(no subject)
I had the worst dream:
Family friends tried to hook me up with their daughter, a younger hispanic girl. She must have been like 16. I did not know that she was younger than me before we met, and I got painfully uncomfortable. Then she started telling me about her boyfriend and girlfriend, and i got really confused because I knew she had intentions with me. I asked her to clarify her staus with these people and she explained that she just cant get enough from one person that she has no consideration for monogomy. it made me sick to my stomach to hear this coming out of a 16 year olds mouth. I think i even cried.
it was just a dream but i think that the response was real. it was as if i was talking to myself at 16, and my 16 year old self made my new self cry. when i was 16 i felt similarly, being with one person scared the shit out of me. i dont know why or how but ive changed so much and it scares me. a couple years ago i was totally desensitized when it came to relationships, and sexual behavior. and now im oversensistized, i cant even think of hooking up with a guy who isnt considering a future with me. is that creepy or what?
i think i need to take time off of school. i need to understand things better, i need to fullfill dreams, i need to find my comfort zone, i need to figure out what i want
Family friends tried to hook me up with their daughter, a younger hispanic girl. She must have been like 16. I did not know that she was younger than me before we met, and I got painfully uncomfortable. Then she started telling me about her boyfriend and girlfriend, and i got really confused because I knew she had intentions with me. I asked her to clarify her staus with these people and she explained that she just cant get enough from one person that she has no consideration for monogomy. it made me sick to my stomach to hear this coming out of a 16 year olds mouth. I think i even cried.
it was just a dream but i think that the response was real. it was as if i was talking to myself at 16, and my 16 year old self made my new self cry. when i was 16 i felt similarly, being with one person scared the shit out of me. i dont know why or how but ive changed so much and it scares me. a couple years ago i was totally desensitized when it came to relationships, and sexual behavior. and now im oversensistized, i cant even think of hooking up with a guy who isnt considering a future with me. is that creepy or what?
i think i need to take time off of school. i need to understand things better, i need to fullfill dreams, i need to find my comfort zone, i need to figure out what i want