overheard in the robot household
robot's friend: Did you ever get that fridge thing sorted out?
robot: Kind of. They replaced the broken one with one where the door opens on the opposite side. The only problem was that then I couldn't open the fridge because the doorknob of the storage room door was blocking it.
friend: Did you call the rental company back again?
robot: Yeah, they said they were too backed up to come and move it or fix the problem.
friend: So what did you do?
robot: Well, first I tried taking off the door and attaching it to the opposite side, but it looks like whoever had the fridge before me ripped the door off, and then it had to be put back on and reinforced in such a way that I wasn't sure I'd be able to transfer it.
friend: So now do you just have to open the storage room every time you want a glass of milk or something?
robot: No, I moved it.
friend: The doorknob?
robot: No, the fridge.
friend: By yourself?
robot: Yep.
friend: You lie.
robot: Fact.
friend: How?
robot: One night I had some scotch and decided I was fed up with the situation, so I looped some cord around the back of it and used my entire body as a counterweight. I put a little bit of mineral oil down on the floor to make it slide more easily.
friend: You're crazy.
robot: If by "crazy" you mean "brilliant."
friend: You do realize you could have died, right?
robot: I kept it stable with a couple of boxes of books. It actually wasn't that hard.
friend: ...Tony Stark? Is that you?
robot: Kind of. They replaced the broken one with one where the door opens on the opposite side. The only problem was that then I couldn't open the fridge because the doorknob of the storage room door was blocking it.
friend: Did you call the rental company back again?
robot: Yeah, they said they were too backed up to come and move it or fix the problem.
friend: So what did you do?
robot: Well, first I tried taking off the door and attaching it to the opposite side, but it looks like whoever had the fridge before me ripped the door off, and then it had to be put back on and reinforced in such a way that I wasn't sure I'd be able to transfer it.
friend: So now do you just have to open the storage room every time you want a glass of milk or something?
robot: No, I moved it.
friend: The doorknob?
robot: No, the fridge.
friend: By yourself?
robot: Yep.
friend: You lie.
robot: Fact.
friend: How?
robot: One night I had some scotch and decided I was fed up with the situation, so I looped some cord around the back of it and used my entire body as a counterweight. I put a little bit of mineral oil down on the floor to make it slide more easily.
friend: You're crazy.
robot: If by "crazy" you mean "brilliant."
friend: You do realize you could have died, right?
robot: I kept it stable with a couple of boxes of books. It actually wasn't that hard.
friend: ...Tony Stark? Is that you?