. “Did Lu Han specifically ask for you?” Jongin nods as an answer, and Chanyeol wonders if it’s acceptable to smash his head against the wall at this very instant. “Then Lu Han knows.”
“He knows what?” Sehun asks, and Chanyeol looks like every word that comes out of his mouth is draining him.
“He knows that I went into his files. He knows that Junmyeon is Jongin’s uncle. He knows,” Chanyeol pauses, looking at everyone in the room before his gaze stops on Jongin alone. “I was worried that he would kill you, but I can see that he’s crueler than that. He wants you alive after you’ve killed a person. He wants to destroy you alive. It doesn’t matter if you leave Saint later on, because this will stay with you for the rest of your life.”
There are sharp intakes of breaths in the room, as if their bodies don’t get enough of oxygen. Chaejin looks around, almost being able to hear the gears turning in their heads, trying to come up with a plan. There has never been any news about Saint refusing a client, and they can’t just ignore Lu Han’s request or he might kill one of them instead.
“Alright,” Chanyeol breathes out after a long pause, “I have a plan.”
--
It’s 2:30 A.M., and Chanyeol is standing outside in the rooftop, all by himself. Seoul is slightly quieter, and the roads aren’t congested, making Chanyeol feel better and less suffocated. It’s hard to feel this way, especially after finding out about the identity of his parents’ murderer.
The same man that he had worked for. The same man he had been kind to, so close to defeating, if needed, but he hadn’t found any substantial evidence until recently. He was so close, and now he can’t help but feel responsible for this mess.
Not to mention that the same murderer had requested for Jongin to murder his own uncle. Jongin! The nerve!Between the twins, Chanyeol had always considered himself as the more careful, the more calculating twin between the pair, even if he was friends with all of their colleagues at Saint. He rarely ever gets angry, but furious is an understatement to the emotion that’s consuming him now.
“Whoa, calm down there, tiger.”
Chanyeol turns his head to see Jongin making his way towards him, wearing his Spongebob Squarepants pyjamas. If he wasn’t so angry, he would have burst out into laughter at the sight of it.
“I can tell what you’re thinking, but no judging.”
“The one time I see you wearing clothes for sleeping, and you’re wearing this?”
“I said no judging,” Jongin huffs, before wrapping a blanket around Chanyeol’s shoulders to prevent him from catching a cold. “What are you thinking about, hyung? Your parents?”
Chanyeol hums, before he nods and adds, “and you.”
“Me?”
Chanyeol nods once again, knowing that the following words that he is about to say are the most important words he would ever utter in his entire life. “I always think about my family. I always think about you. But right now, it’s leaning more towards you, because not much can be done about my parents other than revenge.” He pauses, checking that Jongin’s attention is still on him. “You, however, are very much alive. I need to protect that more than anything else.”
Jongin wonders if he should really play this role, but seeing as how Chanyeol is observing him, waiting for him to say something, he decides to fulfill the unspoken dialogue that’s already been there for as long as either of them can remember. “Why?”
“Because I love you, Jongin-ah-”
Like most first kisses, it’s described as the final puzzle piece coming into place. Their kiss is slow, painfully languid, and something inside Chanyeol begins to break. Kim Jongin. The two words that make up the name of not only a person, but in Chanyeol’s life, it’s different. Kim Jongin is a period of time, scattered memories of happiness, sadness, fear, thrill and confusion. It’s the feeling that is suddenly coming to an end as they take the final step that takes the form of a kiss more bittersweet than anything else. For most couples, their first kisses indicate the start of a beautiful and fruitful relationship. For Chanyeol and Jongin, it marks the end of all the possibilities.
When Jongin breaks their kiss, the sadness and guilt in his eyes are unmistakable. “Hyung, I love you, too… but not like that.”
“I…”
“And you don’t love me like that either, do you?” Jongin asks in a gentle voice. Chanyeol is speechless. All those times that he spent thinking about Jongin - were those an illusion?
“I love you,” Jongin says, and it sounds more painful than anything Chanyeol has heard. He knows the word that’s about to come next, but he wishes that it doesn’t come. It does anyway. “But neither of us love each other that way. We love each other as brothers… you might have confused your love for me like that.”
Chanyeol blinks, knowing that Jongin is probably right, but… but still-
“I know what I’m talking about, hyung, because I’m in love with Chaejin.”
“Oh.” Chanyeol blinks, letting it all sink in. Knowing that Chaejin is asleep, Chanyeol takes a deep breath, enjoying the body and emotions that are all his. He should be feeling something right now like heartbreak, but he isn’t. He’s staring at Jongin in awe, like it’s all falling to place, and before he knew it, there’s a smile forming on his lips.
“We’ll leave Saint one day,” Jongin says with a wistful smile. “So that we won’t get caught and be punished for all of this. Hyung… I want to start a life with her one day.”
Chanyeol nods robotically, unable to form any words. Jongin frowns, taking the older’s hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. “Are you okay?”
“Sorry. Let me just… Let me think about all of this for a moment, okay? I’ve been convinced for years that I like you, but…”
“I know,” Jongin says with a sad smile, much to Chanyeol’s surprise. “I’ve always known. But I didn’t know how to say it, or how to approach you… I think a small part of you has always known, though, that what you feel for me isn’t like that. You’ve always treated me like a younger brother, and I don’t see that changing any time in the future even if we were to give us a chance.”
“You’re right,” Chanyeol says in a somewhat defeated yet relieved voice, like everything is falling into place. Jongin gives him an encouraging smile, and a worried look.
“But, hyung, be careful… all this time, even though I’m not as close to you as Chae is, I’ve been able to pick up on your emotions… You know how dangerous it can be… especially when there are people like Lu Han in the world.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Chanyeol says in a playful tone, ruffling Jongin’s hair who whines in response. They stare out at the Seoul skyline, their breaths becoming quieter and quieter. Jongin looks up at his best friend in concern, knowing that Chanyeol’s worries are too heavy for any human being to take.
--
They leave for Lu Han’s mansion an hour later. Chanyeol is tapping his foot impatiently outside his sister’s door, thinking that she’s probably slept too much once again. When her door opens to reveal Chaejin with sleepless eyes, Chanyeol does a double-take, wondering what on earth took her so long to get prepared.
“Let’s go,” Chaejin says in an emotionless voice. It’s her default tone in the last moment before she starts a Saint mission. It’s the first time that Chanyeol is joining her out on the field instead of staying in their headquarters, and it continues to make him feel uneasy. Chaejin, Sehun and Jongin had repeatedly told him that it’s better if he’s there with them, since this is a more personal mission: one that comes down to the very core of their involvement in Saint.
“Chae,” Chanyeol puts a hand on her wrist that suddenly feels too small, too fragile. She looks up at her older brother, meeting his worried and doubtful eyes. “Are you sure this will be okay? Why don’t I stay behind?”
“You can’t,” Chaejin says with a shaky voice, and Chanyeol doesn’t think that it’s because of the cold. “I need you there. I need you with me or I won’t be able to do it.”
The fear in both of their hearts is definite, and Chanyeol takes that short moment to embrace his sister in his arms. Chaejin fights back tears, knowing that Chanyeol is not the one for moments like these. “You’re going to make me cry,” she mumbles.
“Can’t have that, can we?” Chanyeol jokes, patting his sister’s head before letting her go. Chaejin is all smiles and jokes but her hold on Chanyeol’s hand is tighter than anything else.
--
It’s two days until the release of Lu Han’s product, so the security is not working to their liking. Thankfully, they have experienced and skilfull members from Saint, making Chanyeol feel slightly more relieved of his anxieties. Jongin is the first one to leave their car, quickly knocking out the guards outside the gate in two minutes flat. Sehun joins soon after, taking down the ones who are falling asleep on the job, and those who are working around the gardens and the pool.
Finally, the twins get out of the vehicle to join the scene. By the time they get inside Lu Han’s mansions, all of his guards are knocked out. There’s no time for them to be impressed as they look around the mansion and try to work out which of the three floors Lu Han would be staying in. Judging by the number of guards, Lu Han would have to be inside the mansion instead of his office. Chanyeol is somewhat grateful that on the night of the party, it had been revealed that Lu Han did not have any family members living under his roof. There will be no innocent deaths tonight.
The four Saint members look at each other, nodding briefly before splitting up to look for their prey. Sehun and Chaejin stay on the ground floor, whereas Chanyeol and Jongin take the second. Both of the twins are unusually calm, to both of their surprise. All four of them go through each room quietly and diligently, making sure to check every nook and cranny. The knife in Chanyeol’s pocket feels heavy, but the gun in his hand weighs like a ton. He has never gone out of his way for a mission like this.
