Didja Hear?
Written for the prompt 'chrysalis' on story_lottery. When a star changes her mind, controversy results.
Silk.
She could have happily gone on her way without ever knowing where it came from, how it was made. She hated to think that all this time she had been happily bedding down on silken sheets, wrapping her body with the wretched stuff for parties, and yet she had never had the slightest inkling that it was made of the cocoons of silkworms that had been boiled alive.
Ugh. Egyptian cotton and satin for her, from now on. No way she was ever touching dead insect excretion again.
-
“She WHAT?” he yelped into his cell as he navigated the horrors of New York traffic during rush hour with one hand. “But the runway show is only two days away! I specifically designed that dress to her exact measurements; it fits her torso and shoulders like a glove. It was just for her- this whole collection is designed around her and her music!”
As he tried not to panic, grasping at the one question that might justify such a sudden change of plans, he asked: “Why?”
-
“Hey, didja hear?” It was ten in the evening, and the assistants were doing their part, packing up the equipment and making sure the stylist’s clothes were neatly hung up and kept in their dust covers. “About Stef?”
“Stef? Gwen Stef?”
“No, you ass, Stef Rosworth! That old-money paid-for-the-privilege-of-being-a singer with the Pleiades constellation tattooed across her face! The one who got her first single banned from the radio!”
“Ooooh! Y’mean Juliet And Romilla? The one goes ‘Said no, Romeo, got my own girl, I rock her bed and she rocks my world’ (snap snap)?”
“Hey, hold on to this, hunh? It’s heavy! Yeah, thass the one. Y’know how Josef Lederelmain was doin’ a capsule collection about her?”
“Mmm, yeah, I heard about that. Vogue said ‘it’s either a match made in hell, or God is having a very, very good laugh’. So wha’hoppen?”
“She’s quit! With the runway show goin’ tomorrow!”
“Holy mutherfuckin’ shit. Lederelmain must’ve had a fit!” There was a short pause before he went on, “Didn’t plan on that rhyme.”
“Yeah, well, it’s better than your usual efforts.”
-
Rosworth Boycotts Silk
The punk princess of pop, Steffi, better known as Stef Rosworth, has declared war on silk manufacturers, and has stopped wearing or using silk in any form. Her first actions manifested in the abrupt quitting of headlining Josef Lederelmain’s new capsule collection, which was created using Steffi’s image and music as inspiration, scant days before the runway show. The collection, titled ‘Worth the Rose’, makes extensive use of silk, as well as velvet and cotton…
-
“Oh, Christ, these celebs couldn’t get any worse. Heard the latest?”
“Uh huh. Woah, that Steffi! Most celebs just go vegetarian, but this’s a whole ‘nother level.”
“If anything, I thought she’d be boycotting fur.”
“Hey guys! Hey, you heard about Stef Rosworth?”
“Yup, we were just talkin’ ‘bout her. That whole silk business is ridiculous.”
“No, no, this is way more outrageous! Get this: PETA’s criticizing her cause because even though she’s boycotting silk, she still eats meat!”
“What?”
“Why the hell…?”
“I know! It makes zilch sense!”
-
“Honey, I’m sure Stefanie has a reason for this-”
“No she doesn’t! Silk! My god, Keith, of all the fluffy-brained, idiotic things! She couldn’t at least have made a sensible choice, like fur?”
“But really, the method-“
“I couldn’t care less about the method of making silk. They’re insects! Who gives a damn about them? We raised Stefanie better than this!”
“Alicia-”
“Don’t you try to calm me down, Keith! The way Stefanie’s acting, I wish you’d have let me put her over my knee once in a while! She certainly needed it!”
-
“Welcome back to The Sally Jane Show, where I’m here in the studio with pop star Steffi, whose much discussed boycotting of silk has drawn puhlenty media attention! So, Steffi, would you explain for the viewers at home your views on silk?”
“It’s waay simple. Y’know what silk’s made of?” She gave a very expressive shudder, with a calculated jiggle of her breasts. “Boiled cocoons. I mean, eurgh. It’s made of insect secretions in which the bug died. Can we say gross?”
