(no subject)
So I've decided that I'm going to start writing in my journal more often. Most likely won't go for very long. Haha. Oh well. I'll at least write today because I've just got so many thoughts going through my head. Today is Valentine's Day. Woo hoo....not. I hate Valentine's Day. It's the one day out of the year that I feel truly alone. I do tell my friends that I hate Valentine's Day, but I still try to have fun with them. I don't think I'd ever be able to tell them how alone and scared I feel. I'm scared because I think that I might always be alone for the rest of my life. I mean, what if I am? I don't think I could live with that. Also, I want to be with Chris so bad on Valentine's Day, but I can't (Chris is a guy I'm in love with and we plan on getting married, he just happens to live in Canada.) Instead he's with his girlfriend. I wonder if he'll even think of me today. Sometimes I absolutely hate that stupid agreement that he and I made!!!! Other times I'm fine with it because it's not fair that either of us have to be alone, but still. I'm not lucky enough to fine someone here. Even when I do, I fuck it up. I fucked up with Andy, and I fucked up with Doug. I think it's because Chris is the only one I want to be with.
I also really miss my mom and Bob. She said she and Bob are moving back once school is done, but what if things don't work out with my parents? I want it to. I know how much my mom still loves my dad, and I know deep down he still loves her.
In all honesty, a lot if these last 6 months have felt like a dream. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and it will have been a dream. I'll still be in school, Mom and Bob will have been here this whole time. I dunno.
I am happy about the fact that Mom and Bob will be here this weekend. They'll be here next weekend, too. This weekend Mom's getting a hotel room. On Saturday I'm watching Bob and his two friends Cameron and Jayden. Reason I'm watching them is my mom and dad are gonna talk. If things go well, I may be watching the boys all night. Haha. I was supposed to sing at church on the 17th, but because I'm watching the boys, there's no way I'd be able to get three 9 year old boys to church. Also, there's no way I could them to go to bed early. Not when it's been so long since they've all gotten to hang together. Who knows, maybe I'll even go swimming with them. My mom might also bring Bob's PS3 so at least I can watch movies while I watch the boys. That would be nice. If not, I can read. (I'm reading the Mist of Avalon again, for the 5th time in the last two years.) Maybe I'll even bring a game or something to do with the boys. I just can't wait to see Bob. My little brother is awesome.
Nest weekend is Dad and Bob's birthdays. Dad'll be 45 on the 23rd, and Bob'll be 10 on the 25th. Our cousin Johnny will be 10 on the 28th. (I think it's awesome they're three days apart. They also have the same middle name for our Grandpa Norman.) Next weekend it's gonna just be family for my dad's sake. I don't even know what to get them for their birthdays.
On today's note, work is really boring. We're training for Kodak AiO printers. We're training to troubleshoot them. It's so boring. Half the time I don't even pay attention, and yet I do know what I'm doing. Haha.
Really nothing else to talk about so I guess I'll leave you all for now.
♥
Sarah Joy
I also really miss my mom and Bob. She said she and Bob are moving back once school is done, but what if things don't work out with my parents? I want it to. I know how much my mom still loves my dad, and I know deep down he still loves her.
In all honesty, a lot if these last 6 months have felt like a dream. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and it will have been a dream. I'll still be in school, Mom and Bob will have been here this whole time. I dunno.
I am happy about the fact that Mom and Bob will be here this weekend. They'll be here next weekend, too. This weekend Mom's getting a hotel room. On Saturday I'm watching Bob and his two friends Cameron and Jayden. Reason I'm watching them is my mom and dad are gonna talk. If things go well, I may be watching the boys all night. Haha. I was supposed to sing at church on the 17th, but because I'm watching the boys, there's no way I'd be able to get three 9 year old boys to church. Also, there's no way I could them to go to bed early. Not when it's been so long since they've all gotten to hang together. Who knows, maybe I'll even go swimming with them. My mom might also bring Bob's PS3 so at least I can watch movies while I watch the boys. That would be nice. If not, I can read. (I'm reading the Mist of Avalon again, for the 5th time in the last two years.) Maybe I'll even bring a game or something to do with the boys. I just can't wait to see Bob. My little brother is awesome.
Nest weekend is Dad and Bob's birthdays. Dad'll be 45 on the 23rd, and Bob'll be 10 on the 25th. Our cousin Johnny will be 10 on the 28th. (I think it's awesome they're three days apart. They also have the same middle name for our Grandpa Norman.) Next weekend it's gonna just be family for my dad's sake. I don't even know what to get them for their birthdays.
On today's note, work is really boring. We're training for Kodak AiO printers. We're training to troubleshoot them. It's so boring. Half the time I don't even pay attention, and yet I do know what I'm doing. Haha.
Really nothing else to talk about so I guess I'll leave you all for now.
♥
Sarah Joy