As Chanyeol and Jongin begin to look through the rooms on the third floor, there’s a clatter on the first floor and everything stops.
“Oh, God,” Chanyeol breathes out as he and Jongin sprint down the stairs. He mentally curses himself for having chosen to go to the third floor in that moment, now that they have more flights of stairs separating them from the action. They see the figure of a person running through the hall, and they realise with a shock that it’s Lu Han, and their footsteps down the stairs become more urgent. No more games of hide and seek, now it’s only a game of cat and mouse.
Chaejin and Sehun pursue the man who retreats into various rooms, always making sure to close the door behind him, but Chaejin always manages to break them down. Chanyeol and Jongin join the two soon after, their long legs closing the distance between them, just in time to see Lu Han retreat into his bathroom. Chaejin knocks down the final door separating them from their target, until there’s a sharp and loud bang! that Chanyeol is more than familiar with.
His ears are ringing as his legs give out beneath him. Chanyeol thinks he can hear Jongin yelling and Sehun cursing repeatedly. Chanyeol tries to walk but his legs fail him. He can see Sehun far ahead, shooting Lu Han repeatedly in the chest, the pool of blood around him becoming bigger by the second.
But there’s another pool of blood, and it’s one that Chanyeol is more concerned about. Chaejin is lying on her back, her breathing becoming more ragged with every passing second. Her eyes are searching the room, searching for her brother, until Jongin wraps his arm around Chanyeol and helps him walk towards his wounded sister.
“Chanyeol…”
“Oh, God,” Jongin’s voice cracks, and Chanyeol can only stare at his sister. All thoughts of first aid are gone now, looking at the location of the hole on her chest.
“Chanyeol…”
It’s only then that Chanyeol finally steps forward to take his younger sister in his arms. “Oh, God, Chaejin.” He takes off his jacket, putting it on top of her chest to apply pressure. She helplessly shakes her head at him.
“That’s your favourite… jacket…”
“Chaejin,” Chanyeol grits his teeth, looking around the bathroom for the first aid kit. Jongin gives it to him soon after.
“I…” Chaejin’s voice cracks at the sight of her brother and friends before her dying body. “It was… nice… meeting you.”
“Chaejin, don’t say that,” Jongin scolds her, but she smiles at him.
“Especially you,” she says the same words from their conversation at the Han River. Chanyeol holds back a sob as Chaejin’s breathing begins to slow down, and she looks at him with sad, sorrowful eyes.
“I love you,” she whispers to no one in particular - or all of them - they will never know, because all the breath in her body leaves her in a definite sigh.
The final emotion that Chaejin and Chanyeol feel together is something that Chanyeol has never anticipated. It’s calm, grateful, it feels like it’s all coming together yet slowly falling apart. It’s peace.
Chanyeol knows what it’s like to lose someone. He remembers the death of his parents, no matter how hard he tries to forget it. The feeling of grief he had felt back then is nothing in comparison to this moment. Everything in his very being breaks. Chanyeol starts to scream, his voice getting louder and louder with every passing moment, sobs racking through his body as he feels every single part of him break. He had never felt anything like this before: it’s as if his lungs, heart and bones are being broken, pieces of Chaejin that have been with him are being taken away without his consent.
Chaejin had never been a part of Chanyeol. She is not a piece of Chanyeol’s heart. She had been with him for so long, embedded into his very being, into his very soul, that there is no such thing as being separated from her. Hearing Chaejin’s last breath was not the sign of her death - this was. The feeling that’s overwhelming Chanyeol now, as his body begins to feel too big for one soul, the knowledge that no one else is feeling what he’s feeling, and the invisible string that connects their hearts together has been snipped, one half of it permanently gone.
Jongin tries to hold him now, and there are tears mixed with blood on the bathroom floor. Chanyeol can vaguely hear his best friend telling them that they have to clean evidence, and that they have to get Chaejin out of here so that she won’t die as a suspect. Chanyeol’s vision begins to blur, and Jongin pulls him up to his legs. Chanyeol wipes all his tears away and gets working.
They wash Chaejin’s blood off the bathroom floor with various chemicals and get rid of all the traces of their DNA in the crime scene. Sehun is entrusted to carry Chaejin’s body, knowing that both Chanyeol and Jongin are too unstable to do so. Jongin watches in shock as Chanyeol mechanically walks to Lu Han’s room and deletes all CCTV footages inside the mansion, and Chanyeol calls their colleague, Kim Minseok, to delete all CCTV footages around Lu Han’s neighbourhood with no further questions asked.
They leave Lu Han’s mansion with no trace except for their broken hearts.
--
“Hey, Chanyeol, how are you?” A cheerful Kim Minseok makes conversation as Chanyeol visits the Saint headquarters for the first time in six months. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol says with a sad smile on his face. “Thanks for helping me… on that night.”
Minseok’s face is crestfallen as he nods. “I couldn’t have her be a suspect in the view of the public.”
“Thank you,” Chanyeol says, bowing. Minseok takes that as a cue to leave the former Saint member alone. Chanyeol walks through the hallways, fighting down the feeling of nostalgia along with the nausea. It’s his first time visiting in six months, so he never got the chance to get all his things and had to survive from borrowing Jongin and Sehun’s things instead. Now that they live in a small apartment recommended by Kim Junmyeon, life is slowly… getting there. Somewhere.
His uncle makes his way towards him, but Chanyeol takes the sharp right, ignoring his relative and going into his room instead. He packs up some of his books along with his laptop, his clothes and a few photo albums that he doesn’t take a look at. His uncle is still standing out in the hallway but Chanyeol takes no notice of him as he goes through Chaejin’s room. He tries not to notice her pile of dirty laundry on the floor, or her unmade bed, or her very scent still lingering in the air. What catches his eye though, is the small envelope sitting on the drawer next to her bed.
It’s addressed to him.
“Dear Yeol,
I’ve never written a letter, but I guess there’s a first time for everything, right? All this time I haven’t been sure when I should give this to you, but I’ve decided once and for all that after tonight, I will give this to you.
You are the most important person in my life, Yeol~ Ahhh, that sounds so sappy, I’m sorry. I’m trying to put the words that I need to say here but I’m doing a terrible job, I think.
These past few weeks, I’m sure that the four of us can agree on one thing - our time at Saint is coming to an end… sort of. Not sure. I think it is, well only because Jongin and I talk a lot about it. I love being a Saint member, and I’m sure that you do, too. But it’s not worth it to stay in an organisation that stops you from reaching your full potential.
I don’t mean in the way in which you had to stop yourself from becoming a scientist. I mean this in the way that we’ve all had to stop ourselves from falling in love. Yeol-ah, please don’t be scared of falling in love. It can be terrifying and nerve-wrecking, but when it happens, it happens. Everything begins to make sense and everything feels at peace.
I’m in love with Jongin-ah, Yeol. I’m sorry if this might come as a shock to you. I know that for a long time now, you’ve also liked him - or thought that you liked him. I’m scared if my feelings influenced how you feel towards Jongin, but I hope we can talk about this. I’ve had my own alone moments with him, trying to find the validity of my own emotions, and they proved to be quite right.
I know that between the two of us, I’ve always seemed like I enjoyed our missions too much to be called humane. If I’m being honest, I can agree with that, but with everything that I’m feeling and discovering right now - there is more to life than following what someone has asked us to do. I know that it’s confusing for you, you might even be angry, but I can’t ignore myself anymore, when all that my very soul and very being longs for is Jongin.
I hope that you’ll understand me and that you won’t tell uncle on me. I know that you try your best to get both of us out of trouble, always, so you must feel uncomfortable holding a secret this big… But it’s not that bad, I promise. Once you find a person that you truly love, it’ll all make sense. I’m sorry, Yeol, if I’m taking Jongin away from you. But if you don’t want me to be with him, then I’ll understand. You’ll always remain as the most important person in my life. I love you.
Chaejin. ”
It’s still a fresh wound on Chanyeol’s heart, and he reckons that it will be for a long time. He packs up the letter, careful not to crumple it, taking care of his sister’s words that he will never hear her say to him in this lifetime. Chanyeol takes some of Chaejin’s favourite objects, the ones that he knows she would take with him if they were to leave Saint, only with less clothes. Chanyeol leaves the building without taking another glance at the people inside it, knowing that they are looking at him with pitiful looks, the same way that he and Chaejin used to look at them in the past.
--
“Dude, what the hell is this?” Sehun asks, holding up the piece of string before him.
“It’s a friendship bracelet, Sehun-ah,” Jongin says with a bright smile on his face, bringing up his wrist to show his. “Chae picked it out for all of us.”
Sehun scoffs, but puts it on anyway, all the while giving Chanyeol a judging look. “You’re six months late in giving this to me?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “Not my fault.”