There was a strained pause, during which Sally Jane groped for a suitable rejoinder to this surprising statement. “Well, uh… don’t you think the insects suffer, dying like that? Just for barely a square inch of silk?”
Steffi tossed her long red hair over her shoulder. “Who cares? What’s more important is that it is just way disgusting that I was wearing stuff made out of insect goo.”
Total silence reigned throughout the studio, encompassing both audience and studio staff. Steffi prattled on, regardless.
-
“Dear god why couldn’t I have had a daughter with a brain-”
“Alicia, calm down, this isn’t doing any good for your blood pressure!”
-
“At least the show went off okay, Josef.”
“The dress… *sob*it just didn’t look right on Anna… I made it for Steffi and she din’ wan’ it…”
“I know, I know, Steffi changed her mind about the material. Let go of the bottle now, luv, okay?”
“*snif* Don’ wanna, Allen… God, why’d Millie break up wi’ her… she’d’ve done the sens’ble thing ‘n’ got her off this no-silk kick… *hic*”
“Baby, Millie didn’t want to put up with Steffi’s nonsensical whimsy anymore, remember? Now calm down and stop crying into your beer. Mmm?”
“*snif* …jus’ wan’ed the dress t’be perf’ct…”
-
“Hey Millie… isn’t this you in the photo? With Stef Rosworth?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. We were an item for a while… started before she was famous, but I broke up with her when she pulled that stunt, directing traffic in her underwear.”
“Daaaamn, Montague. Why’d you let a babe like that go?”
“Because she doesn’t have even half a brain! I just said I broke up with her because she did that traffic thing. Now she’s boycotting silk because it’s made of insect secretions. I just got sick of her spouting whacked-out words and doing stupid things.”
“Harsh. Why’d you get with her in the first place, then?”
“Because she was charming and she smelled like chamomile and she used to sound so adorable… please stop that googly-eyed expression, Jackie, or I’ll punch you.”
“Oh, yeah, like you didn’t have the same expression on your face just now.”
Silk.
She could have happily gone on her way without ever knowing where it came from, how it was made. She hated to think that all this time she had been happily bedding down on silken sheets, wrapping her body with the wretched stuff for parties, and yet she had never had the slightest inkling that it was made of the cocoons of silkworms that had been boiled alive.
Ugh. Egyptian cotton and satin for her, from now on. No way she was ever touching dead insect excretion again.
-
“She WHAT?” he yelped into his cell as he navigated the horrors of New York traffic during rush hour with one hand. “But the runway show is only two days away! I specifically designed that dress to her exact measurements; it fits her torso and shoulders like a glove. It was just for her- this whole collection is designed around her and her music!”
As he tried not to panic, grasping at the one question that might justify such a sudden change of plans, he asked: “Why?”
-
“Hey, didja hear?” It was ten in the evening, and the assistants were doing their part, packing up the equipment and making sure the stylist’s clothes were neatly hung up and kept in their dust covers. “About Stef?”
“Stef? Gwen Stef?”
“No, you ass, Stef Rosworth! That old-money paid-for-the-privilege-of-being-a singer with the Pleiades constellation tattooed across her face! The one who got her first single banned from the radio!”
“Ooooh! Y’mean Juliet And Romilla? The one goes ‘Said no, Romeo, got my own girl, I rock her bed and she rocks my world’ (snap snap)?”
“Hey, hold on to this, hunh? It’s heavy! Yeah, thass the one. Y’know how Josef Lederelmain was doin’ a capsule collection about her?”
“Mmm, yeah, I heard about that. Vogue said ‘it’s either a match made in hell, or God is having a very, very good laugh’. So wha’hoppen?”
“She’s quit! With the runway show goin’ tomorrow!”
“Holy mutherfuckin’ shit. Lederelmain must’ve had a fit!” There was a short pause before he went on, “Didn’t plan on that rhyme.”
“Yeah, well, it’s better than your usual efforts.”
