Staircase scenario
If I ever had any doubts that this summer is the very last time I will ever sleep under this roof, they are gone. She is like some sort of stubborn, overgrown, overweight toddler, and we are simply and totally incompatible both as family and as friends.
Right, never mind all that, and everything else -- to business. I need to just do this, or it will never get done:
After Kade and Jamie left us we were on the stone staircase. The floor below was polished stone; redstone, I think, and gray-white granite, possibly with black marble. I was standing outside of the railing, on the lip of the step, facing her. She was holding my hands and making me repeat her words -- sort of like uhpynye glahm kerroum, an alphabet feeling, although she said it was a language. I didn't know at the time that there was no last word, but it would have comforted me. So we were going over and over the beginning of it, and I was trying not to close my eyes out of habit because, as always, I was having trouble reading her. I felt safe, partially because of the words, and partially because she seemed to me to be in a less dangerous mood. She was holding my hands from the other side of the railing, keeping me there, and she may have kissed me (check on that). I didn't know then that there was more than one person in her head, so I wasn't scared. There were people upstairs, far away down the hall toward the studio. (I think maybe they were painting the walls?) I could hear their voices distantly, and then one of them called her name. She turned her head and as she did so she let go of my hands. I don't know why I never thought to grab the railing -- all or nothing? -- but I overbalanced, reaching for her hands, and began to fall. As I went backward she walked up the stairs and out of sight as though she had forgotten I was there.
The annoying thing about this is that today I was able for the first time to see her face clearly and it looked like mine crossed with Sophie's... Actually, it was more like it wavered between the two. I really, really hope that that changes, because I don't need to go into it for the sake of a face. I don't even like this that much. Another Zosia-related problem? I can only hope so.
NOTE TO SELF: I must remember to teach myself how to write in the RPA.
Right, never mind all that, and everything else -- to business. I need to just do this, or it will never get done:
After Kade and Jamie left us we were on the stone staircase. The floor below was polished stone; redstone, I think, and gray-white granite, possibly with black marble. I was standing outside of the railing, on the lip of the step, facing her. She was holding my hands and making me repeat her words -- sort of like uhpynye glahm kerroum, an alphabet feeling, although she said it was a language. I didn't know at the time that there was no last word, but it would have comforted me. So we were going over and over the beginning of it, and I was trying not to close my eyes out of habit because, as always, I was having trouble reading her. I felt safe, partially because of the words, and partially because she seemed to me to be in a less dangerous mood. She was holding my hands from the other side of the railing, keeping me there, and she may have kissed me (check on that). I didn't know then that there was more than one person in her head, so I wasn't scared. There were people upstairs, far away down the hall toward the studio. (I think maybe they were painting the walls?) I could hear their voices distantly, and then one of them called her name. She turned her head and as she did so she let go of my hands. I don't know why I never thought to grab the railing -- all or nothing? -- but I overbalanced, reaching for her hands, and began to fall. As I went backward she walked up the stairs and out of sight as though she had forgotten I was there.
The annoying thing about this is that today I was able for the first time to see her face clearly and it looked like mine crossed with Sophie's... Actually, it was more like it wavered between the two. I really, really hope that that changes, because I don't need to go into it for the sake of a face. I don't even like this that much. Another Zosia-related problem? I can only hope so.
NOTE TO SELF: I must remember to teach myself how to write in the RPA.