GET THOSE NO GOOD CHEEKY BULLS IN THE BLOODY METAL BOAT!
Egads!
I just spent six hours in a movie theater. After Thanksgiving dinner I went to the cinema to rot my brain with The Transporter 3. (By the way, any movie sequel that has to use a number instead of thinking up a new title is destined to blow. Anyhow…) I ended up running into my friend Kaan who was seeing the same movie. Well, after two hours of explosions and soft-core Ukrainian strip teases, we decided that the movie simply wasn't worth the exorbitant fee of 12 dollars (no student discount?!) and so we decided to justify our purchase by sneaking into another feature.
We decided upon Australia, which for a number of reasons it seemed like a solid choice; the next show started right away, we were both kind of interested in seeing it, and we were able to bypass the massive pre-qued line of eager Thanksgiving moviegoers and slip in to grab the seats of our choice.
The movie was really good. Like, really, really good. Only problem….
It was over three fucking hours long! Honest to blog, this thing was the modern day Lawrence of Arabia. It ended more times than LOTR: Return of the King, glorious fadeouts and all! It's like they couldn't decided what to cut, so the left it ALL in. EVERYTHING. Great story, really, but it could quite easily have been two movies.
The first half was an epic Western about cattle herding, and the second half was a full-blown war movie about a mother being reunited with her son. In all seriousness, if they cut the negative straight down the middle, they would have two epic, Academy Award-winning movies. But please, no one can sit through the ballad [Baz
Luhrmann/the director] spun--especially after already having spent a fair amount of time in a theatre prior. The guy in front of us probably went to the bathroom 7 or 9 times - once for every three endings.
I just spent six hours in a movie theater. After Thanksgiving dinner I went to the cinema to rot my brain with The Transporter 3. (By the way, any movie sequel that has to use a number instead of thinking up a new title is destined to blow. Anyhow…) I ended up running into my friend Kaan who was seeing the same movie. Well, after two hours of explosions and soft-core Ukrainian strip teases, we decided that the movie simply wasn't worth the exorbitant fee of 12 dollars (no student discount?!) and so we decided to justify our purchase by sneaking into another feature.
We decided upon Australia, which for a number of reasons it seemed like a solid choice; the next show started right away, we were both kind of interested in seeing it, and we were able to bypass the massive pre-qued line of eager Thanksgiving moviegoers and slip in to grab the seats of our choice.
The movie was really good. Like, really, really good. Only problem….
It was over three fucking hours long! Honest to blog, this thing was the modern day Lawrence of Arabia. It ended more times than LOTR: Return of the King, glorious fadeouts and all! It's like they couldn't decided what to cut, so the left it ALL in. EVERYTHING. Great story, really, but it could quite easily have been two movies.
The first half was an epic Western about cattle herding, and the second half was a full-blown war movie about a mother being reunited with her son. In all seriousness, if they cut the negative straight down the middle, they would have two epic, Academy Award-winning movies. But please, no one can sit through the ballad [Baz
Luhrmann/the director] spun--especially after already having spent a fair amount of time in a theatre prior. The guy in front of us probably went to the bathroom 7 or 9 times - once for every three endings.