DC/Marvel
Title: Ironcat?
Characters: Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Selina Kyle
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1282
Warning: good ol’ crack
Disclaimer: Tony and Pepper are Marvel’s and Selina’s DC's.
AN: Wrote this a while ago because canon was getting…okay, there was a very sweet moment in ‘Tec 850, but before that...let’s just say there was screaming involved! Plus, I love Iron Man!
Nothing was extraordinary about the hospital itself. The staff had a few of the required world class surgeons leading a third of the departments like most hospitals did in any big metropolis. So why was he currently walking its halls? Two reasons. First, he had to choose a different organization from the previous years to make his annual Stark Industries donation, which he did because he was in the position to do so to help his fellow man and the tax break appeased the board of directors keeping them out of his hair for the most part. Two, he received an anonymous call about a certain patient in the hospital that might need the kind of immediate assistance only he, Tony Stark, could provide.
His company received many of these please-help-me calls, as he referred to them. Pepper had mentioned setting up a hotline for them alone. But this call had been to his personal cell phone, which only a handful of people had the privilege to know. Tony decided that anyone able to reach him directly deserved some looking into, unless it was a trap of course.
So after both Iron Man and Happy ran a thorough check of the hospital, Tony finally stood outside the room he came across the country to enter. A small self-satisfied smile made its way across his face. At times like these, he truly believed he could solve any problem and do anything.
He wasn’t sure what would be behind the doors, but he imagined some state of the art robotic prosthetics for accidental limb loss might be expected. The Chief of Staff unlocked the door and began a lengthy speech about what was known about the patient, which turned out to be very little. Female, late 20s/early 30s, otherwise healthy, no known relatives. The chief leaned towards Tony and whispered something about vigilantes, vendettas, and crime in Gotham, but Tony stopped listening as he stepped closer, realizing then that she had no heart.
Despite numerous attempts to buy the secrets to his arc reactor, Tony had turned down every offer. The latest coming from his wannabe clone in Gotham, Bruce Wayne. He wondered now if Wayne had been the one to contact him, but refused to regard the notion any further as he had just been informed the woman had no family. Besides, Wayne wasn’t known for random acts of kindness.
He, on the other hand… Plus, she did have no heart. What if… He glanced over at the man talking, “How long has she been here?”
The doctor appeared somewhat bothered at having been interrupted from his rigorously rehearsed speech, but replied nonetheless, “Four hours. But I assure-”
“Leave me,” Tony ordered then turned to Happy as he finished texting his assistant, “Everything I need is at my place. Miss Potts will tell you what to bring.”
The Chief of Staff walked out, enraged at the foul treatment, but hopeful at having piqued the billionaire genius’s interest. Happy stepped out, planning to reach Malibu and be back in Gotham in less than three hours. Maybe just over two.
…
“Are you sure about this, Tony?”
He looked at his assistant, a sly smile across his face, “When do I not think things through?”
Pepper replied without a second thought, “Miss January. The French Ambassador’s Twin Daughters. The-”
“I mean,” Tony interrupted, “When it comes to work.”
“This,” Pepper waved around the room, “is about work?”
Tony’s eyes twinkled, “It could be.”
…
“An arc reactor?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“That you made?” Green eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“My, you’re a fast learner.”
“Like yours?”
“No. Not exactly like mine,” Tony sighed, “Okay, look, I saved your life.”
“No one asked you to,” she spit out, sitting up in the rather large medical bed.
“Uh, yes. An anonymous caller did, actually,” he shrugged as the silly words left his mouth, “You owe me.”
She laughed. Loud. Then, felt a sharp pain in her chest. She took a moment to ignore the pain, “Oh, really? And how did you arrive at that startling conclusion?”
Tony looked sideways at her, “You did hear the part about me saving your life?”
She narrowed her eyes further. The last thing she remembered was fighting Hush and now she was talking to a man she vaguely recognized, but wasn’t sure where she knew him from. What if he and Hush were working together?
“Who the hell are you?” She asked resisting the urge to rip the alien object between her breasts out of her body, instead clutching at the sheets along her thighs with both hands.
Tony snorted, “I think I’m hurt. Thought everyone knew. Anyway, you don’t seem very grateful. Why is that?”
She looked out the window where only the ocean could be seen. It might be a little harder than she first thought to escape. “How much money do I owe you?” she asked, not willing to pay in any currency other than the kind she liked to steal from time to time.
He laughed and the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach grew, “Oh, I don’t want your money,” he waved his hand as if the thought of taking payment from her offended him. He slid off of his chair and approached the side of her bed. He looked her in the eye, “You’re going to be my bodyguard.”
…
Malibu was no Gotham. That was a given, but for a temporary relocation, it wasn’t so bad. But being in the suit was exhilarating! And, anytime she could get that vein in Tony’s forehead to look about ready to pop was more than a little entertaining!
“She did warn you,” Pepper pointed out, not tearing her eyes away from the paperwork in her arms.
“Are you-” Tony made a face at Pepper, half disbelief, half amusement, “Siding with Selina?”
Pepper rolled her eyes. It was true, she had not been the biggest supporter of someone else in the suit, but Selina had proved to be more than capable so far. And anything that could help raise Stark Industries stock prices by providing the illusion of a safe and sane CEO was very much appreciated. Plus, Selina had a tendency to help Pepper-whether on purpose or not she didn’t know-keep Tony in check. Well, as much as it was possible anyway.
“You’re changing the subject, Tony,” Selina grinned, letting the dummy and the others help remove the suit.
“But I haven’t been out for weeks!” he yelled, practically pouting.
“It’s been two nights!” Selina argued, but decided it was best to ignore Tony and turned towards Pepper, “How have you put up with this for so long?”
“Hey!”
Pepper ignored Tony too, a thing she found easier to do with the other woman around giving her someone else to focus on. She could feel both Tony and Selina’s gaze on her awaiting an answer-one more eager than the other. Pepper knew why she put up with him for so long, but wasn’t about to say. Instead, her only reply was an innocent smirk. Luckily, her phone rang then. She answered as she walked out.
However, Tony wasn’t about to let it go, “That wasn’t an answer!” he yelled after her.
Selina laughed, “Yeah, it was,” surprised she hadn’t seen it before.
She waited for the last of the suit to come off and though she tried to be patient with the process, it just wasn't in her. She knew then she wouldn't be around much longer. Malibu was nice, but far too sunny and she missed Gotham. Besides, she still had to get Hush for hurting her in the first place. This arrangement was doomed, really, since Tony first suggested it. She couldn't be Iron Man and he couldn't not be. But she didn't regret it. If anything, it had never been boring.
She walked by Tony on her way out, but said nothing else.
Tony sighed dramatically, but with no one to watch his theatrics, he went back to work on his newest hot rod. The dummy approached and Tony eyed it suspiciously, “You better not start siding with them, got it?”