I think.

[robotfrenzy]

I think I may have been a lack luster friend to some people I truely care about. fuck I wish it would be easier. I wish everyone stayed closer.

Comments

using your comment space as my journal space.

[threadsofreason]

well that's what happens when you're mr popular i guess! really though i hate how people drift apart at this age. i hate how it seems like you can make friends with a "group" of people but you can't mix groups together. i hate how there's not a good way to stay friends with people that live far away from you. some of the people i cared about most in my life i know nothing about now because i see them once a year or less. and making new friends is discouraging to me because i always feel sort of fake, like how am i supposed to be friends with someone that doesn't really know me, didn't grow up with me, hasn't been with me for anything important. like i have friends i went through serious stuff with in high school, or in orlando, and you get really bonded, which i'm sure you have now with your italy friends. so it feels like new friendships can't really compare. i just met so many awesome fun people a few weekends ago and it was probably the most fun weekend of all times. except they all live in salt lake. things like this make me want to quit school and move somewhere where i have people i enjoy being with. at least i'd be happy even if i'd be poor and have a dead end job. i don't know maybe i'm just not good at making friends but who wants to make friends with someone you only kind of like being around? and it takes awhile for me to trust anyone enough to be myself around them anyway. it was easier with julie around but after everything that happened with her i think my trust issues are a lot worse. i think this comment is fulfilling my need to vent because i don't like posting things for everyone to read anymore.
anyway, i'm surprised whenever you post on here. you're not in the US are you???? i know you're booked solid with your 800 best friends for probably the next 10 years but i hope to see you sometimes. i don't think your friends seem like they are super interested in being friendly to new people, but i dunno, maybe i come off that way too. no, i don't think i do. i try really hard to be nice to everyone even if i think they're annoying or boring or don't care. so i dunno, i don't understand why anybody wouldn't be nice to everyone. anyway i don't know what this tangent is i'm going off on. i probably just don't know your friends enough to know anything.
SO talk to you later!