House/Twilight
Title: Fear and Loathing in New Jersey
Characters: Gregory House, Carlisle Cullen, Lisa Cuddy
Rating: G
Word Count: 385
Disclaimer: Don’t own.
AN: Because Carlisle must have stopped through Jersey at one point, right?
House hated the man. If it wasn’t bad enough that he was probably the most ridiculously good looking person he’d ever seen, he seemed to know everything. Plus, he actually volunteered for clinic hours and the night shift. Then there was Cuddy who followed him around like a love-struck school girl, but that only bothered him because the hospital was bound to suffer.
But when Dr. Cullen solved the two most recent of House’s cases, that was the last straw. House intended to confront him. He woke up especially early to catch him before he left the hospital. It was only dawn, but for some reason the sun was already unbearably bright and it only made House more pissed off.
He saw Carlisle, his head cast down, walking quickly across the lawn towards his car. House couldn’t help notice the gloves and hooded coat he wore.
“Cullen,” House yelled, walking over.
Carlisle sped up.
“Hey, I’m talking to you!” House hooked his cane around the other man’s arm and tried to spin him around, but found him immobile. Carlisle did stop abruptly, though, and the hood fell back away from his face. The shocked - or was it terrified? - expression surprised House more than anything else. Well, the glittering skin was unexpected, too, but there was something to be said about a man who could commit so thoroughly to a practical joke by covering his entire face with that disgusting sparkling substance that House was impressed. Grossed out, but impressed.
He released Carlisle, who pulled the hood over his head again and waited anxiously for the horrified accusations to begin. He didn't like the idea of uprooting his family yet again, but it might have just become a necessity.
“Idiot,” House mumbled, shaking his head. It figured Cullen would go all out for April Fools'.
“Was there something I could help you with?” Carlisle asked, not at all expecting the casual demeanor.
Perhaps he had been the slightest bit unfair. He could feel the hate begin to dwindle. “Nevermind,” he replied.
“House?”
He cursed. He didn’t need to look over to see who called.
“Excuse me, then,” he heard Cullen say.
“I’m surprised you’re on time today for clinic hours,” Cuddy smiled at House as she watched the newly hired doctor drive off, “I suppose I’ll have to thank Dr. Cullen for that.”
The dwindling hate spiked again. God, he hated the man.