Not a very popular opinion, I know...
...but Boondock Saints is about the most tasteless, uninspired, dumbest fucking film I've ever wasted an hour and a half watching. The next time I hear an exclamated "Oh, you have to see Boondock Saints!" to an unsuspecting moviegoer, I'm going to pee on the culture-hating culprit. Why is this heap of shit paraded by so many as such a great movie?
Is it the insipid plot, complete with one dimensional characters whose motives are about as interesting as a slug that's just had salt dumped on it?
Is it the unforgivably shitty coping off the style of a certain director who made a lot of noise in the movie world 12 or so years ago (hmmm...absurd episodes of violence, but this time, seemingly for it's own sake; the protagonists' recitation of religious texts before pulling the trigger; and the hairtrigger death of an innocent, this time a cat)? I'm sure the two MacManus guys are fun to look at, but the acting is so ridiculously bad, it's almost impressive in a way. It is impressive! It's impressive in the same way an abecedarian chimp is impressive. First it puts away 10 volumes of encyclopedias in order. Then it throws shit at you.
It's interesting that though the big concern in the movie is with the Russian mob, all the actors are Italian, and are also given Italian names in the movie. And you know, I'm supposed to be into this stuff. I like violent movies, and I'm willing to give anything that is interested in Irish-Americanness a chance. But it's stupid violence in a stupid movie and it doesn't take an interest in Irish-Americanness; Saints only exploits it in a typically American way.
And Mr. Defoe! Your record is forever tainted with the decision to be in this movie. Full vindication is impossible.
I wouldn't be as angry about this cinematic exercise in idiocy if it weren't for all the people who told me how necessary it is that I see it. I can handle a trillion dollar piece of dog shit like King Kong walking away with a case load of Oscars. That's tinsel town garbage, and I know it doesn't deserve my attention anyway. Moreover, we can disagree on how good or bad a movie is based on our own judgments, interests in one aesthetic over another, criteria for what qualifies films as worth watching or not, etc. But recommending Boondock Saints to a friend is just unforgivable. That's like opening up a box of rancid smelling, decaying food or something and telling someone you care about to take a whiff. What the fuck?! You're supposed to protect me from that shit. Thought you had my back.
I can count on two hands how many of my "friends" talked this movie up. To all of you, either you rescind this recommendation (if it can even be done at this point), or you make a case for Saints which is, despite the movie itself, worth a shit. If you succeed in doing so, you will never be exculpated of your offence. BUT, I will consider future recommendations of all kinds. Otherwise, while I will continue to respect you, your opinions will mean absolutely nothing to me.
Is it the insipid plot, complete with one dimensional characters whose motives are about as interesting as a slug that's just had salt dumped on it?
Is it the unforgivably shitty coping off the style of a certain director who made a lot of noise in the movie world 12 or so years ago (hmmm...absurd episodes of violence, but this time, seemingly for it's own sake; the protagonists' recitation of religious texts before pulling the trigger; and the hairtrigger death of an innocent, this time a cat)? I'm sure the two MacManus guys are fun to look at, but the acting is so ridiculously bad, it's almost impressive in a way. It is impressive! It's impressive in the same way an abecedarian chimp is impressive. First it puts away 10 volumes of encyclopedias in order. Then it throws shit at you.
It's interesting that though the big concern in the movie is with the Russian mob, all the actors are Italian, and are also given Italian names in the movie. And you know, I'm supposed to be into this stuff. I like violent movies, and I'm willing to give anything that is interested in Irish-Americanness a chance. But it's stupid violence in a stupid movie and it doesn't take an interest in Irish-Americanness; Saints only exploits it in a typically American way.
And Mr. Defoe! Your record is forever tainted with the decision to be in this movie. Full vindication is impossible.
I wouldn't be as angry about this cinematic exercise in idiocy if it weren't for all the people who told me how necessary it is that I see it. I can handle a trillion dollar piece of dog shit like King Kong walking away with a case load of Oscars. That's tinsel town garbage, and I know it doesn't deserve my attention anyway. Moreover, we can disagree on how good or bad a movie is based on our own judgments, interests in one aesthetic over another, criteria for what qualifies films as worth watching or not, etc. But recommending Boondock Saints to a friend is just unforgivable. That's like opening up a box of rancid smelling, decaying food or something and telling someone you care about to take a whiff. What the fuck?! You're supposed to protect me from that shit. Thought you had my back.
I can count on two hands how many of my "friends" talked this movie up. To all of you, either you rescind this recommendation (if it can even be done at this point), or you make a case for Saints which is, despite the movie itself, worth a shit. If you succeed in doing so, you will never be exculpated of your offence. BUT, I will consider future recommendations of all kinds. Otherwise, while I will continue to respect you, your opinions will mean absolutely nothing to me.