“So that explains why she was wearing this when we buried her,” Sehun says, finally understanding. “No wonder it looked so tacky.”
“Hush, Sehun-ah, or she’ll haunt you,” Jongin says with a scolding tone.
Sehun laughs. “Yeah, right. That would actually be good. I miss her.”
“Yeah, me too,” Chanyeol says with a deep sigh. Jongin takes a glance at him from the corner of his eyes and asks,
“So did you finally read her letter?”
“Yeah.”
“What did she say?” Sehun asks, interested. Both Sehun and Jongin had seen the letter before Chanyeol, since they had gone back to the headquarters before Chanyeol did. Once seeing that it was addressed to Chaejin’s older brother, however, they decided that it was not right for them to read it.
“She said that you’re both fucking idiots,” Chanyeol says with a scoff.
“That little shit,” Sehun mutters under his breath, just as Jongin mutters,
“It’s just like her to say that.”
Chanyeol laughs at their reactions, shaking his head. “Nah. She just talked about how we shouldn’t stay in an organisation that forbids us from falling in love. All the like. Everything we’ve talked about recently, basically.”
“That’s good,” Sehun says with a wistful smile. “She must be so proud of us right now, then.”
“Especially me,” Jongin retorts, and Chanyeol gives him a threatening look. Sehun laughs before telling them off for goofing around. They continue to unpack Chanyeol’s belongings into their new apartment. Jongin busies himself with folding Chanyeol’s clothes, and Chanyeol focuses on hanging pictures on the wall, making sure to put a picture of Chaejin on their small dining table for four people.
← [2/3]
He has to remind himself that he’s here for another reason, but it’s proving to be pointless when there hasn’t been anything remotely interesting other than the wasp that decided to stir up the atmosphere in the building too early in the morning. Despite the extra money that he’s getting, he feels like it isn’t worth it, knowing that he is earning more than enough as a Saint member. The only thing keeping him here is his intuition.
Lu Han is a nice boss to his workers. When he sees that some of them are too tired, he gives them time to rest, continuously praising them for their hard work. He buys lunch for the receptionists, always concerned about their health. If Chanyeol wasn’t a Saint member, perhaps he wouldn’t have any doubts about Lu Han, but he is and he does.
“Hey, Chanyeol,” one of the receptionists call him over. “The CEO would like to talk to you.”
Chanyeol blinks in surprise. That’s new. “Now?”
“Yes.”
He furrows his brows, quickly contemplating whether he should call Chaejin now and say his goodbyes, but decides that he might just be overreacting. He takes the elevator and presses the button for the 12th floor. He braces himself for every possible scenario, and when the elevator halts, he takes a deep breath before stepping out. Chanyeol walks towards Lu Han’s office with a calm and clear mind, knowing that worrying would not help him or Chaejin in this case.
“Ah, Chanyeol,” Lu Han says, just as Chanyeol gives a bow as a greeting. “Come, sit.”
He hates being told what to do, but he does it anyway, like a good little lapdog. He looks up at the too bright smile on Lu Han’s face, and Chanyeol knows that it holds more secrets than he could ever anticipate. After all, there are many different reasons for a smile, whether it be a person or a lie. Chanyeol knows that better than anyone else.
“I’ll get straight to the point,” the CEO says, and Chanyeol sits up straighter. “I’m thinking of offering you a full time job here in Apollo Pharmaceuticals - but even better than that - as my own personal bodyguard and a researcher.”
Now that Lu Han has started playing, Chanyeol is careful not to miss a beat. “I don’t research medical things.”
“But you want to, don’t you?” Lu Han tilts his head to one side, making him look younger than his actual age. “I’ve read up on you, asked about you - you’re one of the most intelligent members of Saint, but you choose to stay because of your uncle and your sister. There isn’t any rule against leaving, other than keeping Saint a secret or they would hunt you down. You’re so full of potential but you decide to agree with Saint’s agendas instead?”
“Because that’s what I’m interested in,” Chanyeol says slowly, keeping his gaze steady despite learning that Lu Han has been asking about him.
“Really?” Lu Han asks in a somewhat sarcastic and amused voice. Chanyeol continues to stare him, “I heard you were interested in science, and that you applied to all three of the top universities but you changed your mind at the last minute because of your dedication to Saint. Such wasted potential, but don’t fret, I will take you under my wing.”
“I’ll think about it,” Chanyeol says without blinking. Lu Han seems pleased with himself, and he’s dismissed. Lu Han makes sure to praise and thank Chanyeol for his efforts before the younger leaves the room.
Chanyeol looks at the clock on the wall, reading 5 P.M. He takes that as his cue to leave, and his footsteps can’t be fast enough. He gets the feeling that Lu Han doesn’t sincerely want him as a worker for him to pursue his outdated medical dream. Chanyeol ponders on this as he walks away from the building, realising that it may be his skills as a Saint member that Lu Han is after. Maybe Lu Han’s promotion is meant to discourage Chanyeol from having doubts about him. Despite the tempting offer, Chanyeol had already been set on rejecting it before entering Lu Han’s office.
When Chanyeol gets home, he finds Chaejin and Jongin sprawled out on the floor of his bedroom, their gazes focused on a puzzle. He furrows his brows in confusion as Chaejin and Jongin continue their argument.
“Hey, hyung,” Jongin says, then turns to talk back to Chaejin.
“Welcome home, how was work?” Chaejin says at the same moment, then they proceed to argue about a missing puzzle piece.
“You were the last one to have it,” Jongin insists but Chaejin shakes her head.
“No, I gave it to you before I went to the toilet.”
“It’s clearly not in my hand!”
“Then how can you blame me?” Chaejin asks, raising her voice. “Now we’re left with an incomplete puzzle, and we’ll never be able to play this again.”
Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “It was shit,” he says belatedly as an answer. Chaejin and Jongin immediately drop their conversation to look at him. It’s a rare case for Chanyeol to curse, and that’s when the puzzle is immediately forgotten.
“What happened?” Chaejin asks, but Chanyeol only shrugs his coat off before jumping onto his bed. Chaejin gives Jongin a worried look.
“Get up, hyung,” Jongin says, putting a hand on the older’s leg. “Let’s go play.”
Chanyeol groans. “Jongin, I don’t feel like playing. I’d like it if you two go somewhere else, I need to sleep.”
Jongin turns to Chaejin, and the two exchange knowing looks before they each grab a leg of Chanyeol’s and drag him out of the bed.
“Guys - ow!”
Jongin throws his hyung’s coat at him. “Get up, hyung. Don’t make me repeat myself. If you’re not out there in three minutes, you’ll owe us dinner for the rest of the month.”
They learn that Chanyeol’s doorway is not wide enough to fit three people at once.
--
As Jongin’s best friend, Chanyeol knows more than anyone else that most of the time, Jongin is full of bad ideas. This is a fact that he has forgotten the very moment they step into his car, and Jongin’s in the driver’s seat. It isn’t until the vehicle is moving that Chanyeol realises the grave mistake that they’ve made.
When he looks to his side and sees the fear in Chaejin’s eyes, he can tell that she feels the same.
“Jongin, uh… With all due respect, I think you should put either Chae or I behind the wheel.”
“No,” Jongin says without looking at him. “You don’t even know where we’re going, how would that work? Just sit back, relax, and try not to vomit.”
Chanyeol looks fearfully at Chaejin. “What do you mean try not to-”
Jongin steps on the gas and Chanyeol grips his seat until his fists are white. Instead of reprimanding his best friend for being reckless, Chanyeol focuses on staying alive and trying to understand the location Jongin has in mind. Chaejin looks more relaxed compared to Chanyeol, as if to say that she’s used to his driving, which brings a million questions to mind, but he brushes it off.
The Park twins grip at their seats when Jongin makes a particularly sharp U-Turn, wary of all the cars in the road that are potentially in danger because of Jongin’s reckless driving. Chaejin merely laughs it off, but Chanyeol’s teeth can’t help but clench his teeth in worry.
“Jongin - keep your eyes on the road-”
Jongin takes a sharp turn into a road that looks familiar to Chanyeol. It’s been a long time since he’s been here, despite being a local, high school memories of running around with Jongin and Sehun hit him now as Dongdaemun Market comes into view.
“I’ve never been here,” Chaejin admits shyly, and Jongin’s head turns around so quickly that Chanyeol wonders how he hadn’t snapped his neck. “What? Remember, I went to an all girls’ high school? I didn’t get to spend that much time with you except for the weekends or during the Saint training.”
