"dear God, make me a bird"
i am a spoiled rotten human being.
when i was a little girl i used to make wishes before bed that i'd wake up to find new barbie dolls on the foot of my bed where there were none. i "remember waking up" in the middle of the night once and finding a brand new barbie water bicycle actually sitting on the end of my bed. it was olive green, which to me at the time was not a nice, barbtastic color, and i really didn't think it looked like a cool toy. so i wished it away. in retrospect ("retrospect"), i realize that the miracle was in the notion of anything appearing on the end of my bed at all, of my wishes being heard and coming true. and i kind of can't help but think that as a little girl it would have been nice if i had a little bit of wisdom, and embraced the gift for what it was. blah blah blah. but now i find myself, as an adult, sitting hunched over on my bed, peering at a gift that isn't quite what i asked for--hurting for new dolls and looking at mysterious, puke-green barbie sports equipment--and wondering how to accept it gracefully, gratefully, and without a pang of disappointment in my gut. because wishing THIS gift away will certainly look horrid in retrospect....
when i was a little girl i used to make wishes before bed that i'd wake up to find new barbie dolls on the foot of my bed where there were none. i "remember waking up" in the middle of the night once and finding a brand new barbie water bicycle actually sitting on the end of my bed. it was olive green, which to me at the time was not a nice, barbtastic color, and i really didn't think it looked like a cool toy. so i wished it away. in retrospect ("retrospect"), i realize that the miracle was in the notion of anything appearing on the end of my bed at all, of my wishes being heard and coming true. and i kind of can't help but think that as a little girl it would have been nice if i had a little bit of wisdom, and embraced the gift for what it was. blah blah blah. but now i find myself, as an adult, sitting hunched over on my bed, peering at a gift that isn't quite what i asked for--hurting for new dolls and looking at mysterious, puke-green barbie sports equipment--and wondering how to accept it gracefully, gratefully, and without a pang of disappointment in my gut. because wishing THIS gift away will certainly look horrid in retrospect....