I don't like to compare a person with others, but....
*Depressing post*
Today, I asked my older brother to send me some Japanese songs on MSN, and I was talking to him while downloading the songs.
He is very smart. He doesn't study a lot, but he can learn everything so fast. He is good at math, and he knows a lot of things about computers. I always ask him when I have any problems on my computer. He can program. When he was 11, he made a computer game and it was introduced on a computer magazine. He can play the piano, trumpet, and guitar, and he is much better than me at all of them except guitars. He is really good at composing music, and he knows a lot of techniques of composing music. He speaks Japanese, English, and French. Although I speak English better than him because I'm studying it in America, he speaks French much better than me, and his English skills are much higher than most Japanese people, although he has studied English in Japan.
Only thing that I could say I was better than him was communication skills. I'm very shy, but I have a lot of friends in Japan and in America now. He had few friends because he couldn't think about others' feelings. I could get a first girlfriend earlier than him (it was a very short period, though), but now he has a good girlfriend and is enjoying his life with someone he loves. When I first heard that he had gotten the girlfriend, I was glad because he had had depression at the beginning of this year so I had been really worried about him. But now, I just have a sense of inferiority.
No one compares me with him (except my STUPID grandma), but I tend to compare myself with him because he is my brother. All of my friends would say, "You don't have to feel like that. You are you," and I know that....but I still feel inferior. If anyone has the answer to get rid of this feeling, please tell me...
I like my brother. He is nice. I hate myself who often feels bad because of him. It's not his fault; it's my fault.
Today's our conversation just awoke this feeling again. To be honest, one of the reasons why I decided to study abroad was that I wanted to leave the place where he is, not to think about him anymore.
Today, I asked my older brother to send me some Japanese songs on MSN, and I was talking to him while downloading the songs.
He is very smart. He doesn't study a lot, but he can learn everything so fast. He is good at math, and he knows a lot of things about computers. I always ask him when I have any problems on my computer. He can program. When he was 11, he made a computer game and it was introduced on a computer magazine. He can play the piano, trumpet, and guitar, and he is much better than me at all of them except guitars. He is really good at composing music, and he knows a lot of techniques of composing music. He speaks Japanese, English, and French. Although I speak English better than him because I'm studying it in America, he speaks French much better than me, and his English skills are much higher than most Japanese people, although he has studied English in Japan.
Only thing that I could say I was better than him was communication skills. I'm very shy, but I have a lot of friends in Japan and in America now. He had few friends because he couldn't think about others' feelings. I could get a first girlfriend earlier than him (it was a very short period, though), but now he has a good girlfriend and is enjoying his life with someone he loves. When I first heard that he had gotten the girlfriend, I was glad because he had had depression at the beginning of this year so I had been really worried about him. But now, I just have a sense of inferiority.
No one compares me with him (except my STUPID grandma), but I tend to compare myself with him because he is my brother. All of my friends would say, "You don't have to feel like that. You are you," and I know that....but I still feel inferior. If anyone has the answer to get rid of this feeling, please tell me...
I like my brother. He is nice. I hate myself who often feels bad because of him. It's not his fault; it's my fault.
Today's our conversation just awoke this feeling again. To be honest, one of the reasons why I decided to study abroad was that I wanted to leave the place where he is, not to think about him anymore.