-
Rosworth Boycotts Silk
The punk princess of pop, Steffi, better known as Stef Rosworth, has declared war on silk manufacturers, and has stopped wearing or using silk in any form. Her first actions manifested in the abrupt quitting of headlining Josef Lederelmain’s new capsule collection, which was created using Steffi’s image and music as inspiration, scant days before the runway show. The collection, titled ‘Worth the Rose’, makes extensive use of silk, as well as velvet and cotton…
-
“Oh, Christ, these celebs couldn’t get any worse. Heard the latest?”
“Uh huh. Woah, that Steffi! Most celebs just go vegetarian, but this’s a whole ‘nother level.”
“If anything, I thought she’d be boycotting fur.”
“Hey guys! Hey, you heard about Stef Rosworth?”
“Yup, we were just talkin’ ‘bout her. That whole silk business is ridiculous.”
“No, no, this is way more outrageous! Get this: PETA’s criticizing her cause because even though she’s boycotting silk, she still eats meat!”
“What?”
“Why the hell…?”
“I know! It makes zilch sense!”
-
“Honey, I’m sure Stefanie has a reason for this-”
“No she doesn’t! Silk! My god, Keith, of all the fluffy-brained, idiotic things! She couldn’t at least have made a sensible choice, like fur?”
“But really, the method-“
“I couldn’t care less about the method of making silk. They’re insects! Who gives a damn about them? We raised Stefanie better than this!”
“Alicia-”
“Don’t you try to calm me down, Keith! The way Stefanie’s acting, I wish you’d have let me put her over my knee once in a while! She certainly needed it!”
-
“Welcome back to The Sally Jane Show, where I’m here in the studio with pop star Steffi, whose much discussed boycotting of silk has drawn puhlenty media attention! So, Steffi, would you explain for the viewers at home your views on silk?”
“It’s waay simple. Y’know what silk’s made of?” She gave a very expressive shudder, with a calculated jiggle of her breasts. “Boiled cocoons. I mean, eurgh. It’s made of insect secretions in which the bug died. Can we say gross?”
There was a strained pause, during which Sally Jane groped for a suitable rejoinder to this surprising statement. “Well, uh… don’t you think the insects suffer, dying like that? Just for barely a square inch of silk?”
Steffi tossed her long red hair over her shoulder. “Who cares? What’s more important is that it is just way disgusting that I was wearing stuff made out of insect goo.”
Total silence reigned throughout the studio, encompassing both audience and studio staff. Steffi prattled on, regardless.
-
“Dear god why couldn’t I have had a daughter with a brain-”
“Alicia, calm down, this isn’t doing any good for your blood pressure!”
-
“At least the show went off okay, Josef.”
“The dress… *sob*it just didn’t look right on Anna… I made it for Steffi and she din’ wan’ it…”
“I know, I know, Steffi changed her mind about the material. Let go of the bottle now, luv, okay?”
“*snif* Don’ wanna, Allen… God, why’d Millie break up wi’ her… she’d’ve done the sens’ble thing ‘n’ got her off this no-silk kick… *hic*”
“Baby, Millie didn’t want to put up with Steffi’s nonsensical whimsy anymore, remember? Now calm down and stop crying into your beer. Mmm?”
“*snif* …jus’ wan’ed the dress t’be perf’ct…”
-
“Hey Millie… isn’t this you in the photo? With Stef Rosworth?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. We were an item for a while… started before she was famous, but I broke up with her when she pulled that stunt, directing traffic in her underwear.”
“Daaaamn, Montague. Why’d you let a babe like that go?”
“Because she doesn’t have even half a brain! I just said I broke up with her because she did that traffic thing. Now she’s boycotting silk because it’s made of insect secretions. I just got sick of her spouting whacked-out words and doing stupid things.”
“Harsh. Why’d you get with her in the first place, then?”
“Because she was charming and she smelled like chamomile and she used to sound so adorable… please stop that googly-eyed expression, Jackie, or I’ll punch you.”
“Oh, yeah, like you didn’t have the same expression on your face just now.”