Upside down.
So shit salad fuck house this last week has been a insane roller coaster of emotion for me. Let's start it out! YEAH!
So I am totally happy with my life as of last Monday when I get a phone call from my girlfriend whom I love to no end with all of my heart, and she tells me that she cheated on me with a friend of mine named Chris Wise. Amazing. Yes I know.
I yell but not much, and want to cry but I don't. I call Chris and tell him Buxton and BTEOT will never tour or play together at all. I tell him toshut the fuck up and die. I tell him he fucked up the best thing I had. I tell him never to talk to me again and then I hang up. I call Kellen and she wants to come over. She does. A lot of me not talking goes on. Then I talk, and somehow I get happy. No idea how, but I do. We hang out and she leaves as my girlfriend, and we are happy.
The next day I feel like a fucking piece. I call her when I am at work and tell her I have to see her, and she says that she will try to come over. An hour later on the register 3 in the local Alvin Super Wal - Wart stands a teary eyed girl named Kellen looking at me. My heart says "LATER!"and I tell her to wait in the car until I get off.
We go to my house and I get mad. I tell he how I feel and tell her how fucked up her and Chris are, I tell her I hope she knows what she has messed up, I begin to cry hard. I have never cried in front of Kellen at all in my life, and this is like CRYING crying. So we lie there with me sad and her sad. She satys the night and leaves in the morning.
Next day I wake up to Kellen picking me up to go to her house for Thanksgiving. Half the day I am happy half the day I hate every single thing the exsits. I want to walk to Chris's house and punch him till he doesn't move anymore. I want to beat him until I fall down screaming and crying about how sorry I am for doing what I did to him... but I don't. Instead Kellen and I watch a movie, then go to bed, but I don't tuck her in cause I can't stand the though of going in her room now. I know, it's fucking horrible.
I wake up to Kellen again! I don;t want to kiss, I don't want to hug, I don't want any of it. I walk with her holding hands to the bay feeling compleatly fake. Like our relationship is nothing, and is trying way to hard to be something. I want to get out of her house. We do. We go to the mall to eat on the busiest shopping day of the year. I want to scream the whole time and punch people. I want to run home. When I do get home put on music and automaticly start to cry, and ask the reocurring quesion of "why is this happening?????""!!!!!"!"!"!LWPK
But it's ok now. She did what she did, and I will give her one more chance and one is all.
If she does it again it is her fault she will be single.
No matter how much I want to be with her, if she does it again I will leave. I will want to die, but I will leave. If she does it again it is her asking me to leave with a gun to my head. That's about what it will take for me to leave this girl.
I am taking a chance and I know it. You might think I am dumb, and I know it. I have done this before and it always has turned out wrong, but every person in this world is different. So I will take this chance and pray every single day that it works, and that friends won;t stab friends in the back, and that girlfriends won't forget much much there boyfriends love them and do everything and would do anything for them. I fell ok at this moment so I don;t know why I wrote a tone of negitivity.
I wasn't looking fir sympathy. I just thought everyone might want to know.
Kellen, I still love you and I swear if we don't work I will hate you for ruining it, because the only way I will leave is if you cheat on me again, and I have nothing to do with those actions. Therefor you would be the one ruining it.
Chris, I don't want to see you for a while, a long while. I would like it if you told people you wern't my friend right now. I will get over it one day I swear, but I don't want to chance me punching you when I see you. So just stay away from me, until I want to see you again. I wish you never busted a move on my girlfriend. Blah bla ha labnala hahahahaha.
Sorry everyone. That's all now.
Also: I am writting new music for Bteot and I have 5 minutes of a 15 - 20 minute song done as of now. I am very excited.
I'm gonna call Kellen. Bye. - Stefan
So I am totally happy with my life as of last Monday when I get a phone call from my girlfriend whom I love to no end with all of my heart, and she tells me that she cheated on me with a friend of mine named Chris Wise. Amazing. Yes I know.
I yell but not much, and want to cry but I don't. I call Chris and tell him Buxton and BTEOT will never tour or play together at all. I tell him toshut the fuck up and die. I tell him he fucked up the best thing I had. I tell him never to talk to me again and then I hang up. I call Kellen and she wants to come over. She does. A lot of me not talking goes on. Then I talk, and somehow I get happy. No idea how, but I do. We hang out and she leaves as my girlfriend, and we are happy.
The next day I feel like a fucking piece. I call her when I am at work and tell her I have to see her, and she says that she will try to come over. An hour later on the register 3 in the local Alvin Super Wal - Wart stands a teary eyed girl named Kellen looking at me. My heart says "LATER!"and I tell her to wait in the car until I get off.
We go to my house and I get mad. I tell he how I feel and tell her how fucked up her and Chris are, I tell her I hope she knows what she has messed up, I begin to cry hard. I have never cried in front of Kellen at all in my life, and this is like CRYING crying. So we lie there with me sad and her sad. She satys the night and leaves in the morning.
Next day I wake up to Kellen picking me up to go to her house for Thanksgiving. Half the day I am happy half the day I hate every single thing the exsits. I want to walk to Chris's house and punch him till he doesn't move anymore. I want to beat him until I fall down screaming and crying about how sorry I am for doing what I did to him... but I don't. Instead Kellen and I watch a movie, then go to bed, but I don't tuck her in cause I can't stand the though of going in her room now. I know, it's fucking horrible.
I wake up to Kellen again! I don;t want to kiss, I don't want to hug, I don't want any of it. I walk with her holding hands to the bay feeling compleatly fake. Like our relationship is nothing, and is trying way to hard to be something. I want to get out of her house. We do. We go to the mall to eat on the busiest shopping day of the year. I want to scream the whole time and punch people. I want to run home. When I do get home put on music and automaticly start to cry, and ask the reocurring quesion of "why is this happening?????""!!!!!"!"!"!LWPK
But it's ok now. She did what she did, and I will give her one more chance and one is all.
If she does it again it is her fault she will be single.
No matter how much I want to be with her, if she does it again I will leave. I will want to die, but I will leave. If she does it again it is her asking me to leave with a gun to my head. That's about what it will take for me to leave this girl.
I am taking a chance and I know it. You might think I am dumb, and I know it. I have done this before and it always has turned out wrong, but every person in this world is different. So I will take this chance and pray every single day that it works, and that friends won;t stab friends in the back, and that girlfriends won't forget much much there boyfriends love them and do everything and would do anything for them. I fell ok at this moment so I don;t know why I wrote a tone of negitivity.
I wasn't looking fir sympathy. I just thought everyone might want to know.
Kellen, I still love you and I swear if we don't work I will hate you for ruining it, because the only way I will leave is if you cheat on me again, and I have nothing to do with those actions. Therefor you would be the one ruining it.
Chris, I don't want to see you for a while, a long while. I would like it if you told people you wern't my friend right now. I will get over it one day I swear, but I don't want to chance me punching you when I see you. So just stay away from me, until I want to see you again. I wish you never busted a move on my girlfriend. Blah bla ha labnala hahahahaha.
Sorry everyone. That's all now.
Also: I am writting new music for Bteot and I have 5 minutes of a 15 - 20 minute song done as of now. I am very excited.
I'm gonna call Kellen. Bye. - Stefan