(no subject)
why the wait?
why the weight?
everything seems in disarray. there was supposed to be some improvement but it seems like i'll be forever working for it. long hours at the church i grew up in have jaded me. my working life and my spiritual life should be seamless, there should be harmony where im only hearing dissonance. the purpose i seek seems routine, just like the work week. "work and drink and sleep repeat".
in the next few months my family will be scattered across the country, the house i spent half my life growing up in will be full of strangers making the renovations they see fit to my now former life.
the adventures i seek cower at what little i have established and stand to loose (turns out greater responsibility and embracing the foot of adulthood weren't the answers i wanted. somethings wrong...this should be youth and energy, but it's general dissatisfaction toward where i am now.
no progress here, and no time to stand around. but the future is forever blurry, and realistically; i don't know what a wise step forward entails.
why the weight?
everything seems in disarray. there was supposed to be some improvement but it seems like i'll be forever working for it. long hours at the church i grew up in have jaded me. my working life and my spiritual life should be seamless, there should be harmony where im only hearing dissonance. the purpose i seek seems routine, just like the work week. "work and drink and sleep repeat".
in the next few months my family will be scattered across the country, the house i spent half my life growing up in will be full of strangers making the renovations they see fit to my now former life.
the adventures i seek cower at what little i have established and stand to loose (turns out greater responsibility and embracing the foot of adulthood weren't the answers i wanted. somethings wrong...this should be youth and energy, but it's general dissatisfaction toward where i am now.
no progress here, and no time to stand around. but the future is forever blurry, and realistically; i don't know what a wise step forward entails.