Allison Finished A Letter For Me, Hilarious!
This is a funny story. Some guy at NTU, the school I'm at, asked me to write a short paragraph about why I chose NTU and to send a pic. I started writing it on Allison's cpu and left an unfinished copy there. I told her to finish it. She took over after 3 sentences:
In researching potential sociology Ph.D programs, NTU stood out because it is an internationally recognized top research university. NTU, and specifically the Sociology Department, attracts outstanding faculty from all over the world. I am from all over the world, in Georgia specifically, and I want to explore Tammy. I mean, opportunities. I am told there is a lively fur community on campus, as well as sex scandals, and as those are my two main interests this is the place for me. I feel I will excel with my research at this institution because I am white and from the U.S., therefore, I will be taller and "better equipped" to tackle academic challenges. I plan to use my height and pale skin tone to my advantage by intimidating the short and dark people of your country. Using my massive equipment I will seduce all female faculty members, which can only advance my academic standing. I hope to build a robot to demolish your insignificant little island that will surely sink in a few years thanks to global warming. Also, I look forward to playing Chick or Dude. As a Chick or Dude enthusiast, living in a country full of flat chested Asian people whose voices never drop will lend itself to growth and insight in this field. Lastly, I am an excellent candidate because I am determined to piss of my girlfriend. Determination to upset her will lead to academic success, as my staying longer with prolong her depression. Hopefully she will gain 200 pounds so I can break up with during a visit (I will probably never go back to the U.S.).
Thank you for your consideration,
The Man for the Job
David Kirschner
King of Assholery
Knight of Bootyhole Infiltration
Squire of Scrotum
Mr. Dick Buttkiss 2009
Premier Pain Inflicter of Allison 2009
Big Headed Academician of 2008
I don't know about you, but I'd submit that.
I'm in Singapore. I live in Singapore. It's weird to think about. I'm going to make a new blog for my family and cross post that stuff in here too. I've been here 3.5 days, but it feels like a lot longer because I've been running on excitement and little sleep. I've done a lot in 3.5 days and have lots of pictures and things to say about it so far! Let me give a teaser by saying within 10 minutes of getting off my plane, I noticed these http://www.urinalfly.com/ on all the toilets in the airport. Apparently they are in a handful of countries around the world, but I'd never heard of them and thought there was a smushed fly at first til I looked at the other urinals too. I wanted to take a picture but thought I might get called out as a perv.
More soon!
In researching potential sociology Ph.D programs, NTU stood out because it is an internationally recognized top research university. NTU, and specifically the Sociology Department, attracts outstanding faculty from all over the world. I am from all over the world, in Georgia specifically, and I want to explore Tammy. I mean, opportunities. I am told there is a lively fur community on campus, as well as sex scandals, and as those are my two main interests this is the place for me. I feel I will excel with my research at this institution because I am white and from the U.S., therefore, I will be taller and "better equipped" to tackle academic challenges. I plan to use my height and pale skin tone to my advantage by intimidating the short and dark people of your country. Using my massive equipment I will seduce all female faculty members, which can only advance my academic standing. I hope to build a robot to demolish your insignificant little island that will surely sink in a few years thanks to global warming. Also, I look forward to playing Chick or Dude. As a Chick or Dude enthusiast, living in a country full of flat chested Asian people whose voices never drop will lend itself to growth and insight in this field. Lastly, I am an excellent candidate because I am determined to piss of my girlfriend. Determination to upset her will lead to academic success, as my staying longer with prolong her depression. Hopefully she will gain 200 pounds so I can break up with during a visit (I will probably never go back to the U.S.).
Thank you for your consideration,
The Man for the Job
David Kirschner
King of Assholery
Knight of Bootyhole Infiltration
Squire of Scrotum
Mr. Dick Buttkiss 2009
Premier Pain Inflicter of Allison 2009
Big Headed Academician of 2008
I don't know about you, but I'd submit that.
I'm in Singapore. I live in Singapore. It's weird to think about. I'm going to make a new blog for my family and cross post that stuff in here too. I've been here 3.5 days, but it feels like a lot longer because I've been running on excitement and little sleep. I've done a lot in 3.5 days and have lots of pictures and things to say about it so far! Let me give a teaser by saying within 10 minutes of getting off my plane, I noticed these http://www.urinalfly.com/ on all the toilets in the airport. Apparently they are in a handful of countries around the world, but I'd never heard of them and thought there was a smushed fly at first til I looked at the other urinals too. I wanted to take a picture but thought I might get called out as a perv.
More soon!