tonite is just one of those nights.
you know, sometimes, you just feel like sitting, watching tv and eating cereal all night in your Pj's.
i like those nights, its gets you thinking about the future. start wondering if youre gonna be sitting on a couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons in my Pj's at three in the morning when im pushing thirty.
hah is that what you would call a wasted life?
okay, picture this: im middle aged, i walk in the door of my shitty studio apartment. the place is empty; they dont alow pets in my building , and the only thing im married to is my job, and i gave the bitch my hair as a wedding present. sides, no woman would fall in love, or much less marry some bald guy who gets fat and fatter every day because the only thing he has in his shitty little life is his couch, his bowl of cereal and his cartoons.
hah. god DAMN! thats a bleak future.
really, i cant see myself living past, like, 25. and in all honesty, im looking forward to the apocalypse. am i the only one who thinks nuclear winter would be sooo badass? its like regular winter cept instead of snowing snow, it snows your CERTAIN DOOM!!!
mwahahaha
eh. i guess in the end, just want the typical american dream. to be married, have a couple of kids. but we wouuldnt live in a picket fenced neighbor hood, oh no.
can we say traveling band that also solves mysteries?
yeah man. thats beautiful.
if this sounds like a good idea, and youre a girl(or guy.....i guess. but theres NO penetration involved, REPEAT, NO PENETRATION)then why not take a few moments to fill out this application:
BE MY WIFE?MANWIFE! (click here for printer-friendly version)
name:
age:
sex:
do you like cats?
more than dogs?
are you illiterate?(if no, list some favorite books, authors)
favorite movie:
band:
remember that part in evil dead 2 where ash welded his chainsaw arm together and then put it on his arm and then i was like "OMG he's gonna say it!!!" and then he said "GROOOOVEY"? do you remember that part?
okay, when i say shit like that ^ do you laugh, or do you just smile awkwardly and think im a fruit?
do you enjoy orange julius'?
would you ever download a "blingtone" for your cell phone?
if there was a blingtone about orange julius, wouldnt that be badass?
last question: what kind of idiot would wanna be my wife/man mate?
alright, while im not currently accepting applications, i'll put it in my achives and should the position of "phils wife" need to be filled, i will give you a call.
and then i'll fill YOUR position.
ZING!
hah yeah that was bad, but i just had to do it. them's the rules.
so yeah, i should get back to my cartoon.
my cereal is getting all soggy.
stays crunchy in milk. pfft. my ASS.
stays crunchy in milk.
christ ive been up for too long.
HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LET ME GO ON LIKE THIS?!
THIS ENTERY WAS POINTLESS!!!!!!
TELL THE PEOPLE!!!!!!
i like those nights, its gets you thinking about the future. start wondering if youre gonna be sitting on a couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons in my Pj's at three in the morning when im pushing thirty.
hah is that what you would call a wasted life?
okay, picture this: im middle aged, i walk in the door of my shitty studio apartment. the place is empty; they dont alow pets in my building , and the only thing im married to is my job, and i gave the bitch my hair as a wedding present. sides, no woman would fall in love, or much less marry some bald guy who gets fat and fatter every day because the only thing he has in his shitty little life is his couch, his bowl of cereal and his cartoons.
hah. god DAMN! thats a bleak future.
really, i cant see myself living past, like, 25. and in all honesty, im looking forward to the apocalypse. am i the only one who thinks nuclear winter would be sooo badass? its like regular winter cept instead of snowing snow, it snows your CERTAIN DOOM!!!
mwahahaha
eh. i guess in the end, just want the typical american dream. to be married, have a couple of kids. but we wouuldnt live in a picket fenced neighbor hood, oh no.
can we say traveling band that also solves mysteries?
yeah man. thats beautiful.
if this sounds like a good idea, and youre a girl(or guy.....i guess. but theres NO penetration involved, REPEAT, NO PENETRATION)then why not take a few moments to fill out this application:
BE MY WIFE?MANWIFE! (click here for printer-friendly version)
name:
age:
sex:
do you like cats?
more than dogs?
are you illiterate?(if no, list some favorite books, authors)
favorite movie:
band:
remember that part in evil dead 2 where ash welded his chainsaw arm together and then put it on his arm and then i was like "OMG he's gonna say it!!!" and then he said "GROOOOVEY"? do you remember that part?
okay, when i say shit like that ^ do you laugh, or do you just smile awkwardly and think im a fruit?
do you enjoy orange julius'?
would you ever download a "blingtone" for your cell phone?
if there was a blingtone about orange julius, wouldnt that be badass?
last question: what kind of idiot would wanna be my wife/man mate?
alright, while im not currently accepting applications, i'll put it in my achives and should the position of "phils wife" need to be filled, i will give you a call.
and then i'll fill YOUR position.
ZING!
hah yeah that was bad, but i just had to do it. them's the rules.
so yeah, i should get back to my cartoon.
my cereal is getting all soggy.
stays crunchy in milk. pfft. my ASS.
stays crunchy in milk.
christ ive been up for too long.
HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LET ME GO ON LIKE THIS?!
THIS ENTERY WAS POINTLESS!!!!!!
TELL THE PEOPLE!!!!!!