“Oh… Right,” Jongin mumbles as he parks the car in a street nearby. Those years of high school away from Chaejin is not something that Chanyeol could forget. There had been multiple mixed emotions in those years which drove him mad from being unable to help his younger sister, and those were the years in which secrets arose which threatened their relationship. Up to this day, they easily passed it off as teenage hormones.
“Let’s go,” Jongin calls out, and the three walk out into the cold Seoul air. Chaejin runs ahead, excited at the sight of shops and food. It’s been awhile since Chanyeol has been able to spend his time leisurely with Chaejin and Jongin, so he’s grateful for this opportunity. As if sensing his thoughts, Jongin reaches out and holds Chanyeol’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Stop thinking so much, hyung. You’re scaring me.”
“I’m scaring you?” Chanyeol says, flabbergasted. A smile immediately forms on his lips as he accuses Jongin, “what about your driving abilities?”
Jongin shakes his head, somewhat disappointedly, but he’s smiling nonetheless. They trail after Chaejin until they tell her to enter one of the shops nearby, Chanyeol and Jongin’s personal favorites. It’s a quaint small that has accessories and hats, and Chanyeol can almost remember the time when he and Jongin picked out snapbacks for each other. He still has it to this very day.
Chaejin picks out a snapback that has “Brat” embroidered on it. Chanyeol comments that it’s fitting and Chaejin looks like she could throw a knife at him, just for good measure. Chanyeol is thinking about getting new phone cases for each other, when he feels a hat being put on his head. He turns around to find the culprit, Jongin, slightly on tiptoes. Chanyeol can’t help but smile.
“What about these, Jongin-ah?” Chanyeol puts a beanie on Jongin, and the younger blinks up at him. “It’s getting colder and you’re twenty-one but you’re always underdressed. I heard this winter is going to be the worst, so this is something that’s stylish and useful, no?” He tries to fight down the blush that threatens to take over his face, especially at the sight of a smile slowly forming on Jongin’s lips.
“That’s a great idea, hyung! I love it,” Jongin touches the beanie and smoothes his hair down. “I’ll take this.”
“You boys done?” Chaejin asks, holding a plastic bag of her purchases. Chanyeol and Jongin raise their eyebrows. When did that happen? Once they have finished paying, Chaejin grabs both of their wrists. All at once, Chanyeol is on high alert, suddenly wary of everyone in the shop, but what happens next is something that he would never have had imagined: Chaejin puts a bracelet on each of their wrists, and the men look down at it.
“What,” Jongin blinks at it, and looks up at Chaejin. “I mean this is nice and looks good but-”
“I just realised we’ve never had friendship items,” Chaejin mumbles, turning away. “We had to do it at least once, okay?” She quickly walks off, and Chanyeol looks down at the bracelet and musters a smile. It’s a nice change, considering how he can’t remember the last time they gave each other presents. Chanyeol likes it. He’s not one to make promises, seeing as his life is constantly ever-changing, but he’s sure that he can make the promise to be friends with these people for as long as possible.
--
Although Jongin is full of bad ideas, he is also a hopeless romantic who loves anything even if it’s cliche. That’s why Chanyeol isn’t surprised when he takes the wheel and Jongin tells him about their next destination. He steps on the gas, no questions asked. The sun has long set, and the cool air graces their car as Jongin and Chaejin roll down their windows, yelling pointless things into the night and laughing afterwards. Chanyeol decides to add to their fun by playing rock music that makes their car vibrate as they take on the open road. As Saint members, they have always been the type to make sure that they are invisible, but tonight they are reckless and alive.
“We really should do this more often,” Chanyeol says as he sings along to the song, complete with the instrumental breaks. He wonders if he could join a band one day. More often than not, he forgets that he’s a twenty-three year old man who still has his life ahead of him. He admits that he’s too serious, too calculating and protective, but these are traits that are to be expected from Saint members. It’s a constant battle to be all these things as well as being himself.
Jongin makes an affirming sound, whereas Chaejin decides to sing along to the song to the residents of Seoul.
“Hyung, I hope you don’t forget that I’m your friend, too… not just a Saint colleague,” Jongin says in a light tone, but both of the twins know that there’s a greater depth in his words.
Chanyeol hums as a reply, but Jongin can see the tightening of Chanyeol’s grip on the steering wheel, as well as his tightened jaw. The oldest stays quiet for the rest of their drive, and the only thing that can be heard is Chaejin’s rendition of “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing.” All of Chanyeol’s thoughts fade to black as his eyes focus on the road, hoping that someone would give him an answer as to why and how Jongin could ever doubt that he’s Chanyeol’s friend - best friend - and maybe something more. He wonders if being in Saint has made him unable to show affection to anyone.
When Chanyeol parks their car, the other two immediately dash out. Chaejin carries blankets and a box of beer, whereas Jongin is left with the remaining food for the night. Chanyeol offers to take some of the load, but the younger two only shake their heads at him and tell him to take the deck of cards that’s located somewhere in the car. He feels useless carrying a handful of cards.
Jongin and Chaejin set out the food and drink nicely, and Chanyeol starts to walk towards them but Jongin only shakes his head. “No, you can’t, hyung!” He yells.
“What?” Chanyeol yells back.
“If you want to join in on the fun, you have to do something fun,” Jongin insists.
“But you didn’t,” Chanyeol retorts, not understanding why Jongin is so set on this.
Jongin shrugs. “Our hands were full. To come here you must… run Naruto style.”
“Seriously?” Chanyeol bursts out into laughter, his left eye twitching from the ridiculousness of the idea. It’s so out of place and he was certain that Jongin was giving him the cold shoulder or something. Jongin looks like he’s about to start laughing, but he maintains his composure.
“Yes, hyung, seriously. Chae and I won’t accept an adult who is too serious.”
Chanyeol rolls his eyes but follows what Jongin says anyway, only because it’s Jongin. He bends down, holds out his hands behind him, and runs, making sure to make the ‘whooshing’ sound with his mouth. Jongin and Chaejin fall back in laughter, and Chanyeol follows them afterwards. He collapses down on the grass, tears of laughter forming in the corners of his eyes when he sees a family walk away.
“Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d do it,” Jongin is on the verge of tears and Chaejin’s out of breath. “Park Chanyeol,” he muses, “Saint member by day, a ninja of Konohagakure by night.”
Chaejin and Jongin ask for an encore, but Chanyeol refuses to do it again unless it’s with the two of them. Together, they run Naruto style towards the river, and Chanyeol pushes Jongin slightly, getting the younger man’s shoes wet.
“No, hyung, you know I don’t wear socks,” Jongin groans as he laughs and takes off his shoes. They walk back squealing in laughter, breaking through the calmness of the evening.
“I’ll buy you a new pair,” Chanyeol promises with a menacing yet apologetic smile. “Thanks for taking us out, Jongin-ah.” Jongin rolls his eyes but doesn’t complain at the sight of the bright smile that he’s grown accustomed to.
They sit there like that, chattering and playing card games, betting on who treats them to lunch next time, all the while fighting for the food and the beer except for Jongin, vowing to be their sober driver. After his third bottle, Chanyeol is knocked out and considered out of their card game. Knowing that it’s not fun with only two players, Chaejin and Jongin give up and choose to talk instead, making sure that when the morning arrives, they’ll convince Chanyeol into thinking that he lost the game.
“This is really nice,” Chaejin comments, as the night air becomes more still and quieter.
“Did you have fun?” Jongin asks, and the smile on Chaejin’s face easily tells him the answer.
She draws out a long breath. “I love this. I mean I wish Sehun was here to enjoy it with us, but I know he’s got some important stuff going on right now. But this is nice. How did you think of doing this?”
Jongin shrugs. “Intuition.”
“Spontaneity is a part of your intuition?” Chaejin says, amused. “That’s cool. I could tell Yeol really needed it, and I didn’t think I needed this either, but I did. Thank you.”
The chattering causes Chanyeol to stir in his sleep, his eyes slightly opening to see the two figures with their backs before him. It takes him a full minute to realise that it’s Chaejin and Jongin, and maybe it’s Chanyeol’s drunken state, but he thinks that they look comfortable together.
“Nah, it’s nothing. All I did was drive everyone crazy. Literally,” Jongin answers. “So what do you think about life outside Saint?”
Jongin’s words take a while to sink in, and when they do, Chanyeol thinks it’s like being splashed by cold water. He freezes, careful not to make a move and give away that he’s conscious. His hazy vision makes it difficult to understand what’s going on, but Jongin’s words ring through the air like church bells. The realisation that they’re talking about life outside Saint makes him alert, wondering if they have plans of running away together.
“I like it,” Chaejin admits, “but only if there’s some sort of familiarity to it. I mean, the outside world is interesting and complex and no one tells you what needs to be done - you’re in charge of it all. It’s weird and disorienting, so I don’t think I can easily fit in.”
