(no subject)
Oh my God.
I cannot believe it still hurts.
I called him and we talked and at first I was angry, but you know what? I was only angry because he was making bad decisions. Okay, it sounds strange to say that his newfound Christianity and his dating a girl he loves are bad decisions, but they are. He's just slapping a band-aid on his problems. Unhappy with the way he's living his life? Slap! Christianity! Lonely? Slap! Girlfriend! He doesn't take the time to think of how he's affecting others. Even if he and Bri are in love, he told me he just felt lonely. That is not a reason to be with someone. And there is certainly never any reason to be with someone that fast after coming out of a serious relationship. Our relationship was serious. I don't care how he acts now. I was in it and I was in it all the way. I know that I loved him and I know that he loved me.
We're supposedly "cool" now. And I'm glad. I'm honestly very happy that I can talk to him and no longer wish we were together. And I'm glad that we're not angry with one another. Where we are is perfect. It's just hard to keep it that way when all I want to do is smack some sense into the boy. But as he so aptly put it "Gillian, we don't date anymore."
Jackass. I know we don't date anymore. But telling a person that you love them and miss them and then having sex with that person supposedly for that reason should still mean something. That's a definite connection that has to weaken before you can break it. But Josh acts like that was nothing. Like he could just take a day, and then be done.
It still really hurts.
I cannot believe it still hurts.
I called him and we talked and at first I was angry, but you know what? I was only angry because he was making bad decisions. Okay, it sounds strange to say that his newfound Christianity and his dating a girl he loves are bad decisions, but they are. He's just slapping a band-aid on his problems. Unhappy with the way he's living his life? Slap! Christianity! Lonely? Slap! Girlfriend! He doesn't take the time to think of how he's affecting others. Even if he and Bri are in love, he told me he just felt lonely. That is not a reason to be with someone. And there is certainly never any reason to be with someone that fast after coming out of a serious relationship. Our relationship was serious. I don't care how he acts now. I was in it and I was in it all the way. I know that I loved him and I know that he loved me.
We're supposedly "cool" now. And I'm glad. I'm honestly very happy that I can talk to him and no longer wish we were together. And I'm glad that we're not angry with one another. Where we are is perfect. It's just hard to keep it that way when all I want to do is smack some sense into the boy. But as he so aptly put it "Gillian, we don't date anymore."
Jackass. I know we don't date anymore. But telling a person that you love them and miss them and then having sex with that person supposedly for that reason should still mean something. That's a definite connection that has to weaken before you can break it. But Josh acts like that was nothing. Like he could just take a day, and then be done.
It still really hurts.