(no subject)
well, it's july. i'm working at wendy's again because about 6 or so other jobs fell through. to pass the time i've been pirating movies and tinkering.i've once again fallen into a state of being nocturnal. and my space bar is acting up. with that out of the way, i'm just going to ramble for a bit, because my mind is acting up, and it's 4:25 AM and sleep should be my friend.
well, with the hopefully succesful cut above, lets get going. my mind often mulls over what's gone through my past. all the little details that make up my memory, the colors, the experiances, the people, and i wonder. why? why do i do the things that i do? why do i make the mistakes that i make? why am i sometimes really smart, and other times incredibly dumb? and i just don't know. it's fallen back to the point where i feel like i'm an outsider in my own life again. watching as someone else takes the controlls of my life. these choices i make in day to day living, am i really making them? i don't know, i've just seemed to detatch myself from what's happening. i wake up, i go to work, i come home, i eat dinner and i go to sleep after watching a movie or two. wash, rinse, repeat. to liven things up, i try to throw together a poker game here and there, maybe a movie night.luck of the draw on whether people care enough to show up. i dunno, my faith in people is just slipping lately, and i wonder, why do i put up with all this? am i getting anything out of it? is this what i like to do? and really, i just don't know. i left for new york almost two years ago. and it's as if this place is no longer my home. i left. now i'm just here visiting for three months until i can go back home. and i feel as though i miss home. home at rpi. where things are within walking distance. anything is a phone call away. where i can care about what's going on in my life. i dunno. right now i just need a drink
well, with the hopefully succesful cut above, lets get going. my mind often mulls over what's gone through my past. all the little details that make up my memory, the colors, the experiances, the people, and i wonder. why? why do i do the things that i do? why do i make the mistakes that i make? why am i sometimes really smart, and other times incredibly dumb? and i just don't know. it's fallen back to the point where i feel like i'm an outsider in my own life again. watching as someone else takes the controlls of my life. these choices i make in day to day living, am i really making them? i don't know, i've just seemed to detatch myself from what's happening. i wake up, i go to work, i come home, i eat dinner and i go to sleep after watching a movie or two. wash, rinse, repeat. to liven things up, i try to throw together a poker game here and there, maybe a movie night.luck of the draw on whether people care enough to show up. i dunno, my faith in people is just slipping lately, and i wonder, why do i put up with all this? am i getting anything out of it? is this what i like to do? and really, i just don't know. i left for new york almost two years ago. and it's as if this place is no longer my home. i left. now i'm just here visiting for three months until i can go back home. and i feel as though i miss home. home at rpi. where things are within walking distance. anything is a phone call away. where i can care about what's going on in my life. i dunno. right now i just need a drink