Jongin gives her a knowing smile. “What kind of familiarity?”
“Oh, you know…”
“Stabbing people? Stealing from people?” Jongin taunts.
Chanyeol can almost imagine Chaejin rolling her eyes. “No, you idiot, I’d only like the outside world if I was with Yeol, Sehun and you.”
“And me?” Jongin asks with a smile, leaning closer towards her, too close to be called a friendly distance. “Don’t you mean especially me?”
The sudden rapid beating in Chanyeol’s heart tells of Chaejin’s reactions. Chanyeol’s eyes widen at the realisation of it all: Chaejin has feelings for Jongin, but he keeps his mouth shut. His palms are sweating and his heart is racing like there’s not enough time; like it will never win. This is a conversation for another time and another place. Chanyeol secretly hopes that it will never come.
“Sure. Especially you,” Chaejin says teasingly, but there’s a somewhat winning smile on Jongin’s face that makes Chanyeol’s stomach turn. Chaejin quickly turns to look at Chanyeol, and he mentally groans for allowing himself to feel at such a critical moment. Content that Chanyeol is asleep, Chaejin turns to Jongin and sighs.
“What’s wrong?” Jongin asks.
Chaejin can only shake her head. “I think it’s about time we head home, but I don’t know how we’re going to get Yeol into the car.”
Jongin laughs at that, but ten minutes later he’s not the one laughing when his back is hurting.
--
Something is wrong. Some people call it intuition, but Chaejin calls it a fact when she spends the last two days feeling nothing but dread. Chanyeol has had the past few days off work, claiming that he’s sick. The rapid beating of her heart in her chest and the sick twisting of her stomach is more than enough to tell her that he’s not feeling physically sick, but emotionally sick. Chaejin knocks on his door multiple times, but he doesn’t answer. He never answers.
Chanyeol lies curled up in his bed, his head spinning with too many thoughts, making his stomach turn in too many directions. Fear and anxiety, they are two of the emotions that Chanyeol had fought all this time, knowing that these would do nothing but worry his younger sister.
It’s not fair. This isn’t fair. Not once did Chanyeol ever ask to have someone know about his feelings twenty-four-seven. He loves his twin sister more than anyone else, thinks that she’s more beautiful than anyone else, but there’s his feelings towards Jongin, and Chanyeol can’t deny that he spends some of his time thinking about holding or kissing him. Jongin is an important person, so is Sehun, but Chanyeol has never gone to the extent of working for a client just to ensure Sehun’s safety. With Jongin, it’s different. Jongin is Jongin.
The final year of high school. That’s when it had begun - the feelings that haunt him even now. At first they had been beautiful, a little scary, and when Chaejin had asked him back then, Chanyeol merely told her that being in high school made him that happy, and that he fell in love with school. He’s aware that Chaejin must have seen through his lies, but she never said a word about it. The crush on Jongin faded away slowly, but two years later it had reappeared without any invitation. It scared Chanyeol off his feet. It’s enough for Chanyeol to be scared of loving a person when one of the rules is that he’s not allowed to develop such emotions to anyone, especially aman, when Chanyeol had always assumed he was straight. He doesn’t need Chaejin to know that he’s scared. It scares him even more. The friendship bracelet on his wrist feels as cold and hard as a pair of handcuffs.
Maybe if Chanyeol had been normal and didn’t have a twin sister who could feel everything he felt, everything would be less intimidating. He can remember the anxious emotions that he has had to ignore, and all the stress he had felt all these years, working as a Saint member. He would only allow himself to break down once he’s certain that Chaejin is asleep. It’s draining him more than he could ever imagine.
There’s a knock on his door. Chanyeol doesn’t make a move to answer it, knowing that it would only be Jongin or Chaejin, and he doesn’t feel like seeing either.
“Yeol,” Chaejin calls out, “your food is here. Get something to eat, yeah?”
He lets his apologetic heart be the answer to that.
“Seriously? Come out.”
He shakes his head even though he knows that she can’t see him.
“Don’t make me break down your door, Chanyeol.”
The knocking stops. Chanyeol relaxes, thinking that he has finally achieved True Peace. His thoughts prove him wrong when he looks up to see the door forcefully opened, and Chaejin is standing on the other side of it with a very angry look on her face.
“Holy shit,” Chanyeol says, looking at the open door, gaping at his sister. “Seriously?”
Chaejin picks up the tray of food that she’s left on the floor, and puts it down on his bed before she starts yelling at him. “What the fuck? What the fuck, don’t seriously me, Park Chanyeol. What the hell? What’s up with you?”
“I love these heart to heart conversations.”
Chaejin holds him up by the collar, her eyes appearing to be more intimidating in the dark. “Honestly? I’ve been worried sick about you.” She lets him go and Chanyeol takes a deep breath. “Please tell me what’s going on. I don’t know what suddenly came over you.”
“Everything,” Chanyeol deadpans, and Chaejin stares at him blankly. “I’m tired of everything, Chae.”
Chaejin thinks she’s about to cry from hysteria. “So am I! I’m tired of all of this but you don’t see me locking myself up and ignoring everyone else around me.”
“Well done,” Chanyeol snaps at her, and Chaejin steps back in shock. “Well done for being able to cope with everything, and being fine with having no privacy. After all, you can do everything right and you don’t have anything to worry about once you leave Saint, right?”
“What? No… What gave you that idea?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Chanyeol says, suddenly exhausted from having snapped at his sister. She looks at him sadly, and he hates this. He’s the one who hates seeing her sad the most, and yet he’s doing this to her, because she likes Jongin and call him selfish but why can’t he have Jongin? Why can’t he have anything - not even his own emotions?
Chaejin takes a deep breath and kneels before the bed. “The last time you felt this anxious was when we had that task to steal files from a scientist’s lab. Do you remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“It struck me as odd,” Chaejin admits, looking into his eyes, “why you felt that way in the middle of a mission. I know you worry for me before and after we have missions to carry out, but never during a mission. Then I realised why.”
“Why?” Chanyeol asks dumbly, even though he knows that Chaejin also knows.
“Kim Junmyeon, huh,” Chaejin says with a hum. “Jongin’s uncle. You knew it was him when I opened the last drawer and you saw some of the photos. How did you know it was him?”
“How did you think of looking him up?” Chanyeol asks, curious.
Chaejin shrugs. “I had to figure out what scared you so much.”
“I met him before,” Chanyeol admits, and Chaejin’s eyes widen at that. “I’ll be honest. In the past, I’ve looked for Jongin’s connections in the outside world. I’ve looked into his DNA tests to see his relations in hopes to find someone.”
This is the first time Chaejin is hearing about this, and she’s not sure of what to feel. “Why?” she asks weakly.
“Isn’t it obvious? I didn’t want him to be a Saint member,” Chanyeol answers, all the energy draining out of him. “I wanted him to have a family. I loved having him around, but I didn’t want him to become one of us who have lost that innocence and love for the world.”
Chaejin sits up. “He hasn’t, though. You were wrong about that.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol nods, “I was. But I wanted to see if I could find anyone who would take him in one day, and I found him. Kim Junmyeon. Only… only I could introduce myself as Chanyeol, but I couldn’t give him Jongin… I couldn’t say that I knew Jongin. I was selfish.”
“That’s why seeing him unnerved you,” Chaejin whispers, and Chanyeol nods. Chaejin sits there on the floor, deep in thought, watching as Chanyeol eats his dinner. She takes a deep breath, surprised at the fact that she hadn’t considered Jongin’s other relatives or a life for him outside Saint from a younger age. She had always known that he was an orphan and that was enough. No one else from his family wanted him.
But maybe they did, but Chaejin had never bothered to find out. She looks up at Chanyeol, smiling at the scraps of food on the corner of his mouth, fighting every urge to clean it up for him. The realisation hits her quickly then, and her eyes follow Chanyeol from head to toe.
For someone to go to that extent… did Chanyeol only see Jongin as a friend?
“I don’t know,” Chanyeol admits, and Chaejin freezes upon realising that she had said that aloud. “I wish I knew, Chae.”
The sick twisting feeling on the pit of Chaejin’s stomach returns.
--
The conversation that was meant to fix things only made everything more complicated. Learning about Chanyeol’s feelings for Jongin changes everything, hence why Chaejin spends too many nights lying down in her bed, neglecting sleep as she lets her thoughts consume her. Endless questions come to mind: what is the real reason that Chanyeol is working for Lu Han? If Chanyeol likes Jongin and he knows that Chaejin feels the same, then why would he allow them to have so much alone time together? Does Jongin even like either of them? But the question that haunts Chaejin the most is one that she’s considered time and time again, and it’s like her worst fears are confirmed:
Which one of the twins actually likes Jongin?
