nowadays
i just feel drained all the time. like all i should be doing is sleeping. i sleep a whole lot, then get up, but i'm just as tired as i was before. i'm sick of all this work. i really don't care about most if it. i'm not sure if i really care about learning anything at the moment. i'd much rather just sit around doing graphic design and painting murals.
graphic design is intensly fun for me. it's one thing i can really enjoy. i never took any classes in it because it always seemed contrived and not that much fun, but when i'm given free rein for my ideas, the ability to impose what i find quirky and funny to the masses i feel empowered, freed from the everyday toil and drudge. who gives a shit about differential equations. i sure as hell don't right now. but browsing, finding random pictures, then creating something from them--that's rewarding. delihaus was so much fun for me. it was a lot of work, and stressful, but i was able to create something poeple appreciated. the masses that made my life 5 hours of hell came because people liked what i did (in terms of publicity) and it made them want to come. it was glorious.
there's a picture i want to paint outside of my room:
blake sent it to me a while ago. i kept it because it was pretty. now i want it in towers. i'll leave something beautiful, something that embodies this place. i hope i have time for it.
i miss the people in wisconsin. it's not a place i really want to go back to, but the people made it worthwhile. their happiness, their carefree attitude. there's a bit of it here, but it's so easily covered up. today we were playing frisbee, and this kid walked by the dot that looked a little like ward. for a moment there was that glimmer of hope, but it wasn't true. everyone here is amazing and unique and great, but they just can't replace the uniqueness that certain people in eau claire had. meh.
but we are going to start shadowrunning, so i'm excited. george has all the sourcebooks and ridiculous excess time. dmax has excess of d6's, and i have lack of gaming. yay.
graphic design is intensly fun for me. it's one thing i can really enjoy. i never took any classes in it because it always seemed contrived and not that much fun, but when i'm given free rein for my ideas, the ability to impose what i find quirky and funny to the masses i feel empowered, freed from the everyday toil and drudge. who gives a shit about differential equations. i sure as hell don't right now. but browsing, finding random pictures, then creating something from them--that's rewarding. delihaus was so much fun for me. it was a lot of work, and stressful, but i was able to create something poeple appreciated. the masses that made my life 5 hours of hell came because people liked what i did (in terms of publicity) and it made them want to come. it was glorious.
there's a picture i want to paint outside of my room:
blake sent it to me a while ago. i kept it because it was pretty. now i want it in towers. i'll leave something beautiful, something that embodies this place. i hope i have time for it.
i miss the people in wisconsin. it's not a place i really want to go back to, but the people made it worthwhile. their happiness, their carefree attitude. there's a bit of it here, but it's so easily covered up. today we were playing frisbee, and this kid walked by the dot that looked a little like ward. for a moment there was that glimmer of hope, but it wasn't true. everyone here is amazing and unique and great, but they just can't replace the uniqueness that certain people in eau claire had. meh.
but we are going to start shadowrunning, so i'm excited. george has all the sourcebooks and ridiculous excess time. dmax has excess of d6's, and i have lack of gaming. yay.