i thought this was great!
There was finally some good news in the increasingly contentious immigration debate last week, and it came from, of all places, the war on drugs. Mexican President
Vicente Fox announced that he would sign into law a measure legalizing the small-scale use of recreational drugs, including marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, ecstasy, amphetamines and mushrooms. And they say today's politicians don't know how to connect with younger voters.
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The point of the law was to let the Mexican police stop wasting time and money fighting small-time users and free them up to focus on intercepting large drug shipments from the drug cartels -- because that's where the really big bribes are. But after a storm of protest erupted in the U.S., Fox decided not to sign the measure and sent it back to Mexico's congress for further consideration.
Two things shocked me about this story. First of all, who knew Mexico had a congress? I always thought that by constitutional mandate the country was run by the richest guy with a mustache. The second was how upset Americans became at the prospect of this law being passed. Concerned that all those drugs would suddenly become available here, the Bush administration pressured Fox not to sign the measure. So just when the party is about to get started, the cranky old man next door calls the cops to shut it down.
Frankly, I could care less about Mexico's drug problem, and, for that matter, ours. I always figured that the root of both evils was American demand, not foreign supply. And I have no idea if Mexico's proposed law is good drug policy, because at this point, I don't think there is such a thing.
Our government spends $35 billion a year fighting the drug war (just to give you an idea of how much money that is, it's roughly what it costs to put three tanks of gas in a Hummer), and all that time, money, and effort hasn't made one carefully weighed ounce of difference. "Just say no" has been a national catchphrase for over two decades, and while it's still easy to buy coke in this country, it's damned near impossible to get a box of Sudafed. And since my wife and I both work and have three kids, we desperately need both in our medicine cabinet.
So what does this have to do with the immigration debate, you may ask? Well, if all that good-time space candy becomes legal south of the border, then at least a few hundred of those Mexicans who are so miserable living there on sub Wal-Mart wages will at least be able to get stoned every day, leaving them slightly less bummed-out about their plight. Meanwhile, unimaginable numbers of American college students will immediately head south in search of a hassle-free good time. The whole country will look like Tijuana on the first Friday of spring break -- every night of the year! All those Americans streaming into Mexico will more than offset the tidal wave of illegal immigrants heading north.
It's a win-win situation for Uncle Sam. For every rich, lazy college kid we lose, we'll gain an eager, motivated Mexican who's happy to work his fingers to the bone 24/7 to get his or her slice of the American dream. In just a few weeks, our immigration "crisis" will be solved.
I say "crisis" because I still can't figure out why this suddenly became a hot button issue that has to be addressed ASAP. Perhaps it's true that illegal immigrants put an undue burden on state and local services, especially hospitals. But I'll bet plenty of the folks working their butts off cleaning those hospitals are illegal immigrants who are being paid pathetically low wages that actually help those hospitals stay in the black.
And the suggestion that illegal immigration brings criminals into this country is laughable. If you're really interested in pursuing a life of crime, it's far easier to stay in Mexico and build a criminal empire there. Why risk life and limb to sneak into a country where the cops can't be bought off unless you're a Congressman from Rhode Island?
The bottom line is, we keep telling the world how great democracy is, so we can't blame these poor souls for wanting to come here. And there's no doubt these immigrants perform many important functions in our society, not the least of which is taking the nasty, unpleasant jobs Americans don't want, like looking after my children.
So here's hoping that in the coming weeks Mexico's leaders do what most American tourists do in that country every morning - wake up and realize they've made a truly awful mistake. Then our friends to the south can go ahead and pass this law, and everyone will be better off. We'll get Mexico's hard-working people who actually want to better themselves, and they'll get our stoners and burnouts. And my wife and I can finally stop fighting about where to spend our next vacation.
Vicente Fox announced that he would sign into law a measure legalizing the small-scale use of recreational drugs, including marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, ecstasy, amphetamines and mushrooms. And they say today's politicians don't know how to connect with younger voters.
ADVERTISEMENT
The point of the law was to let the Mexican police stop wasting time and money fighting small-time users and free them up to focus on intercepting large drug shipments from the drug cartels -- because that's where the really big bribes are. But after a storm of protest erupted in the U.S., Fox decided not to sign the measure and sent it back to Mexico's congress for further consideration.
Two things shocked me about this story. First of all, who knew Mexico had a congress? I always thought that by constitutional mandate the country was run by the richest guy with a mustache. The second was how upset Americans became at the prospect of this law being passed. Concerned that all those drugs would suddenly become available here, the Bush administration pressured Fox not to sign the measure. So just when the party is about to get started, the cranky old man next door calls the cops to shut it down.
Frankly, I could care less about Mexico's drug problem, and, for that matter, ours. I always figured that the root of both evils was American demand, not foreign supply. And I have no idea if Mexico's proposed law is good drug policy, because at this point, I don't think there is such a thing.
Our government spends $35 billion a year fighting the drug war (just to give you an idea of how much money that is, it's roughly what it costs to put three tanks of gas in a Hummer), and all that time, money, and effort hasn't made one carefully weighed ounce of difference. "Just say no" has been a national catchphrase for over two decades, and while it's still easy to buy coke in this country, it's damned near impossible to get a box of Sudafed. And since my wife and I both work and have three kids, we desperately need both in our medicine cabinet.
So what does this have to do with the immigration debate, you may ask? Well, if all that good-time space candy becomes legal south of the border, then at least a few hundred of those Mexicans who are so miserable living there on sub Wal-Mart wages will at least be able to get stoned every day, leaving them slightly less bummed-out about their plight. Meanwhile, unimaginable numbers of American college students will immediately head south in search of a hassle-free good time. The whole country will look like Tijuana on the first Friday of spring break -- every night of the year! All those Americans streaming into Mexico will more than offset the tidal wave of illegal immigrants heading north.
It's a win-win situation for Uncle Sam. For every rich, lazy college kid we lose, we'll gain an eager, motivated Mexican who's happy to work his fingers to the bone 24/7 to get his or her slice of the American dream. In just a few weeks, our immigration "crisis" will be solved.
I say "crisis" because I still can't figure out why this suddenly became a hot button issue that has to be addressed ASAP. Perhaps it's true that illegal immigrants put an undue burden on state and local services, especially hospitals. But I'll bet plenty of the folks working their butts off cleaning those hospitals are illegal immigrants who are being paid pathetically low wages that actually help those hospitals stay in the black.
And the suggestion that illegal immigration brings criminals into this country is laughable. If you're really interested in pursuing a life of crime, it's far easier to stay in Mexico and build a criminal empire there. Why risk life and limb to sneak into a country where the cops can't be bought off unless you're a Congressman from Rhode Island?
The bottom line is, we keep telling the world how great democracy is, so we can't blame these poor souls for wanting to come here. And there's no doubt these immigrants perform many important functions in our society, not the least of which is taking the nasty, unpleasant jobs Americans don't want, like looking after my children.
So here's hoping that in the coming weeks Mexico's leaders do what most American tourists do in that country every morning - wake up and realize they've made a truly awful mistake. Then our friends to the south can go ahead and pass this law, and everyone will be better off. We'll get Mexico's hard-working people who actually want to better themselves, and they'll get our stoners and burnouts. And my wife and I can finally stop fighting about where to spend our next vacation.