Maybe both of them could like him. It’s a possibility. But Chaejin can’t help but doubt the validity of her feelings - what if it’s Chanyeol who has romantic feelings for Jongin, and because of their empathy, Chaejin also can’t help but fall for Jongin? Then does that mean that Chaejin never really liked Jongin at all?
It’s been three days since the conversation happened. Chanyeol and Chaejin walk past each other without sparing the other a glance, and Chaejin knows that it’s nothing personal. Chanyeol needs more space with all of the confusion and anxiety that he’s feeling that Chaejin doesn’t bother telling him that she’s thought she had feelings for Jongin. Chanyeol doesn’t need that confusion.
Thankfully, Sehun comes back in the late afternoon, so Chaejin spends the morning in Jongin’s room instead. As they have done in the past few weeks, they continue their investigation on Kim Junmyeon. All this time, Chaejin manages to keep Junmyeon’s family line hidden away from Jongin, knowing that now is not yet the time to reveal such a thing.
“Hey, Chae,” Jongin says, looking up from his laptop. “You know how Junmyeon started his own pharmaceutical company, Carna?”
Chaejin hums to show that she’s listening.
“He started a few months after working for Apollo Pharmaceuticals,” Jongin says, and Chaejin rushes to look at the screen, ignoring the concept of personal space. Her eyes widen at the realisation that Jongin’s right, and what kind of coincidence is this?
“This is not a coincidence,” Jongin says, as if reading her mind. Chaejin swallows the lump forming in her throat, trying to calm herself. “He used to work as one of the chemists and he helped with making medicine. He was one of their best. Chanyeol keeps talking about Lu Han and how nice he is to his employees, but what changed? What made Junmyeon the target of a Saint mission?”
“Lu Han,” says a voice, and they turn at the sound of Sehun’s voice. The welcome backs die in the back of their throats and Sehun looks like he hates being back here. “The answer to everything is Lu Han.” He turns to look at Chaejin, his expression neutral. “You got told to go and steal files from Kim Junmyeon the day after you met Lu Han, yet you were never told who hired you to steal that, right?”
Chaejin’s eyes widen in realisation, as the pieces begin to slowly fall into place.
“That’s not all,” joins another voice, and Sehun jumps at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice. The oldest nods at Sehun, acknowledging his return, before attending to the matter at hand. “Yesterday, I managed to get a copy of his files. If I may?”
Jongin nods and offers his laptop. Chanyeol inserts his flash drive and the four of them gather around Jongin’s laptop. Lu Han’s files pop up within the next minute, and Chanyeol clicks the one that has gotten attention. Jongin connects the laptop to his television, and the file comes up after a few moments.
“Dear xxxx,
I have written to confirm my decision regarding the matter. Although K J has been a very valuable member to our cause, we must continue on this journey without him. Give him his pay for this month, but nothing more. Try to ensure that the other large companies won’t employ him. We cannot have the formula fall in another’s hands. Having him out in the open is more than enough. Tell him that we have enjoyed and appreciated his company in Apollo Pharmaceuticals, but his talent is beneficial for another company. Do not give him any answers other than that. Make it a brief meeting.
Lu Han.”
The signature at the bottom of the message is unmistakable, and Chaejin feels sick to the pit of her stomach. That’s Jongin’s uncle, and the fact that Lu Han could fire him for… what?
“Here’s another one,” Chanyeol says in a monotonous voice, “if it wasn’t the weekend today, I would have found it difficult to go to work after seeing this.”
“Dear xxxx,
I have thought of a solution for our problem once and for all. There is an organisation S who specialise in everything that I need. I met them yesterday and today they are carrying the first of my missions: to go into C pharmacy and steal K J’s files. At least then, he will have no proof that he formulated everything, and the only files for the product will be in our possession.
I know of the doubts that cloud of your mind. What if K J only makes more files or formula for the product? Perhaps a week before the launch, I will get the S organisation to eliminate the problem once and for all, and Apollo will continue on its bright journey with the rest of the world with his creation, only he has to pay the price for it. I will let you know how it goes.
Lu Han.”
“Shit,” Chaejin swears under her breath, and Jongin nods numbly. “Does he mean…?”
“Murder?” Sehun asks. He has always been the one to speak the words that no one dares to say. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” He pauses, checking that he has all their attention. He does, especially after saying words like those. “After all, as my trip to China has told me - he’s the same man who was responsible for your parents’ deaths and my dad’s, I mean, what else would you expect?”
A stunned silence envelops the room.
--
The beginning of the end comes in the form of a text message. It’s an ominous-sounding bzzz that excuses Kim Jongin out from the rooftop, in the middle of Sehun talking about his adventures in China with a very solemn look on his face. Sehun hadn’t been able to smile lately, and Chaejin can’t blame him. It’s an almost impossible feat with everything that’s going on, but Chanyeol and Jongin manage to keep the smiles on their faces, probably for their sake more than their own.
Chaejin excuses herself a few moments later, claiming that she needs to go to the toilet but Chanyeol catches her eye. She freezes but he stares at her, his wide brown eyes unmoving, until she bites her lip and shrugs before she leaves. She practically sprints once she’s inside the building, the feeling of worry and fear growing in the pit of her stomach, threatening to eat her alive.
She stops when she reaches the outside of the meeting room, leaning her head against the door, desperate to catch pieces of their conversation. She wonders what kind of mission it is that requires the help of Saint’s golden boy. When the meeting ends and the door opens, Jongin acts like he has been expecting Chaejin to be there, and he grabs her hand, leading her away from the room without sparing her a glance. He leads her to his bedroom, where he locks the doors and shut the blinds before he makes her sit down on the bed. Everything about it feels grave, and Chaejin knows that Chanyeol will look for her now, unable to keep his worries about her at bay.
“It was just as we expected,” Jongin says, looking into Chaejin’s eyes. They hold them there, staring, unmoving, hoping it would bring something like comfort into his soul. They don’t - not as much as they should.
“Yeah?”
Jongin lets out a deep breath, maintaining his patience until Sehun and Chanyeol walk into his room. Jongin quickly lets them in, like they’re expected visitors.
“Lu Han has asked for me to kill Kim Junmyeon,” Jongin says slowly, and there are no audible gasps of terror like there would be in movies. There are only empty stares and hollow hearts, silences that hold more meaning than anything else.
“You can’t,” Sehun, Chaejin and Chanyeol say in unison after a long pause. Jongin stares at them, slightly surprised by their timing, even more by their words.
“You can’t comply to something that that murderer wants,” Sehun reasons.
Chanyeol takes a deep breath and exchanges a look with Chaejin. He nods, giving her the permission.
“You can’t murder your own uncle, Jongin,” Chaejin says. Sehun takes a sharp intake of breath, and Chaejin swears that Jongin could have snapped his neck at the sudden turn of his head to stare at her.
“What did you say?” Jongin asks slowly, carefully, and Chaejin turns rigid. It’s Chanyeol’s cue to speak.
“Junmyeon is your uncle, Jongin-ah.” Chanyeol takes a deep breath as Jongin turns his attention to the older twin. “Did Lu Han specifically ask for you?” Jongin nods as an answer, and Chanyeol wonders if it’s acceptable to smash his head against the wall at this very instant. “Then Lu Han knows.”
“He knows what?” Sehun asks, and Chanyeol looks like every word that comes out of his mouth is draining him.
“He knows that I went into his files. He knows that Junmyeon is Jongin’s uncle. He knows,” Chanyeol pauses, looking at everyone in the room before his gaze stops on Jongin alone. “I was worried that he would kill you, but I can see that he’s crueler than that. He wants you alive after you’ve killed a person. He wants to destroy you alive. It doesn’t matter if you leave Saint later on, because this will stay with you for the rest of your life.”
There are sharp intakes of breaths in the room, as if their bodies don’t get enough of oxygen. Chaejin looks around, almost being able to hear the gears turning in their heads, trying to come up with a plan. There has never been any news about Saint refusing a client, and they can’t just ignore Lu Han’s request or he might kill one of them instead.
“Alright,” Chanyeol breathes out after a long pause, “I have a plan.”
--
It’s 2:30 A.M., and Chanyeol is standing outside in the rooftop, all by himself. Seoul is slightly quieter, and the roads aren’t congested, making Chanyeol feel better and less suffocated. It’s hard to feel this way, especially after finding out about the identity of his parents’ murderer.
The same man that he had worked for. The same man he had been kind to, so close to defeating, if needed, but he hadn’t found any substantial evidence until recently. He was so close, and now he can’t help but feel responsible for this mess.
