(no subject)
on monday i found out something that i shouldnt have found out. Maybe i shouldve learned my lesson when everything happened with Ruben but i didnt and it like im going through what happened a year ago all over again. i still dont know if its good that i know or maybe i shouldve never known. Now to me, its more about trust issues and karma.
so this is how it happened.
the day before new years eve, which was a Saturday, Gaby and i decided to go to studio 69 where manny was working that day, so thats kinda why i wanted to go, i wanted to see him because i hadnt seen him all day long. well i get there and hes pissed off at me already, asking me why i couldnt go visit him at work earlier, yet i can go party? eh whatever. i just ignored him and proceeded to have a good time with the wifey. so a few minutes i get a text from him just talking shit telling me that i was fucked up etc. so i was like fuck this im leaving so i called my sister to pick me up. So i tell him" dont worry im leaving anyway so just leave me alone". then he tells me ":yeah, your leaving with Ruben huh?" ok wtf ? first of all i didnt even know ruben was in town and second off why the hell would i be with him? hell no. he tells me that ruben is there at the club and accuses me of being there with him etc. i was so infuriated that i told him to fuck off and erase my number leave me the fuck alone. i was so devisated. the audacity of this motherfucker. so i leave and go home.
next day is Sunday, new years eve. i go to church with the grandma and he works at studio 69 again. we text around midnight. stll talking shit to me.
i dont remember if we talked that monday, but i do know for sure i was with him tuesday because i worked.
well i we both obviously get over it and i tell him that i wasnt there with ruben blah blah.
ok... now one month later... i find pics of Him and Liz, his ex, whom i hate with a passion, kissing on her photobucket. the pics where dated from august, when we had already been together.
you can probably imagine how pissed off i was, so i text him and let him know that i saw these pics but i didnt say the date.
he picks me up from work and he tells me that this happened last month. Last month? wtf ? the ones i saw were from august. not last month. so he fucks himself and admits that he got with Liz again on new years.
LESS THAN ONE DAY THAT WE ARGUED.
now that im writing this, it makes me so pissed off all over again. whenever i talk about it, it makes my eyes water out of hatred. he couldve gotten with any other bitch, ANYONE - but this whore? hell no. she gained so much satisfaction knowing that we were together and she hooked up with him. ugh. His excuse was that i broke it off wit him and he was so mad at me he did it out of spite and anger.
I still dont understand how someone who ' cares about you ' so much can have the fucking audacity to steep so low.
now that a few days have passed. Im still talking to him and im doing my best to trust him and beleive him but its so ridiculously hard. i look at him and i get pissed off because i remember what happened on new years.
I dont know if i should give him the benifit and let him keep thinking that he was entitled to do whatver he wanted a few hours after we broke up. he keeps telling me, well you broke up with me, and yeah i did, but why did i break up with you ? because you jump to conclusions and assume shit that im not even do.
i dont know if ill ever be able to stop thinking about it, but im really trying. right now is the hardest because the wounds are still fresh, but later on, there will always be that scar. right now im just trying to cover it with a bad ass concealer.
so this is how it happened.
the day before new years eve, which was a Saturday, Gaby and i decided to go to studio 69 where manny was working that day, so thats kinda why i wanted to go, i wanted to see him because i hadnt seen him all day long. well i get there and hes pissed off at me already, asking me why i couldnt go visit him at work earlier, yet i can go party? eh whatever. i just ignored him and proceeded to have a good time with the wifey. so a few minutes i get a text from him just talking shit telling me that i was fucked up etc. so i was like fuck this im leaving so i called my sister to pick me up. So i tell him" dont worry im leaving anyway so just leave me alone". then he tells me ":yeah, your leaving with Ruben huh?" ok wtf ? first of all i didnt even know ruben was in town and second off why the hell would i be with him? hell no. he tells me that ruben is there at the club and accuses me of being there with him etc. i was so infuriated that i told him to fuck off and erase my number leave me the fuck alone. i was so devisated. the audacity of this motherfucker. so i leave and go home.
next day is Sunday, new years eve. i go to church with the grandma and he works at studio 69 again. we text around midnight. stll talking shit to me.
i dont remember if we talked that monday, but i do know for sure i was with him tuesday because i worked.
well i we both obviously get over it and i tell him that i wasnt there with ruben blah blah.
ok... now one month later... i find pics of Him and Liz, his ex, whom i hate with a passion, kissing on her photobucket. the pics where dated from august, when we had already been together.
you can probably imagine how pissed off i was, so i text him and let him know that i saw these pics but i didnt say the date.
he picks me up from work and he tells me that this happened last month. Last month? wtf ? the ones i saw were from august. not last month. so he fucks himself and admits that he got with Liz again on new years.
LESS THAN ONE DAY THAT WE ARGUED.
now that im writing this, it makes me so pissed off all over again. whenever i talk about it, it makes my eyes water out of hatred. he couldve gotten with any other bitch, ANYONE - but this whore? hell no. she gained so much satisfaction knowing that we were together and she hooked up with him. ugh. His excuse was that i broke it off wit him and he was so mad at me he did it out of spite and anger.
I still dont understand how someone who ' cares about you ' so much can have the fucking audacity to steep so low.
now that a few days have passed. Im still talking to him and im doing my best to trust him and beleive him but its so ridiculously hard. i look at him and i get pissed off because i remember what happened on new years.
I dont know if i should give him the benifit and let him keep thinking that he was entitled to do whatver he wanted a few hours after we broke up. he keeps telling me, well you broke up with me, and yeah i did, but why did i break up with you ? because you jump to conclusions and assume shit that im not even do.
i dont know if ill ever be able to stop thinking about it, but im really trying. right now is the hardest because the wounds are still fresh, but later on, there will always be that scar. right now im just trying to cover it with a bad ass concealer.