(no subject)
oh fuck....
i hooked up with this guy, and he likes me (or so he said) but im just so apprehensive about it. hes one of the most attractive boys iv ever seen, seriously. ive just had such a shitty fucking year and the prsopect of falling in love at this point seems scary and overwhelming. I think he might be a romantic-ahhhhh fuck. i mean its stupid because what im afraid of is that he isnt intersting enough, perfect enough, fashionable enough, smart enough, mature enough... all these enoughs. the list goes on. but i mean why worry about that? why not just enjoy his company untill we both move on? i mean im only gunna be here for a couple months so this probably wouldnt last longer than that anyway?. why am i so fucking apprehensive about everything good? i guess i hate dissapointments. i also dont know him too well. i should give him a chance. but hes going to fucking amsterdam on thursday. but then hell be back, and by then maybe i will have come to terms with what happened between us. ahhh my life is so fucking wierd and i dont know why i insisted on smoking that night? i need to stop everything that i do intentionally because i intend on doing stupid things....i like it better when i have no intentions.
i hooked up with this guy, and he likes me (or so he said) but im just so apprehensive about it. hes one of the most attractive boys iv ever seen, seriously. ive just had such a shitty fucking year and the prsopect of falling in love at this point seems scary and overwhelming. I think he might be a romantic-ahhhhh fuck. i mean its stupid because what im afraid of is that he isnt intersting enough, perfect enough, fashionable enough, smart enough, mature enough... all these enoughs. the list goes on. but i mean why worry about that? why not just enjoy his company untill we both move on? i mean im only gunna be here for a couple months so this probably wouldnt last longer than that anyway?. why am i so fucking apprehensive about everything good? i guess i hate dissapointments. i also dont know him too well. i should give him a chance. but hes going to fucking amsterdam on thursday. but then hell be back, and by then maybe i will have come to terms with what happened between us. ahhh my life is so fucking wierd and i dont know why i insisted on smoking that night? i need to stop everything that i do intentionally because i intend on doing stupid things....i like it better when i have no intentions.