Not to mention that the same murderer had requested for Jongin to murder his own uncle. Jongin! The nerve!Between the twins, Chanyeol had always considered himself as the more careful, the more calculating twin between the pair, even if he was friends with all of their colleagues at Saint. He rarely ever gets angry, but furious is an understatement to the emotion that’s consuming him now.
“Whoa, calm down there, tiger.”
Chanyeol turns his head to see Jongin making his way towards him, wearing his Spongebob Squarepants pyjamas. If he wasn’t so angry, he would have burst out into laughter at the sight of it.
“I can tell what you’re thinking, but no judging.”
“The one time I see you wearing clothes for sleeping, and you’re wearing this?”
“I said no judging,” Jongin huffs, before wrapping a blanket around Chanyeol’s shoulders to prevent him from catching a cold. “What are you thinking about, hyung? Your parents?”
Chanyeol hums, before he nods and adds, “and you.”
“Me?”
Chanyeol nods once again, knowing that the following words that he is about to say are the most important words he would ever utter in his entire life. “I always think about my family. I always think about you. But right now, it’s leaning more towards you, because not much can be done about my parents other than revenge.” He pauses, checking that Jongin’s attention is still on him. “You, however, are very much alive. I need to protect that more than anything else.”
Jongin wonders if he should really play this role, but seeing as how Chanyeol is observing him, waiting for him to say something, he decides to fulfill the unspoken dialogue that’s already been there for as long as either of them can remember. “Why?”
“Because I love you, Jongin-ah-”
Like most first kisses, it’s described as the final puzzle piece coming into place. Their kiss is slow, painfully languid, and something inside Chanyeol begins to break. Kim Jongin. The two words that make up the name of not only a person, but in Chanyeol’s life, it’s different. Kim Jongin is a period of time, scattered memories of happiness, sadness, fear, thrill and confusion. It’s the feeling that is suddenly coming to an end as they take the final step that takes the form of a kiss more bittersweet than anything else. For most couples, their first kisses indicate the start of a beautiful and fruitful relationship. For Chanyeol and Jongin, it marks the end of all the possibilities.
When Jongin breaks their kiss, the sadness and guilt in his eyes are unmistakable. “Hyung, I love you, too… but not like that.”
“I…”
“And you don’t love me like that either, do you?” Jongin asks in a gentle voice. Chanyeol is speechless. All those times that he spent thinking about Jongin - were those an illusion?
“I love you,” Jongin says, and it sounds more painful than anything Chanyeol has heard. He knows the word that’s about to come next, but he wishes that it doesn’t come. It does anyway. “But neither of us love each other that way. We love each other as brothers… you might have confused your love for me like that.”
Chanyeol blinks, knowing that Jongin is probably right, but… but still-
“I know what I’m talking about, hyung, because I’m in love with Chaejin.”
“Oh.” Chanyeol blinks, letting it all sink in. Knowing that Chaejin is asleep, Chanyeol takes a deep breath, enjoying the body and emotions that are all his. He should be feeling something right now like heartbreak, but he isn’t. He’s staring at Jongin in awe, like it’s all falling to place, and before he knew it, there’s a smile forming on his lips.
“We’ll leave Saint one day,” Jongin says with a wistful smile. “So that we won’t get caught and be punished for all of this. Hyung… I want to start a life with her one day.”
Chanyeol nods robotically, unable to form any words. Jongin frowns, taking the older’s hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. “Are you okay?”
“Sorry. Let me just… Let me think about all of this for a moment, okay? I’ve been convinced for years that I like you, but…”
“I know,” Jongin says with a sad smile, much to Chanyeol’s surprise. “I’ve always known. But I didn’t know how to say it, or how to approach you… I think a small part of you has always known, though, that what you feel for me isn’t like that. You’ve always treated me like a younger brother, and I don’t see that changing any time in the future even if we were to give us a chance.”
“You’re right,” Chanyeol says in a somewhat defeated yet relieved voice, like everything is falling into place. Jongin gives him an encouraging smile, and a worried look.
“But, hyung, be careful… all this time, even though I’m not as close to you as Chae is, I’ve been able to pick up on your emotions… You know how dangerous it can be… especially when there are people like Lu Han in the world.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Chanyeol says in a playful tone, ruffling Jongin’s hair who whines in response. They stare out at the Seoul skyline, their breaths becoming quieter and quieter. Jongin looks up at his best friend in concern, knowing that Chanyeol’s worries are too heavy for any human being to take.
--
They leave for Lu Han’s mansion an hour later. Chanyeol is tapping his foot impatiently outside his sister’s door, thinking that she’s probably slept too much once again. When her door opens to reveal Chaejin with sleepless eyes, Chanyeol does a double-take, wondering what on earth took her so long to get prepared.
“Let’s go,” Chaejin says in an emotionless voice. It’s her default tone in the last moment before she starts a Saint mission. It’s the first time that Chanyeol is joining her out on the field instead of staying in their headquarters, and it continues to make him feel uneasy. Chaejin, Sehun and Jongin had repeatedly told him that it’s better if he’s there with them, since this is a more personal mission: one that comes down to the very core of their involvement in Saint.
“Chae,” Chanyeol puts a hand on her wrist that suddenly feels too small, too fragile. She looks up at her older brother, meeting his worried and doubtful eyes. “Are you sure this will be okay? Why don’t I stay behind?”
“You can’t,” Chaejin says with a shaky voice, and Chanyeol doesn’t think that it’s because of the cold. “I need you there. I need you with me or I won’t be able to do it.”
The fear in both of their hearts is definite, and Chanyeol takes that short moment to embrace his sister in his arms. Chaejin fights back tears, knowing that Chanyeol is not the one for moments like these. “You’re going to make me cry,” she mumbles.
“Can’t have that, can we?” Chanyeol jokes, patting his sister’s head before letting her go. Chaejin is all smiles and jokes but her hold on Chanyeol’s hand is tighter than anything else.
--
It’s two days until the release of Lu Han’s product, so the security is not working to their liking. Thankfully, they have experienced and skilfull members from Saint, making Chanyeol feel slightly more relieved of his anxieties. Jongin is the first one to leave their car, quickly knocking out the guards outside the gate in two minutes flat. Sehun joins soon after, taking down the ones who are falling asleep on the job, and those who are working around the gardens and the pool.
Finally, the twins get out of the vehicle to join the scene. By the time they get inside Lu Han’s mansions, all of his guards are knocked out. There’s no time for them to be impressed as they look around the mansion and try to work out which of the three floors Lu Han would be staying in. Judging by the number of guards, Lu Han would have to be inside the mansion instead of his office. Chanyeol is somewhat grateful that on the night of the party, it had been revealed that Lu Han did not have any family members living under his roof. There will be no innocent deaths tonight.
The four Saint members look at each other, nodding briefly before splitting up to look for their prey. Sehun and Chaejin stay on the ground floor, whereas Chanyeol and Jongin take the second. Both of the twins are unusually calm, to both of their surprise. All four of them go through each room quietly and diligently, making sure to check every nook and cranny. The knife in Chanyeol’s pocket feels heavy, but the gun in his hand weighs like a ton. He has never gone out of his way for a mission like this.
As Chanyeol and Jongin begin to look through the rooms on the third floor, there’s a clatter on the first floor and everything stops.
“Oh, God,” Chanyeol breathes out as he and Jongin sprint down the stairs. He mentally curses himself for having chosen to go to the third floor in that moment, now that they have more flights of stairs separating them from the action. They see the figure of a person running through the hall, and they realise with a shock that it’s Lu Han, and their footsteps down the stairs become more urgent. No more games of hide and seek, now it’s only a game of cat and mouse.
Chaejin and Sehun pursue the man who retreats into various rooms, always making sure to close the door behind him, but Chaejin always manages to break them down. Chanyeol and Jongin join the two soon after, their long legs closing the distance between them, just in time to see Lu Han retreat into his bathroom. Chaejin knocks down the final door separating them from their target, until there’s a sharp and loud bang! that Chanyeol is more than familiar with.
His ears are ringing as his legs give out beneath him. Chanyeol thinks he can hear Jongin yelling and Sehun cursing repeatedly. Chanyeol tries to walk but his legs fail him. He can see Sehun far ahead, shooting Lu Han repeatedly in the chest, the pool of blood around him becoming bigger by the second.
But there’s another pool of blood, and it’s one that Chanyeol is more concerned about. Chaejin is lying on her back, her breathing becoming more ragged with every passing second. Her eyes are searching the room, searching for her brother, until Jongin wraps his arm around Chanyeol and helps him walk towards his wounded sister.
“Chanyeol…”
“Oh, God,” Jongin’s voice cracks, and Chanyeol can only stare at his sister. All thoughts of first aid are gone now, looking at the location of the hole on her chest.
