Everything Comes To An End Eventually
Everything ends eventually and I guess that relates to my previous entry about changes. Today I had to say goodbye to former CBRE co-workers that I've worked with for years and in some cases, for the past 4 years. I exchanged email addresses and phone numbers with everyone and I know some of them I'll be keeping in touch and others will fade away. That's just the way these things go. I can't believe I had to say goodbye to Robin who was my very first supervisor at CBRE within the accounts payable department. She always teased me, but always said I'll be making my way up the food chain and that I'll be fine. She said how she's seen me grow up since I began with the company and I'll go far in life. It's just not right how people that don't deserve to lose their jobs, lose them. They had a party today as one last chance for everyone to eat and have fun together, even Bob and myself even though we're with Trammell Crow. They all seemed to put on happy faces, but they only have a few more weeks left until their officially gone. I told Sharon that this sucks and she agreed but said it's part of life and there's not much you can do about it. I'll definetly miss Sharon too. She said she remembers when I first started as a temp (since she's the one that trained me), she thought I would leave within a few weeks, because so many of the other temps didn't last. I told her I had no intention of leaving, but she didn't believe me. As the months passed, she realized I infact wasn't going anywhere and she was impressed. I told her I was true to my word and when I say something I mean it or if I promise something I'll keep it. I'm not one of those people that says one thing and then does another. If I make up my mind about something, I'll stick with it instead of going back and forth. So Sharon brought up that story today and said I was right, but I told her it wasn't about me being right, it's just who I am. I don't turn away from something unless I have a damn good reason too.
I'll be there for only a few hours on Monday cause after I drop my parents off at the airport around 10, I have to go to my new office space and make sure my computer connections are going to be ok, according to an email we received today. So by the time I get back to my current space, it's going to be around noon and I'll be busy packing the last few remaining things in my desk and catching up on the day's emails and calls. So I don't think I'll have much time to see everyone on the other side on Monday, so it was good that I got everyone's information today and said my goodbyes. I can't believe after 3 years we're going to finally be out of the basement. Bob, Jessica and myself went to our new spaces today at 1 Constitution Plaza for a more in depth look at our areas. There's alot of wiring going on and the place is busy, busy for our move. I think I'm really going to like my new area. I have a nice window seat with blinds that I'll probably have down most of the time, since it might be too bright. It's going to still feel wierd not sitting right next to Bob even though he's only going to be a few cubicles away. It'll be nice to have more privacy but it's still going to feel different.
I'm still having that god awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I first had it on Wednesday evening, then it subsided yesterday even though I knew it was still there. But it wasn't bad enough to bother me since I had a productive day at work. But then when I got home yesterday, it escalated to the point where I thought I was going to have stomach cramps. It subsided last night and today, but yet the general feeling was still there. Then once again it grew tonight and is with me as I write this. I don't have the slightest idea what it could be about and that's the scary part. I know it's not work related, because I've accepted the fact that I'm never going to catch up any time soon. When you're dealing with one of the biggest bank mergers in history, you're going to encounter rough waters. I've learned to accept that and coworkers and friends have told me that I shouldn't stress out over work. I just hated the feeling of being so behind, but I'm dealing with it. Things are very, very slowly getting better all around, but it's still going to take the rest of the year to get everyone on the same page and somewhat comfortable with how things are done. I had a stupid thought that maybe my bad feeling is about my parents leaving in 3 days. They haven't flown since that last time they went to Colorado which was 15 years ago. I just had the stupid ass thought that maybe something could happen to the plane and I'll never see them again. I quickly erased that thought as I know flying is much safer than driving and they'll be perfectly fine and will have a great time in Denver. I don't know what the hell this feeling is, but I know it's not stomach pains cause I know the difference between stomach pains and bad feelings. I also know it's not nerves or stress. I just wish it will pass cause I don't want anything terrible to happen to me or to anyone that I care about. There's too many things going on within the next 30 days for me to feel like this. Hopefully, it goes away by Monday cause I want to enjoy my time away from my folks. I'm going to be feeling like Dr. Doolittle next week because I'm going to be fish sitting, watching over a bird, a guinea pig, a hamster and my dog, but I love animals and wouldn't have it any other way. I can alway talk to the animals, but if they talk back then I know there's something seriously wrong with me!
I'll be there for only a few hours on Monday cause after I drop my parents off at the airport around 10, I have to go to my new office space and make sure my computer connections are going to be ok, according to an email we received today. So by the time I get back to my current space, it's going to be around noon and I'll be busy packing the last few remaining things in my desk and catching up on the day's emails and calls. So I don't think I'll have much time to see everyone on the other side on Monday, so it was good that I got everyone's information today and said my goodbyes. I can't believe after 3 years we're going to finally be out of the basement. Bob, Jessica and myself went to our new spaces today at 1 Constitution Plaza for a more in depth look at our areas. There's alot of wiring going on and the place is busy, busy for our move. I think I'm really going to like my new area. I have a nice window seat with blinds that I'll probably have down most of the time, since it might be too bright. It's going to still feel wierd not sitting right next to Bob even though he's only going to be a few cubicles away. It'll be nice to have more privacy but it's still going to feel different.
I'm still having that god awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I first had it on Wednesday evening, then it subsided yesterday even though I knew it was still there. But it wasn't bad enough to bother me since I had a productive day at work. But then when I got home yesterday, it escalated to the point where I thought I was going to have stomach cramps. It subsided last night and today, but yet the general feeling was still there. Then once again it grew tonight and is with me as I write this. I don't have the slightest idea what it could be about and that's the scary part. I know it's not work related, because I've accepted the fact that I'm never going to catch up any time soon. When you're dealing with one of the biggest bank mergers in history, you're going to encounter rough waters. I've learned to accept that and coworkers and friends have told me that I shouldn't stress out over work. I just hated the feeling of being so behind, but I'm dealing with it. Things are very, very slowly getting better all around, but it's still going to take the rest of the year to get everyone on the same page and somewhat comfortable with how things are done. I had a stupid thought that maybe my bad feeling is about my parents leaving in 3 days. They haven't flown since that last time they went to Colorado which was 15 years ago. I just had the stupid ass thought that maybe something could happen to the plane and I'll never see them again. I quickly erased that thought as I know flying is much safer than driving and they'll be perfectly fine and will have a great time in Denver. I don't know what the hell this feeling is, but I know it's not stomach pains cause I know the difference between stomach pains and bad feelings. I also know it's not nerves or stress. I just wish it will pass cause I don't want anything terrible to happen to me or to anyone that I care about. There's too many things going on within the next 30 days for me to feel like this. Hopefully, it goes away by Monday cause I want to enjoy my time away from my folks. I'm going to be feeling like Dr. Doolittle next week because I'm going to be fish sitting, watching over a bird, a guinea pig, a hamster and my dog, but I love animals and wouldn't have it any other way. I can alway talk to the animals, but if they talk back then I know there's something seriously wrong with me!