Crash course!
The world is falling apart around me. My walls are caving in. I feel like I am on the edge of my pathetic exsistance. All I can think about is somewhere warm that I cold run off to. I never wanted to feel like this. I am taking the next big step in my life, and everything is crashing down on me now. I am sick, I am tired, I had nightmares all night last night. I could not sleep. I just want to be put down right now. Someone please just sedate me.
I am starting to get that fear again. The fear that I am pushing people away, or that they are pushing me away. I am happy, but scared. I have this voice in the back of my head. The voice tells me that everyone is lying to me. I just tell it to shut up. Am I really worth knowing? What have I done lately that has been great? What have I contributed to humanity? I hate showing weakness. I can handle things on my own. I am not crazy. i do not need a psychiatrist. I just need people in my life who are honest.
In my dream last night, I was a police officer. I came home to my house in west park. Erika was there. We had dinner, and began to talk. She told me that she had lied to me, and most of her ex -boyfriends were better then me. She told me to get out. So I ran towards the mirror, and pushed through. On the other side of the mirror I found myself. Except I was altered. I was everything I secretely wanted to be in my own head. It was depressing to look at. I then turned back to see Erika with another man through the mirrior. I shoot the mirror, and wake up.
This is the worst Nightmare I have had in a while. I need to lie down, and think things through.
I am starting to get that fear again. The fear that I am pushing people away, or that they are pushing me away. I am happy, but scared. I have this voice in the back of my head. The voice tells me that everyone is lying to me. I just tell it to shut up. Am I really worth knowing? What have I done lately that has been great? What have I contributed to humanity? I hate showing weakness. I can handle things on my own. I am not crazy. i do not need a psychiatrist. I just need people in my life who are honest.
In my dream last night, I was a police officer. I came home to my house in west park. Erika was there. We had dinner, and began to talk. She told me that she had lied to me, and most of her ex -boyfriends were better then me. She told me to get out. So I ran towards the mirror, and pushed through. On the other side of the mirror I found myself. Except I was altered. I was everything I secretely wanted to be in my own head. It was depressing to look at. I then turned back to see Erika with another man through the mirrior. I shoot the mirror, and wake up.
This is the worst Nightmare I have had in a while. I need to lie down, and think things through.