“Chanyeol…”
It’s only then that Chanyeol finally steps forward to take his younger sister in his arms. “Oh, God, Chaejin.” He takes off his jacket, putting it on top of her chest to apply pressure. She helplessly shakes her head at him.
“That’s your favourite… jacket…”
“Chaejin,” Chanyeol grits his teeth, looking around the bathroom for the first aid kit. Jongin gives it to him soon after.
“I…” Chaejin’s voice cracks at the sight of her brother and friends before her dying body. “It was… nice… meeting you.”
“Chaejin, don’t say that,” Jongin scolds her, but she smiles at him.
“Especially you,” she says the same words from their conversation at the Han River. Chanyeol holds back a sob as Chaejin’s breathing begins to slow down, and she looks at him with sad, sorrowful eyes.
“I love you,” she whispers to no one in particular - or all of them - they will never know, because all the breath in her body leaves her in a definite sigh.
The final emotion that Chaejin and Chanyeol feel together is something that Chanyeol has never anticipated. It’s calm, grateful, it feels like it’s all coming together yet slowly falling apart. It’s peace.
Chanyeol knows what it’s like to lose someone. He remembers the death of his parents, no matter how hard he tries to forget it. The feeling of grief he had felt back then is nothing in comparison to this moment. Everything in his very being breaks. Chanyeol starts to scream, his voice getting louder and louder with every passing moment, sobs racking through his body as he feels every single part of him break. He had never felt anything like this before: it’s as if his lungs, heart and bones are being broken, pieces of Chaejin that have been with him are being taken away without his consent.
Chaejin had never been a part of Chanyeol. She is not a piece of Chanyeol’s heart. She had been with him for so long, embedded into his very being, into his very soul, that there is no such thing as being separated from her. Hearing Chaejin’s last breath was not the sign of her death - this was. The feeling that’s overwhelming Chanyeol now, as his body begins to feel too big for one soul, the knowledge that no one else is feeling what he’s feeling, and the invisible string that connects their hearts together has been snipped, one half of it permanently gone.
Jongin tries to hold him now, and there are tears mixed with blood on the bathroom floor. Chanyeol can vaguely hear his best friend telling them that they have to clean evidence, and that they have to get Chaejin out of here so that she won’t die as a suspect. Chanyeol’s vision begins to blur, and Jongin pulls him up to his legs. Chanyeol wipes all his tears away and gets working.
They wash Chaejin’s blood off the bathroom floor with various chemicals and get rid of all the traces of their DNA in the crime scene. Sehun is entrusted to carry Chaejin’s body, knowing that both Chanyeol and Jongin are too unstable to do so. Jongin watches in shock as Chanyeol mechanically walks to Lu Han’s room and deletes all CCTV footages inside the mansion, and Chanyeol calls their colleague, Kim Minseok, to delete all CCTV footages around Lu Han’s neighbourhood with no further questions asked.
They leave Lu Han’s mansion with no trace except for their broken hearts.
--
“Hey, Chanyeol, how are you?” A cheerful Kim Minseok makes conversation as Chanyeol visits the Saint headquarters for the first time in six months. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol says with a sad smile on his face. “Thanks for helping me… on that night.”
Minseok’s face is crestfallen as he nods. “I couldn’t have her be a suspect in the view of the public.”
“Thank you,” Chanyeol says, bowing. Minseok takes that as a cue to leave the former Saint member alone. Chanyeol walks through the hallways, fighting down the feeling of nostalgia along with the nausea. It’s his first time visiting in six months, so he never got the chance to get all his things and had to survive from borrowing Jongin and Sehun’s things instead. Now that they live in a small apartment recommended by Kim Junmyeon, life is slowly… getting there. Somewhere.
His uncle makes his way towards him, but Chanyeol takes the sharp right, ignoring his relative and going into his room instead. He packs up some of his books along with his laptop, his clothes and a few photo albums that he doesn’t take a look at. His uncle is still standing out in the hallway but Chanyeol takes no notice of him as he goes through Chaejin’s room. He tries not to notice her pile of dirty laundry on the floor, or her unmade bed, or her very scent still lingering in the air. What catches his eye though, is the small envelope sitting on the drawer next to her bed.
It’s addressed to him.
“Dear Yeol,
I’ve never written a letter, but I guess there’s a first time for everything, right? All this time I haven’t been sure when I should give this to you, but I’ve decided once and for all that after tonight, I will give this to you.
You are the most important person in my life, Yeol~ Ahhh, that sounds so sappy, I’m sorry. I’m trying to put the words that I need to say here but I’m doing a terrible job, I think.
These past few weeks, I’m sure that the four of us can agree on one thing - our time at Saint is coming to an end… sort of. Not sure. I think it is, well only because Jongin and I talk a lot about it. I love being a Saint member, and I’m sure that you do, too. But it’s not worth it to stay in an organisation that stops you from reaching your full potential.
I don’t mean in the way in which you had to stop yourself from becoming a scientist. I mean this in the way that we’ve all had to stop ourselves from falling in love. Yeol-ah, please don’t be scared of falling in love. It can be terrifying and nerve-wrecking, but when it happens, it happens. Everything begins to make sense and everything feels at peace.
I’m in love with Jongin-ah, Yeol. I’m sorry if this might come as a shock to you. I know that for a long time now, you’ve also liked him - or thought that you liked him. I’m scared if my feelings influenced how you feel towards Jongin, but I hope we can talk about this. I’ve had my own alone moments with him, trying to find the validity of my own emotions, and they proved to be quite right.
I know that between the two of us, I’ve always seemed like I enjoyed our missions too much to be called humane. If I’m being honest, I can agree with that, but with everything that I’m feeling and discovering right now - there is more to life than following what someone has asked us to do. I know that it’s confusing for you, you might even be angry, but I can’t ignore myself anymore, when all that my very soul and very being longs for is Jongin.
I hope that you’ll understand me and that you won’t tell uncle on me. I know that you try your best to get both of us out of trouble, always, so you must feel uncomfortable holding a secret this big… But it’s not that bad, I promise. Once you find a person that you truly love, it’ll all make sense. I’m sorry, Yeol, if I’m taking Jongin away from you. But if you don’t want me to be with him, then I’ll understand. You’ll always remain as the most important person in my life. I love you.
Chaejin. ”
It’s still a fresh wound on Chanyeol’s heart, and he reckons that it will be for a long time. He packs up the letter, careful not to crumple it, taking care of his sister’s words that he will never hear her say to him in this lifetime. Chanyeol takes some of Chaejin’s favourite objects, the ones that he knows she would take with him if they were to leave Saint, only with less clothes. Chanyeol leaves the building without taking another glance at the people inside it, knowing that they are looking at him with pitiful looks, the same way that he and Chaejin used to look at them in the past.
--
“Dude, what the hell is this?” Sehun asks, holding up the piece of string before him.
“It’s a friendship bracelet, Sehun-ah,” Jongin says with a bright smile on his face, bringing up his wrist to show his. “Chae picked it out for all of us.”
Sehun scoffs, but puts it on anyway, all the while giving Chanyeol a judging look. “You’re six months late in giving this to me?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “Not my fault.”
“So that explains why she was wearing this when we buried her,” Sehun says, finally understanding. “No wonder it looked so tacky.”
“Hush, Sehun-ah, or she’ll haunt you,” Jongin says with a scolding tone.
Sehun laughs. “Yeah, right. That would actually be good. I miss her.”
“Yeah, me too,” Chanyeol says with a deep sigh. Jongin takes a glance at him from the corner of his eyes and asks,
“So did you finally read her letter?”
“Yeah.”
“What did she say?” Sehun asks, interested. Both Sehun and Jongin had seen the letter before Chanyeol, since they had gone back to the headquarters before Chanyeol did. Once seeing that it was addressed to Chaejin’s older brother, however, they decided that it was not right for them to read it.
“She said that you’re both fucking idiots,” Chanyeol says with a scoff.
“That little shit,” Sehun mutters under his breath, just as Jongin mutters,
“It’s just like her to say that.”
Chanyeol laughs at their reactions, shaking his head. “Nah. She just talked about how we shouldn’t stay in an organisation that forbids us from falling in love. All the like. Everything we’ve talked about recently, basically.”
“That’s good,” Sehun says with a wistful smile. “She must be so proud of us right now, then.”
“Especially me,” Jongin retorts, and Chanyeol gives him a threatening look. Sehun laughs before telling them off for goofing around. They continue to unpack Chanyeol’s belongings into their new apartment. Jongin busies himself with folding Chanyeol’s clothes, and Chanyeol focuses on hanging pictures on the wall, making sure to put a picture of Chaejin on their small dining table for four people.
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